Black People In Interracial Relationships Are Sharing The Rude And Ignorant Things People Say To Them, And I'm Fuming
Though interracial relationships have been around forever, people will still — even in 2023! — come up and say the rudest stuff.
NBC
So, we recently asked Black people in interracial relationships within the BuzzFeed Community to tell us what they're tired of hearing all the time. Here's what they had to say:
1."'You two are going to have beautiful babies!' While I do believe we will have beautiful children, it’s not because I’m Black, and he’s white. Not all mixed babies are cute, so it’s stupid to assume that just because we’re an interracial couple. Plus, all people really are saying when they say that is 'Your kids are going to be beautiful because they have something besides Black in them, and they’ll most likely be light-skinned.' And that crap is for the birds."
The Paley Center for Media
2."I hate when people always ask us if we are together: in line at the grocery store, at a restaurant, at a movie theater, etc. I am Black, and my wife of 30 years is white. Sitting down to eat, the waiter usually asks, 'Are these going to be separate bills?' My wife, who is very cool, always says, 'No, I think my husband can afford to pay for both of us.'"
—Anonymous
Facebook Watch
3."Please stop asking me if my child is mine or if I am the nanny. I am Black, and my husband is Polish (white). My daughter is really light with a slightly tanned complexion, while I am at the opposite end of the spectrum. I don’t care how light she is or how brown I am, I wish people would mind their business and keep their questions to themselves."
"My daughter is four years old, so when you hear her call me mom, don’t be an idiot and still ask if she’s my daughter or if I do other nanny work on the side. It’s ignorant and ridiculous. If you need a nanny, go find one on the many websites that offer those services, and leave me alone."
—Anonymous
Bounce TV
4."As a Black man with a white woman, I hear all the time that I only like white women because they're 'subservient.' When all the while, I'm really for a woman who makes me feel loved and wanted! She could be green for all I care, as long as we both have love for each other and are willing to compromise together. I'm a happy Black man!"
—Anonymous
5."I am a Black woman with a white boyfriend, and I am tired of people asking if he has ever called me the N-word while arguing. NO!"
—Anonymous
6."For me, it’s the assumption from other Black people that I am self-hating/racist. Or that he can’t understand what it is to be Black — which is true — but my husband validates my feelings when something racial happens and has my back. He doesn’t have to go through something to have empathy. It’s a ridiculous argument because women in the USA have struggles, but no one asks why they marry men (who haven’t walked in their shoes).
—jsha
NBC
7."I'm Black, and my husband is white. I get people asking if I married him because he has money. No, I married him because I love him, and he loves me."
—Anonymous
ABC
8."As a Black woman married to a white man with two biracial children, I am tired of people asking me why I don't like Black men. I find many Black men attractive, but the few I've been in a relationship with never treated me right, and that has nothing to do with race. Some people are just assholes, and that's personality, not race. My husband came along at a time in my life when I was single, and he treated me the way I should be treated, so I fell in love. It's that simple."
"Race had nothing to do with it, and if I had been one of those people that instantly decides they would never date this race or that race, then I would have missed out on the best thing that ever happened to me. We've been married over 22 years and been together almost 30. He treats me like a queen still to this day, and I wouldn't have it any other way."
—Anonymous
Fox
9."As a Black/Latino mixed person with a Caucasian spouse, I find that I often get comments from folks across the spectrum. From my BIPOC folks, I often get flack or asked how I handle my wife 'not understanding me' because of our different racial backgrounds. From Caucasian folks, I often get immediately written off at face value, and it’s only after explaining that my wife and I went to the same elite private university and that we have similar white-collar jobs that I am thought of as my wife’s equal."
"Personally, I don’t pay much attention to situations like this, but it bothers my wife deeply and makes her upset that people behave this way. I wish people would recognize that while race/ethnic background is an important facet of every individual, it isn’t their only defining feature. Love, relationships, and partnerships are built on so much more than race/ethnic backgrounds."
—Anonymous
Facebook Watch
10."I'm Black, and my husband is white. I'm mostly tired of people asking things like 'Did his parents have a heart attack when they found out you were Black?'"
—Anonymous
11."I am Black, and my husband is Asian. People have assumed that I was from Brazil or the Caribbean; I couldn’t possibly be from America. People would always ask, 'Where are you from?' and wouldn’t quite accept my answer of Pennsylvania. They insinuated I needed my husband to get a green card in order to have a better life."
—Anonymous
12."I am a Black man, and my fiancé is a half-Dominican, half-Dutch woman. I am tired of hearing that because I am not with a Black woman, my opinion on what happens in the Black community isn't valid."
—Anonymous
13."'Oh!' I never thought I would hate a two-letter word! Every time I (a Black woman) introduce my husband (a white man) or vice-versa, before even hearing 'nice to meet you,' I hear 'Oh!' Drives me up a wall!"
—Anonymous
ABC
14."I'm Jamaican and Uruguayan, and my husband is French and Italian. I'm lucky that where I live is very diverse so we're not an uncommon sight, but people suck nonetheless. I'm over the discussions of my children's skin color and how they're 'lucky' they look ambiguous enough to not be 'considered Black.' Also, I'm sick of the jokes about my husband needing a DNA test because our kids don't have blond hair and blue eyes."
—Anonymous
ABC
15."I’m a Black woman married to a white man. Many Black people assume I don't love myself, which couldn’t be further from the truth."
Bravo
16."As a Black man, I hate being called a 'sell out.' Married to a hapa (Native Hawaiian and white) woman, twenty-five years strong."
—Anonymous
17.And finally, "I have been out with my husband (who is white) and had random Black men come up to me while my husband was in the bathroom and ask if I’m okay and if I need help. As if I’m being held against my will or kidnapped by this white man!"
—Anonymous
Columbia
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