Books About Complicated Women to Read During Women's History Month
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While we’re all used to seeing (and trying to be) the shiny, unrealistic women we so often see in the media, most women know that the best stories about the female experience come from women who have overcome challenges, hardships and weathered storms.
In our own lives, we’re always turning to friends and family who have lived through tough times when we need advice for our own challenges. And if supporting those around you isn’t enough, we also hope you’ve learned about the multitude of female experiences in many ways, be it through watching complicated female characters on TV or by reading eye-opening books.
And, speaking of books, we think there’s no better way to understand the diaspora of female experiences than by reading some candid, thought-provoking and even tear-jerking memoirs. After all, there’s no better way to understand someone’s life than reading tell-all memoirs written entirely by them.
So, SheKnows partnered with Goodreads for a must-read list of female-written memoirs you should be adding to your book club shortlist. Among some of the titles on the list are Call You When I Land by Nikki Vargas, The Many Lives of Mama Love by Lara Love Hardin and Leslie F*cking Jones by none other than Leslie Jones herself.
To check out all the best memoirs from real women, keep scrolling!
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‘Splinters’ By Leslie Jamison
As women get older, they may get a series of new titles like mother, wife, boss, caretaker, and much more. In Splinters, Leslie Jamison dissects those identities and gives a candid reflection on what it means to be a woman.
“In her first memoir, Jamison turns her unrivaled powers of perception on some of the most intimate relationships of her life: her consuming love for her young daughter, a ruptured marriage once swollen with hope, and the shaping legacy of her own parents’ complicated bond,” the description reads.
'Splinters'
‘This American Ex-Wife’ By Lyz Lenz
In This American Ex-Wife, author Lyz Lenz flips the script on the idea that divorced women are sad, lonely, and have little left to live for. Instead, Lenz makes a point that divorced women like herself are getting their power back by signing the papers, and that divorce is actually quite different that the gloomy image we see so much in movies.
“Weaving reportage with sociological research and literature with popular culture along with personal stories of coming together and breaking up, Lenz creates a kaleidoscopic and poignant portrait of American marriage today,” the description reads.
'This American Ex-Wife'
‘Grief Is For People’ By Sloane Crosley
Written by Sloane Crosley, Grief Is For People is a unique memoir that follows the author as she reckons with the recent death of her closest friend.
In a search for greater guidance than just the unavoidable stages of grief, Crosley looks for answers in philosophy and art and reflects on what makes up a family and possession as New York City faces the staggering toll of the pandemic.
'Grief Is For People'
‘Whiskey Tender’ By Deborah Jackson Taffa
Growing up in the Navajo territory in New Mexico, mixed tribe native Deborah Jackson Taffa was told contradictory things. Much like her parents and grandparents, they were promised a better life, the “American Dream,” as long as they assimilated with society and let their traditions fade. But, with reality being quite different, Taffa grapples with who she is and who she wants to become as she grows older in Whiskey Tender.
“As she reflects on her past and present—the promise of assimilation and the many betrayals her family has suffered, both personal and historical; trauma passed down through generations—she reminds us of how the cultural narratives of her ancestors have been excluded from the central mythologies and structures of the ‘melting pot’ of America, revealing all that is sacrificed for the promise of acceptance,” the description reads.
'Whiskey Tender'
‘How to Say Babylon’ By Safiya Sinclair
How to Say Babylon by Safiya Sinclair tells the story of a young woman whose father, concerned with Babylon (the immoral and corrupting influences of the Western world outside their home), forbids almost everything from his family, from their clothes to their friends. With time, Safiya’s frustration begins to take form.
“Inevitably, with her rebellion comes clashes with her father, whose rage and paranoia explodes in increasing violence,” the description reads. “As Safiya’s voice grows, lyrically and poetically, a collision course is set between them.”
'How to Say Babylon'
‘You Could Make This Place Beautiful’ By Maggie Smith
Similar to This American Ex-Wife, You Could Make This Place Beautiful by poet Maggie Smith follows a woman’s deep and thought-provoking reflections following a breakup and the role she now has in society.
“The book begins with one woman’s personal heartbreak, but its circles widen into a reckoning with contemporary womanhood, traditional gender roles, and the power dynamics that persist even in many progressive homes,” the description reads.
'You Could Make This Place Beautiful'
‘My Side of the River’ by Elizabeth Camarillo Gutierrez
When Elizabeth Camarillo Gutierrez was ready to enter her freshman year of high school in Arizona, her Mexican-born parents were deported from the country and forced to return to their home country. With only herself to make a living, and a younger brother to support, Gutierrez found an inspiring and unbelievable sense of strength as she became a so-called “unaccompanied homeless youth.”
“My Side of the River explores separation, generational trauma, and the toll of the American dream,” the description reads. “It’s also, at its core, a love story between a brother and a sister who, no matter the cost, is determined to make the pursuit of her brother’s dreams easier than it was for her.”
'My Side of the River'
‘Call You When I Land’ By Nikki Vargas
The touching memoir Call You When I Land by Nikki Vargas tells the story of a 26-year-old advertising agent who, after getting a freelance writing assignment abroad, begins to question everything about her seemingly perfect life.
