A Britney Spears Superfan Raves About Her Triumphant Return to the VMAs
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It’s been nine empty years since the reigning princess of pop, known to most as Britney (Jean) Spears, has strutted her iconic stuff on the MTV Video Music Awards stage. (The last time was during an infamous performance of “Gimme More,” which many an evil human cruelly called “tragic” and “career-ending,” but I really enjoyed her sequined two-piece naughty number and icy blue contacts.)
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So, duh, all eyes were nervously on Brit Brit and her anticipated performance this evening, but this time seemingly everyone was rooting for the 34-year-old comeback queen, whose just-released ninth studio album, “Glory,” is glorious. So was Britney’s red, I mean, white carpet number. Britney rocked Julien Macdonald with a Louboutin pumps and H.Stern jewels combo. (I’d also like to give a sartorial-slaying shout-out to the very Britney French tip nails and that glorious golden mane!) Oh! And then Britney decided to do a quick change for her front-row lewk, clad in another exquisite one-shoulder head-turner, albeit this time an insanely white-as-Britney’s-teeth (Hi, Britney has the brightest smile on planet Earth!) gown by Hamel… and with Louboutin pumps and a H.Stern choker! (I’m loving that Britney’s been loving the choker trend as of late.) She looked so damn happy and adorable bouncing around her seat during Rihanna’s opening show performance.
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But then she vanished. And I got a bit nervous. Kanye approaching the stage didn’t help. I did a few breathing exercises, I took a shower, I chanted at my Britney shrine. HELP. Enter Kim Kardashian. I went a bit blank, but she introduced Britney, saying apt things like “original pop princess” and “Ladies and gentleman, making her triumphant return to the VMA stage… It’s Britney, b*tch.” There she was. Well, her iconic shadow. Behind a backdrop, massive sultry shadow puppets gesticulated around the Holy Spearit’s pelvic-thrusting, hair-whipping shadow, before the big magical reveal. Ta-da! It’s Britney clad in a supersexy lime green sequined custom bodysuit. And seemingly back in her fiercest, firecracker, showgirl form, whilst alongside only two female dancers. Sure, her mic wasn’t on, but the lack of an army of dancers is Britney’s boldest form of performance vulnerability like, ever. Also, those moves were so damn sassy. I mostly wasn’t breathing. A minute or so in, the spiked leather-jacket clad rapper G-Eazy was greeted by audience squeals. His verse was upstaged by Britney grabbing his crotch and diving under his legs to execute some intense floor dancing. I can’t lie, though. Britney miming to a prerecorded vocal of her singing the chorus of G-Eazy’s hit “Me, Myself, & I” was a bit… off. Still, it showed Britney’s true humble, selfless colors… giving the newcomer heavy promo for his own jam. Speaking of my humble princess, she’s teamed up with American Red Cross to raise funds for the victims of the natural disaster in her home state of Louisiana, and those who donated funds had a chance to win tonight’s aforementioned stage outfit. Sure, the performance wasn’t perfect, but Britney is.
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