Brach’s Mystery Candy Canes Are a Confusing Christmas Treat

Tim Nelson

By this time next week, we’ll have all forgotten Halloween even happened. Like clockwork, the Christmas products will hit store shelves on November 1, and we’ll go through the performative eyerolls and hand wringing over “Christmas creep” like we do every year.

Well, if you’re tired of that sense of predictability associated with the start of the holiday season, perhaps a box of mystery-flavored candy canes can (perhaps literally) spice things up a bit. Spotted by Instagram account @JunkFoodMom (a handle that seems a bit counterintuitive from my perspective), this Brach’s box contains twelve colorful candy canes seemingly divided into three distinct groupings of currently unknown flavors.

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New for the holidays from Brach’s Mystery flavored Candy Canes. Looks like 3 different flavors and the color of the canes do not have anything to do with the taste. 🤔 Are they holiday flavors? Are they weird flavors like broccoli or bologna? Nah- Brach’s is too classy for that. Only one way to find out.... I’m intrigued. 🎄🎄. #brachs #ferrara #brachscandycanes #candycanes #brachsmysterycandycanes #mysteryflavors #christmas #christmascandy #brachscandy #mystery #holidaycandy

A post shared by JunkFoodMom (@junkfoodmom) on Oct 29, 2019 at 11:25am PDT

In her caption, @JunkFoodMom speculates that “the color of the canes do not have anything to do with the taste,” wondering whether Brach’s flavors choices would include classic Christmas flavors or more weird and downright sadistic options like broccoli or bologna.

Meanwhile, the product listing for these mystery canes suggests that they could be fruity, sour, sweet, or salty. Given that Brach’s makes a ton of candy corn, don’t be shocked if everyone’s least favorite Halloween candy somehow gets in the mix. Regardless, I think I’ll be having nightmares about encountering a salty candy cane for the next two months. As if the pizza candy cane wasn’t a bad enough idea already.

Brach’s also says that “the rich colors will add a color pop to holiday decorations, but won’t give a way the surprise,” making these mystery candy canes a good way to work in some pastel colors to your holiday decorations if that’s a thing you feel inclined to do. And if you want to mess with friends, family, or coworkers, buying a box of these and somehow pawning them off as normal candy canes could make for some surprised if not downright disgusted reactions.

It looks like a box is currently available from Amazon for $14.99. But you can bet you’ll be seeing a lot more of them once the horrors of Halloween are behind us.