“Taking her from the street food stalls of Vietnam to the cascading waterfalls of Argentina, Nikki uncovers shocking truths about her family, comes face to face with a new love interest—or two—and ultimately turns a no-name blog into the internationally celebrated venture of Unearth Women, the first major female-focused travel publication,” the description reads.
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‘Everyone But Myself’ By Julie Chavez
Everyone But Myself by Julie Chavez tells the candid and filter-free retelling of one woman’s experience dealing with anxiety and panic attacks while being spread too thin as a mom, wife and friend.
“What follows is a hopeful, honest account of love and loss, a husband who can’t read minds, disastrous family outings, and finding a path (with help from loved ones and a few key new friends) to the joy of a well-lived life,” the description reads.
'Everyone But Myself'
‘The Many Lives of Mama Love’ By Lara Love Hardin
The Many Lives of Mama Love by Lara Love Hardin was not only a Goodreads-selected read, but it was Oprah Winfrey’s latest book club selection too.
In her announcement, Winfrey highlighted what the eye-opening memoir is all about. “She was a suburban cul-de-sac mom, ended up being an opioid addict turned heroin addict, started stealing from her neighbors, ended up in jail, comes out, writes this incredible book about redemption, about joy, about hope, about claiming yourself and what you rightly deserve,” the TV personality detailed.
'The Many Lives of Mama Love'
‘While You Were Out’ By Meg Kissinger
In While You Were Out by Meg Kissinger, the author takes a deep dive into the American mental health crisis by looking at her own family’s mental health struggles and tragedies over the years.
“Combining the intimacy of memoir with the rigor of investigative reporting, the book explores the consequences of shame, the havoc of botched public policy, and the hope offered by new treatment strategies,” the description adds.
'While You Were Out'
‘Leslie F*cking Jones’ By Leslie Jones
If you’re a fan of comedian and actress Leslie Jones, then her best-selling memoir, Leslie F*cking Jones, might be your next book! In the memoir, Jones opens up about her life, from her childhood to her rise to stardom.
“Whether I’m talking about my childhood growing up in the South, my early stand-up days driving from gig to gig through the darkest parts of our country and praying I wouldn’t get murdered, what Chris Rock told Lorne Michaels, that time I wanted to shoot Whoopi Goldberg on SNL, and yeah, I’ll tell you all about Ghostbusters and the nudes and Supermarket Sweep and The Daily Show . . . I’m sharing it all on these pages,” Jones writes in the description.
'Leslie F*cking Jones'
‘Strong Female Character’ By Fern Brady
Fern Brady was 34 years old when she was finally diagnosed with autism, a disorder that she thought about ever since she was a young girl.
In Strong Female Character, the comedian looks back at all those undiagnosed years and shares details about her highs and lows as well as breaking down why women are so often misdiagnosed until their adulthood. “In a memoir as hilarious as it is heartbreaking, Fern leaves no stone unturned while detailing her futile attempts at employment, her increasingly destructive coping mechanisms, and the meltdowns that left her mind (and apartment) in ruins,” the description reads.
'Strong Female Character'
‘The Night Parade’ By Jami Nakamura Lin
In another memoir that candidly talks about mental health, The Night Parade by Jami Nakamura Lin tells the story of a young woman who struggles with undiagnosed bipolar disorder growing up. Her struggles get worsened, of course, when her father is diagnosed with cancer and begins to give her life a whole new meaning.
At the time, she begins to find comfort in the stories of ghostly creatures from Japanese, Taiwanese, and Okinawan cultures, something that weaves through her memoir seamlessly.
“Braiding her experience of mental illness, the death of her father, the grieving process, and other haunted topics with storytelling tradition, Jami Nakamura Lin shines a light into dark corners, driven by a question: How do we learn to live with the things that haunt us?” the description reads.
'The Night Parade'
‘First Gen’ By Alejandra Campoverdi
In First Gen, former White House aide to President Obama and former candidate for U.S. Congress Alejandra Campoverdi peels back the layers of “making it” in the United States and fulfilling the beloved “American Dream.”
“Foregoing the tidy bullet points of her resume and instead shining a light on the spaces between them, what emerges is a powerful testimony that shatters the one-dimensional glossy narrative we are often sold of what it takes to achieve the American Dream,” the description reads.
'First Gen'
‘Sure, I’ll Join Your Cult’ By Maria Bamford
Told in a thoroughly funny way, Maria Bamford’s memoir Sure, I’ll Join Your Cult follows her personal journey of feeling like she’ll never fit in, despite always wanting to. As a result, she highlights all the “cults,” fellowships and trains of thought she joined over the years.
“With sincerity and transparency, she recounts every anonymous fellowship she has joined (including but not limited to: Debtors Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, and Overeaters Anonymous), every hypomanic episode (from worrying about selling out under capitalism to enforcing union rules on her Netflix TV show set to protect her health), and every easy 1-to-3-step recipe for fudge in between,” the description reads.
