Married Couples Are Sharing The Thing They Hated (And Loved) Most From Their Wedding Day, And These Are Eye-Opening
Wedding season is upon us, folks. Maybe you're getting married, maybe you're in a wedding this summer, or perhaps it just feels like your social media feed is flooded with nuptials.
Whatever the case, when it comes to weddings, you see a lot better in hindsight. There are probably some things you loved about the big day and others you would change. So I browsed the subreddit r/WeddingPlanning and combed through responses from the BuzzFeed Community. Here are the things brides and grooms loved about their wedding day and other elements they regret.
1.REGRET: "Not carving out the time to enjoy myself. Both my wife and I spent a lot of time going around and talking to people, making sure we said hello to all of our guests and doing things to make everyone feel included. Everyone was having a great time and we didn’t need to spend that time appeasing everybody else. In retrospect, we both regret not taking a bit of time to just enjoy ourselves with our closest friends."
2.RELIEF: "Having a friend read our vows in advance of saying them to one another. My husband and I gave our vows to a trusted friend to review and she gave us feedback about how to align them better. To this day I'm so happy we had someone take a look at them before we said them at our ceremony."
3.REGRET: "Allowing other people to influence my big day. I regret not telling people to stop bothering me with their controlling ideas and notions about what my wedding should look like. No, I do not regret my tea length dress (I love it today as much as I loved it then) and I also don't regret have fandom elements because we’re geeks. I wish I stood up for myself sooner because this day was for us, not for anyone else."
4.REGRET: "Asking a friend to take the wedding photos instead of paying more for a professional photographer. I was in grad school at the time I was trying to save money, so I thought this would be a good idea. He was an amateur and our wedding photos came out grainy and blurry. I wish we splurged on a great photographer because once the night is over you'll want the photos to look back on."
5.REGRET: "Going through with it. The biggest regret of first marriage was showing up. Neither of us really wanted to be married, but we were so pressured by our parents we did it anyway."
6.REGRET: "Renting my wedding suit. I wish I bought the suit that I wore instead of renting it. Because it was rented, it didn't fit quite right and it showed in all of my photos. As much as my wife spent on her dress I could've spent $500 to buy the perfect fitting suit. It was a really short sighted mistake on my part."
7.RELIEF: "Doing a first look. I'm glad that my husband and I did a first look. I was tempted to skip it and see one another for the first time under the chuppah, but ultimately we decided on a first look. It was great decision for us. Not only did it get some butterflies out of my stomach, but it also allowed for us to take some photos ahead of time so we could fully enjoy our cocktail hour with friends and family."
8.RELIEF: "Having a cash bar. This may be taboo, but we had a cash bar and I don't regret it. We paid for champagne, but the rest was a cash bar. My husband and I paid for the majority of the whole wedding ourselves, but I wasn't willing to shell out a ton of money to get everyone drunk."
New Line Cinema
9.REGRET: "Not hiring a videographer. I wish I had a videographer tape my wedding. I was so against having a video recorder getting in people’s faces or ruining the candidness of the evening. But now that people who attended my wedding have passed away, I wish I could see them on video."
10.REGRET: "Feeling the need to incorporate all the cliché wedding traditions. I regret feeling like we *had* to check all the silly 'American wedding' boxes like cake cutting, bouquet throwing, last dance, excessive family photos, etc. I wish we would have just adopted what we wanted to do and ignored the traditions that didn't resonate with us."
Spyglass Entertainment
11.RELIEF: "I didn't sweat the small stuff. Many people send way too much time stressing over small details like what color napkins to pick. I didn't do it, and I remember early in the process telling my wife-to-be that if anyone is talking about the chair covers, napkins or plates after our wedding then it wasn't a very good party."
12.REGRET: "Doing too many DIY projects leading up to the wedding. I did almost everything including my own make up, the cake, and the florals. I practiced and planned, but it made me so exhausted going into my big day. If you can afford it, I'd recommend hiring out any tasks that need to be done in the final days leading up to the wedding. In that same vein, take the day off before your wedding to decompress. Your wedding shouldn't break the bank, but don't compromise on things that are important to you."
