27 of the Best Self-Help Books of a Generation

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Whether you are staring down a small, knotty problem or a big, confounding setback, we’ve sifted through the past 30 years of bestselling advice to find the most useful guidance. The list includes self-help books (of course), as well as those from the memoir, academic, and business categories—full of useful tips, smart strategies, and unexpected support. No matter which ones you pick up, you’ll find ideas that might just crack open a problem and offer a glimpse of a brighter, more fulfilling future.

When Things Fall Apart, by Pema Chödrön

“The most precious opportunity presents itself when we come to a place where we think we can't handle what's happening,” Pema Chödrön writes. If, in that moment, you can train yourself to open up instead of shutting down, Chödrön continues, "you open yourself up to infinite possibilities.” This book offers a master class on how to do that—and how to make more room in our hearts rather than shrinking away.

Atomic Habits, by James Clear

In 2018, it felt as if everyone was recommending this guide to forming strong, healthy habits. The author calls for a rethinking of why we fail to achieve goals and offers doable strategies to effect meaningful change. "Making a choice that is 1 percent better or 1 percent worse seems insignificant in the moment,” he writes, “but over the span of moments that make up a lifetime these choices determine the difference between who you are and who you could be."

The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman

A book for anyone who's in love but not in sync, this guide lays out the different ways we express affection toward one another. As Gary Chapman explains, some of us use words; others value touch, gifts, considerate actions, or quality time. The secret to a lasting relationship is to understand each other's vocabulary. Couples across the country say this concept brought their marriages back from the brink of divorce, teaching them to recognize how (and when) their partner is saying what means the most.

Mindset, by Carol S. Dweck, PhD

For a long time, experts believed the way we saw the world was established early on, but Stanford University psychologist Carol S. Dweck demonstrated in this book that the way we think about our talents has a huge effect on our lives. Those with a “growth mindset,” she explains, believe that they can improve their abilities and are more resilient and successful than those who believe their talents are fixed. A groundbreaking idea at the time, it’s no less relevant for anyone who today feels stuck.

The Conscious Parent, by Shefali Tsabary, PhD

This clinical psychologist believes that traditional methods of parenting and disciplining are broken, not to mention frustrating and exhausting for everyone involved. In this book, Shefali Tsabary describes ways the parenting journey can be done “consciously,” with a hands-on, fully present approach to child-raising that will help any family thrive.

Forgiveness, by Iyanla Vanzant

Oprah says forgiveness is "giving up the hope that the past could have been any different." It’s a difficult task, letting go of old grudges and situations holding you prisoner, but Iyanla Vanzant offers a straightforward, 21-day guide for forgiving anyone who may have hurt you, whether it was a parent, a spouse, a sibling, a friend, or a boss. Is it easy? No. Is life brighter on the other side? Why, yes, it is.

Hidden Potential, by Adam Grant

It turns out everything you thought you knew about achieving greatness is wrong. “Potential is not a matter of where you start, but of how far you travel,” writes psychologist and professor Adam Grant. He debunks widely accepted theories around success—namely, that greatness is something you are born with. His research shows that character traits such as resilience and discipline are a far greater indicator of future achievement than raw talent, and he shares ways “we can all improve at improving.”

The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho

“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”—that’s one of Oprah’s favorite quotes from this parable about a young shepherd boy who sets out on a journey after a vision. Translated into 80 languages, the allegory teaches us about dreams, destiny, and the reason we are all here.

Life Visioning, by Michael Bernard Beckwith

This is a step-by-step "visioning" process filled with insights and meditations to help readers accelerate their own spiritual evolution. In each chapter, motivational speaker Michael Bernard Beckwith introduces methods of deep inquiry, as well as key daily practices. As he writes: “Your potential is always bigger than whatever problem you’re going through.”

A Beginner's Guide to the End, by BJ Miller, MD, and Shoshana Berger

This thoughtful plan for approaching the end of life was written by a hospice and palliative care specialist who wants everyone to remember that dying people are still living. Death is sacred and unknowable, true, but dying is the final moments of a life—a potent essential and concentrated part of life. A guide that will be enlightening to those who see the end and those who would accompany them.

How Can I Get Through to You?, by Terrence Real

One of the most gifted couples therapists in the country, Terrence Real takes sides and takes charge. He says the most crucial thing to get through relationship challenges is a willingness to see what’s in front of you and to shift if what you’re doing isn’t working.

The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz

This spiritual teacher suggests four agreements to guide one’s behavior, but he says the first is perhaps the most important: “Be impeccable with your word.” It requires more than simply doing what you say you will—it’s about avoiding gossip, breaking promises, or giving only passing attention. “When you're impeccable with your word,” Don Miguel Ruiz writes, “you never betray yourself.”

The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin

A graduate of Yale Law School, Gretchen Rubin spent a year doing scientific research and practical projects to discover how to lead a happier life, an experiment that led to this book. Her eight personal rules of happiness are realistic and doable; a guide for the pragmatists among us.

