A Beginner's Guide to Golden Showers and Piss Play Fetishes

Everything you need to know about piss play, including why people like this particular kink to how to do a golden shower safely.

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While to some, golden showers are the butt of a Donald Trump joke, to others, they are an extremely erotic experience. Golden showers are one form of piss play, which is exactly what it sounds like: sexual play involving piss. Though they may seem easy to make fun of because most of us grew up with bathroom humor, we should probably be nicer when it comes to the topic of golden showers because a lot of people are into them, and kink-shaming isn't cool.

Some people engage in golden showers as part of BDSM. BDSM involves a power exchange in which one partner is submissive and the other partner is dominant. In this particular scenario, the dominant partner typically pees on the submissive. Other people just try them out because they're horny and bored. Let's talk about all the reasons people love golden showers and what you should know if you're interested in trying out this particular kink.

How common is having interest in golden showers?

This particular kink is actually incredibly ordinary, according to the experts. "Urophilia — golden showers, piss play, and the like — is such a common kink that there are piss parties full of folks who want to explore this," says New York sex therapist and relationship counselor Michael DeMarco. New York City-based professional and lifestyle dominatrix Goddess Aviva adds, "It’s so common! People love to be peed on. And quite a few of them also like to drink it." In fact, an Australian survey says that around four percent of men have a piss play fetish, and Pornhub stats show that searches for "golden shower" (along with related terms) increased exponentially in 2017 after it was alleged that Donald Trump enjoyed watersports.

There are also quite a few online communities for folks to go who are interested in golden showers. In fact, the "watersports" (another name for piss play) group on the kinky social media website FetLife boasts over 25,000 members. Additionally, there are dating apps and websites specifically tailored to folks looking to find other kinky people to hook up with, including KinkD, BDSM.com, Fetster.com, and more.

Urine is sterile, right? So, are golden showers safe?

Any time you are exchanging bodily fluids, there is going to be some risk. According to Kimberly Langdon, an OB/GYN and clinical advisor at Medzino Health, it's only true that urine is sterile if the person peeing is completely healthy. "Urine can spread disease, including bacterial, fungal, and viral infections," she explains. During a golden shower, this most commonly occurs if the recipient has an open wound.

"Regarding skin contact, urine will usually cause no harm if there are no fissures, broken skin or open wounds," Langdon adds. "If this is, however, the case, then urine can cause infection if the partner urinating has a bacterial infection and the urine comes into contact with wounds and mucous membranes."

So, if you're enjoying golden showers with someone whose health status you are unsure of, make sure there are no open wounds on you, and ask them to aim somewhere besides the mouth, such as on your stomach. Discuss your health with your partner; professional dominatrixes are already on it.

"With anything where you're sharing bodily fluid, you need to make sure that you’re not sick or have any kind of infection. It’s also really important to hydrate. The other factor that you should consider, is how close you are to someone’s mouth. A way to avoid that is to be above them," Goddess Aviva says.

OK, so how do I properly give (or get) a golden shower?

First off, the person performing the golden shower will probably want to drink a lot of water an hour or so beforehand. Like, a lot. It's also important to pick the right place — golden showers probably shouldn't take place in your bed. "If you’re curious about golden showers, an easy way to do it is to be in the shower or bath. And if you’re not really into it, you can rinse it off right away," Goddess Aviva says.

Once you've figured out where it's going to happen (and who it's going to happen with), make sure that all parties know what the plan is and are fully consenting. Consent is the most important part of any sex act, after all. Have everything you want for clean-up nearby, and everyone should have a safe word ready, too.

Remember what we've discussed above — that urine isn't sterile, and that the person receiving the golden shower shouldn't have any open cuts or sores. If this checks out, then you're good to go, but be patient, especially if it's the first time trying this for either of you. Lastly, when you're all done, clean off, and if you feel like it, keep the fun going.

What else should I know if I want to try it?

Other than clean-up and potential risks from fluid exchange, should this be something you want to try, you just have to make peace with your desire to try giving or receiving a golden shower and then discuss it with your partner(s) so you can experience one from a place of mutual enthusiastic consent.

"Owning your sexual expression from the get-go will put you on more solid ground once you're in a relationship to be able to have awkward or challenging talks about sexuality and how your sexual expression might evolve," Langdon says. Now that you know all about piss play, there's only one thing left to do if you want to try it for yourself — go find a partner who is into it, too. Happy kink month, babes.


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Originally Appeared on Allure