13.RELIEF: "Hiring a photographer who captured our best moments. We hired a 'candid photographer' and took no photo shoots or the typical staged shots. It worked out great and I love how natural our photos came out."
Universal Pictures
14.REGRET: "Not asking people to put their phones away during the ceremony. I regret not asking our officiant to politely announce to our guests to refrain from taking photos of the ceremony. My wife and I have some awesome shots ruined by wedding guests sticking their heads and arms out into the aisle to take their own photos."
15.REGRET: "I wish I said no kids at my wedding. I gave in to several friends and allowed their children to attend my big day. They interrupted the ceremony, broke things at the reception, and made a mess. I should have stuck to my no-kids-allowed policy."
16.REGRET: "Hiring a bad photographer. At the end of the day, your photos are the only tangible thing you pay for. I wish I splurged on someone more professional."
17.REGRET: "Not having a small, destination wedding. Looking back on my wedding day, I wish I had a destination wedding with just a few family members. Not only would I have saved money, but we would have had fun with a small group of people we love."
18.RELIEF: "Eloping! My husband and I eloped and then had our honeymoon in Scotland and I regret nothing about it. We left our families at home, did the damn thing, and had a blast. I can't imagine being happy doing it the 'traditional' way when there are so many people trying to make your wedding day about them. Then you pay exorbitant amounts of money to throw a party you don’t even get to enjoy yourself. That wasn't for us, and I couldn't be happier with our decision."
—Anonymous
19.REGRET: "Inviting too many people. I would have whittled down the guest list to only the people we really wanted to be there. I wish we didn't invite some distant cousins and other random people just to make our parents happy. I've been married six years and there are some guests who I haven't seen since the wedding. Have who YOU want there."
NBC
20.REGRET: "Not staying true to my personality. I wish I didn't let people sway me from serving the wedding meal I wanted to serve. People told me that we couldn’t have a Taco Bell/ Chick-fil-A buffet because it 'isn't classy.' Unfortunately, I ended up backing away from what I really wanted because of the pressure from others."
21.REGRET: "Not eating the food I spent so much time picking out!!!!!"
22.REGRET: "The first dance. I personally wouldn't bother with the first dance — we did it anyway, but we're not dancers. It was really awkward."
23.RELIEF: "Making sure to eat and drink throughout the night. Everyone told me that I was going to be too busy to eat or drink on my wedding day so I asked the catering service to assign someone to follow us around. He made sure that I had a plate of food with me during the cocktail hour and that I always had a drink in my hand during the party. At the end of the night, he got me enough water so I could avoid waking up with a hangover."
24."REGRET: Letting my parents invite too many friends. In retrospect, I would have put a limit on the number of guests my parents were allowed to invite. Even with only 60 guests, at least half were friends of my parents. My mother felt she 'owed' these friends for attending the weddings of their kids over the years."
25.REGRET: "I regret spending so much on my dress. My parents paid for it and it was beautiful, but in retrospect feel like I could have bought a cheaper one and still had a great day. You only wear it once, after all."
26.REGRET: "Not changing out of my wedding shoes. I highly regret not changing out of my heels into something more comfortable. This was a big one for me. After dinner when the dancing started I was more than tipsy and having so much fun that i didn't think to change out of my heels. I was in so much pain when I woke up. My feet were numb and blistered and I limped around on my honeymoon for days."
27.RELIEF: "Having a rain plan. My wedding reception was outdoors under a tent, but the ceremony and cocktail hour were both completely outdoors. Not to mention there was no structure large enough to hold a whole wedding party at our venue I made sure that we had a back-up rain plan just in case and an extra tent on hold in case we had to use it for the ceremony. We ended up getting married on a day that was 75 and sunny, but it made me feel so much calmer going into my wedding knowing we had a plan for any weather."
28.RELIEF: "Thoroughly researching and vetting my photographer. You’ll most likely spend more one-on-one time with your photographer than any other vendor...and even most guests. All that is to say make sure you hire a photographer who you genuinely like. If you don’t click or they rub you the wrong way, that will make for a long, uncomfortable wedding day. It could even show on your face in your photos. Check their portfolio, make sure their style is what you like, but most importantly, make sure they’re someone you want to spend your entire wedding day with."
Revolution Studios