Emotional Intelligence, by Daniel Goleman

Daniel Goleman’s research changed what it means to be really smart—it’s not all IQ, but also involves EQ. Harvard Business Review called EQ “a paradigm-shattering idea.” Goleman explains how people can sharpen their emotional intelligence to improve their relationships, their work and leadership, and, perhaps most important, their capacity for empathy.

The Way of Integrity, by Martha Beck

So many of us believe we’re humans of integrity, but this book nudges us to consider the moments when we fall out of alignment with our truth—the little white lies, the half-listened-to conversations, the choices to avoid rocking the boat. Living in integrity doesn’t make for an easier life, Martha Beck admits, but it allows us to live in peace. And peace is really our home.

Build the Life You Want, by Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey

During Covid, Oprah discovered Arthur C. Brooks’s “How to Build a Life” column in The Atlantic. After many conversations, the two decided to work together on a “blueprint for a better life.” The book offers a research-based plan that meets the reader wherever they are and explains how to make finding happiness a choice, no matter how challenging the circumstances.

Set Boundaries, Find Peace, by Nedra Glover Tawwab

Author and therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab says that if you’re in the middle of a difficult, hurtful, or baffling relationship, a beautiful question to ask is “Why am I in this?” If the answer is “Because it’s my mother, father, cousin, longtime friend”—in other words, a label—know that is not enough of a reason to stay. “We don't naturally fall into perfect relationships,” says Tawwab. “We create them.” This book is about how to do exactly that.

The Book of Awakening, by Mark Nepo

A year's supply of reflections—lyrical, evocative, truthful—provide gentle daily wake-up calls. Like most of us, Mark Nepo has thought a lot about the meaning of life, but because he is a poet, a philosopher, and a cancer survivor, his insights are unique and beautifully expressed. Oprah calls it “a book to be kept on the nightstand at all times.”

The Untethered Soul, by Michael A. Singer

Michael A. Singer focuses on the inward journey, offering ways to avoid our own self-imposed limitations: “To attain true inner freedom, you must be able to objectively watch your problems instead of being lost in them.... Once you've made the commitment to free yourself of the scared person inside, you will notice that there is a clear decision point at which your growth takes place.”

A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle

“I don’t think there’s anything more important than awakening and also knowing what your purpose is,” says Oprah, who first discovered Eckhart Tolle when Meg Ryan and Ellen DeGeneres each gave her a copy of his earlier book, The Power of Now. When this book was published, Oprah found it so groundbreaking—“a humanist manifesto that's become a touchstone for me”—that, in 2008, she and Tolle hosted a weeks-long online series devoted to its principles of how we are ready to transcend ego in favor of a higher form of consciousness.

Broken Open, by Elizabeth Lesser

How do we open ourselves up to life's joy and the heart's peace? Elizabeth Lesser has been helping answer this question for years. Her message is simple and profound: "When we slow down, quiet the mind, and allow ourselves to feel hungry for something that we do not understand, we are dipping into the abundant well of spiritual longing." That, it turns out, is the starting point for growth.

The Gifts of Imperfection, by Brené Brown

Three things are needed for "a wholehearted life," says Brené Brown. Courage (the ordinary not heroic kind), compassion (the heart of which is acceptance), and connection (“the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued”). Achieving all three sounds easier than it actually is, but Brown makes the case for why the hard work is worth it and why the gift is its own reward.

What Happened to You?, by Bruce D. Perry, MD, PhD, and Oprah Winfrey

Oprah says that her hope for this book was that it would help people heal from their childhood traumas. Each person’s past "is an explanation—offering insight into the questions so many of us ask ourselves: Why do I behave the way I behave? Why do I feel the way I do?” she writes. Combining research and advice, this book suggests the ways each of us can choose a different future.

Tiny Beautiful Things, by Cheryl Strayed

While working on her bestselling memoir Wild, Cheryl Strayed wrote an advice column, using the pen name Sugar. It was at once riveting and groundbreaking (lengthy, brutally honest, incorporating her own life experience). Now gathered in this collection, the columns offer compassion, empathy, and advice on the tiny beautiful things we all deserve.

The State of Affairs, by Esther Perel

After a decade helping hundreds of couples deal with the fallout of an affair, Perel suggested a reevaluation of the topic. An affair can be heartbreaking—no argument on that—but it can teach us invaluable lessons about our deepest desires. In this book, she explores the ways it can sometimes lead to a stronger union.

The Seat of the Soul, by Gary Zukav

Gary Zukav introduces the principle that every action, thought, and feeling is motivated by an intention. For instance, are you saying yes to a donation because you want to support this cause or because a friend asked…and you feel guilty? “The concept of intention changed everything about how I lived my life,” Oprah has said. It might shift the way you think about decisions—your own and others’.

Ageless Body, Timeless Mind, by Deepak Chopra

In 1993, Oprah first invited Deepak Chopra on The Oprah Winfrey Show to discuss the mind-body connection. Their conversations over the years have consistently circled back to the power of the mind, particularly how meditation can quiet our thoughts and open us to greater possibilities of whole health and spiritual expansion.

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