Boyfriend faces backlash after ‘snooping’ on his girlfriend’s work messages: ‘You’re being very controlling’

A man suspects his long-distance girlfriend is getting too flirty with her coworker.

He shared his story in Reddit’s “Am I the A******? (AITA)” forum. He discovered that his girlfriend frequently chatted with her coworker on the Teams app. He felt like the coworker was making a move on his girlfriend and that his girlfriend was allowing it. She, however, thought the Reddit poster was being unreasonable.

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“We are long-distance, together for 3 years,” he wrote. “She recently accepted a job in my city and is supposed to move here in 2 months. Recently I visited her in her city and I saw she was getting quite a lot of notifications from one of her new coworkers on work chat (Teams). I told her to be careful as she was playing fire and she dismissed me saying it is nothing.”

“She went running one afternoon and I followed my gut and read her Teams conversation with this coworker. They have known each other for barely more than a month and they have been speaking almost every day for the past week, about things not related to work. They joke around, he sends her GIFs and videos and she responds. They talk about music and food.”

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No matter how much he pled with his girlfriend, she didn’t believe he was being fair.

“After we had a huge fight about it and didn’t talk for 24 hours,” the Reddit poster explained. “He wrote to her again sending a stupid GIF and she still responded even though she knew it would hurt me. My trust is completely shattered. She thinks I am the a****** because (according to what she says) everyone at work knows she has a boyfriend (including him) and that she resigned and is moving to be with me, and she always talks about me. Too bad there is no proof of this on Teams.”

“I don’t care if he flirts with her, I care that she leaves the door open for him. She says he is just a social person and speaks with everyone in the office, and she hasn’t done anything in 3 years that made her deserve this lack of trust. She also keeps saying that she is leaving her friends and job to be with me and she wouldn’t do it if she wasn’t committed to the relationship, as if this gives her permission to do whatever she wants.”

Redditors thought the poster was overreacting.

“You’re snooping and insecure,” one person wrote.

“You’re being very controlling, invasive and possessive,” another commented.

“She’s not your property and should be able to make new friends at a new job without facing the inquisition at home,” a user said.

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