All the (ahem) buzz about the best options on the market.
You're starting to get awfully scraggly, my guy. Sure, I'll buy that winter is supposed to be the time of year you get to "let loose" and "experiment a bit" but, dude, that's no excuse to look like a neanderthal with particularly poor hygiene habits. You're like the punchline of one of those "what you actually look like" memes made sentient, where the first picture is a conventionally handsome movie star sporting perfectly maintained stubble and the second picture is your half-shaved face smiling creepily back at me like you're the type of guy I should worry about keeping my future kids away from. Tighten that shit up.
If sheer effort is an issue, invest in an electric shaver and call it a day. Electric shavers are for optimizing your grooming routine, and you're all about "optimization," aren't you? You want to live the most optimized version of your life, right?! You don't want any part of your day to be non-optimized, do you?!?!
Ah, I'm sorry about that. Optimization really gets me going. Buying an electric shaver is the absolute best way to ensure you don't get memed by some impudent young whippersnapper at work. One day you'll be confidently striding into the old 9-to-5 completely secure in your facial hair choices and the next the entire office will be laughing at a poorly-photoshopped image of your mean mug alongside George Clooney's. Take it from me man, you don't want to be memed. Buy the damn shaver.