How to Build Your Confidence in Five Seconds—Really!
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Imagine walking into a room feeling self-assured and at ease. Imagine radiating confidence. The good news: It’s possible to be that person. The good news: It’s possible to be that person. Confidence is a skill that can be built, just like a muscle—and it’s possible to start exercising it now.
Below, we’ve gathered a few exercises that will teach you how to build self-confidence. The following techniques can be completed in under an hour; many, in only a few seconds. From spritzing perfume to practicing good posture, these moves may change your mindset for the better.
If you have one second, sit up straight.
Research suggests that people with good posture have more confidence in their thoughts than slouchers.
If you have two seconds, practice good scents.
One study found that women felt more confident in social, business, and romantic situations when wearing perfume.
If you have three seconds, knock wood.
Psychologists have shown that embracing superstitions and carrying good luck charms can help you perform better.
If you have five seconds, nod along.
When you nod your head when listening to someone, research has shown that your belief in what you’re thinking is heightened.
If you have 10 seconds, flirt.
Social psychologist Laura Kray, PhD, has said that smiling, laughing, and engaging in slight physical contact when negotiating can help you win the day.
If you have 10 minutes, focus on your breathing.
Those who regularly practice Buddhist mindfulness meditation report increased self-acceptance.
If you have 15 minutes, grab a cup of joe.
One more reason to love your latte: 100 milligrams of caffeine has been known to increased alertness, energy, and confidence.
If you have 20 minutes, break a sweat.
Science long ago proved that exercise enhances your mood—but did you know a 20-minute workout can sharpen your state of mind for a whopping 12 hours?
If you have one hour, assemble a confidence toolbox.
Carol Dweck, PhD—professor of psychology at Stanford University and author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success—says that a well-chosen array of objects can give you a major morale boost. (Provided you keep them hidden away “in a drawer or a bookshelf,” says Dweck, “so that when you come upon them or seek them out, their associations are still potent.”) Here's what to include in your collection:
Proof that you can be bold. Did you keep the phone number your husband gave you—after you asked him out? Or the party hat you wore when you started a conga line at a friend’s birthday bash? “Letting loose makes you feel assertive,” says Dweck, so hang on to evidence that you know how to bust out of your shell.
A photo of those closest to you. “Feeling loved is a source of strength,” says Dweck—in part because it provides a social safety net: You’re more likely to take a leap when you know there are people who will catch you if you fall.
A symbol of a new endeavor, like a French-to-English dictionary if you’re learning a new language, or a snapshot if you’re taking photography. “You can derive confidence from the fact that you’re pushing yourself,” Dweck says.
A token of improvement. Were you once hopeless at finishing crosswords, but now you’re acing the Sunday edition? Or maybe you couldn’t run a block six months ago but you just completed a 5K. If so, don’t pitch that puzzle or your number from the race. Quantifiable achievements provide an instant jolt of self-esteem because they make it easy to measure progress.
A biography or magazine profile of your idol. Dweck has her students research personal heroes to learn how they became successful. “The students get inspired because they see that everyone has setbacks,” she says.
An invitation to an upcoming social event. Reminders of future get-togethers bring to mind relationships with loved ones. And, says Dweck, “Looking forward to something keeps you focused on good things to come.”
A token from a time you were there for someone–say, a thank-you note from a friend. “Contributing to another person’s life boosts self-esteem, especially when it helps them make progress toward their own goals,” says Dweck.
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