In the Battle Between a Pushy Aunt's Itchy Sweaters & a Boy's Sensory Issues, Who Should Win?

Kristi Pahr
·4 min read
2

One thing is pretty much universally true about parents — we’re all just trying to do our best. Sometimes it’s hard and sometimes it’s not and sometimes we have to make decisions that other people don’t agree with all in the name of doing what’s best for our kids. One Reddit mom was in just this situation and came to the subreddit AITA for some perspective.

“So my youngest is 6, and he has sensory issues. He has many issues with clothes. Can’t wear certain fabrics, can’t stand socks, even needs special underwear and would go around naked if he could,” wrote Redditor Affectionate-City859. “SIL (sister-in-law) has always been into knitting sweaters and gives them as gifts. She has also gifted clothes to the kids before. We explained many times about our son and my husband has said while we appreciate the gifts, he can’t wear them without being driven crazy.”

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Seems pretty reasonable to us. Simple, even. SIL though seems to disagree.

“So she was looking through some photos while she was here last weekend (my husband was working) and she commented that none of the holidays pictures had him in the sweater and that he never wears the clothes she buys. I was a little frustrated by tried to explain it as easily as I could,” Affectionate-City wrote. “She then told me she had something for him, pulls out a pair of space socks and says they would be perfect for him and his interest in space. I told her he couldn’t wear them and they drive him crazy.”

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But wait, there’s more!

“She told me we cater too much to him, that he should be made wear what people buy and make for him and I’m not being a good parent letting him go through life rejecting clothes,” she wrote. “I lost it. I told her that if I’m a bad mother then she’s a shitty person for judging me when all I’m doing is my best and for pushing constantly to get her way. I told her we had explained things as clearly as we possibly could and we have been over this for over three years now and she’s still not willing to open her mind to the possibility that we’re all just doing our best. She told me good parents help their kids be better than rejecting shit and I told her to take her kids and leave because she was not welcome in my home anymore.”

It certainly seems like putting your kid’s needs ahead of your bossy, overbearing sister-in-law’s needs, especially when it comes to your kid’s sensory needs, makes you a good parent and most commenters agree.

“Thanks for standing up for your kid’s sensory issues. I didn’t have that growing up and I can still feel awful tights on my legs, scratchy dresses, non-stretch pants… Ugh,” wrote Jayne D-oh. “I’m 35 and I buy my favorite clothes in multiples because they feel good. You can tell your SIL to go to hell and forcing people with sensory issues go wear certain clothes is a special kind of hell in itself.”

One Redditor went to the trouble of explaining what it feels like to them. “Another way I sometimes explain it is that you’re just missing the part of your brain that makes an itchy shirt tag fade away into the background,” wrote Stephowl. “The ‘oh, you’ll get used to it’ function just short circuits. Instead of fading down to background noise it works like sandpaper, rubbing you rawer and rawer and rawer until it’s searing through your whole brain and you’re just in agony.”

Not exactly the kind of thing a good parent would want their 6-year-old to go through, you know?

“After being told on previous occasions of your [son’s] sensory issues, it seems a bit disrespectful of her to ignore said issues to continue gifting clothing that your son can’t wear,” said Heeseol. “She especially has no right to get angry, invalidate your son’s sensory issues, and call you a bad parent for being understanding and accommodating to him.”

Commenter Nice_Algae_8333 summed it up perfectly: “SIL sucks chicken butts and you can tell them I said that.”

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