How Barack and Michelle Obama Worked on Their Marriage After Leaving the White House
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In his newly released memoir, A Promised Land, former president Barack Obama revealed how being in the White House strained his marriage with his wife, Michelle Obama. Now, in a new interview with People, Barack further discussed the stress that Michelle was under and how the two reconciled after leaving the White House.
According to Barack, his marriage troubles were "the truth of our time in the White House," adding that "Michelle very much believed in the work I did but was less optimistic about what I could get done." He also told the outlet, "She's more skeptical about politics and more mindful of the sacrifices to the family."
While the former First Lady was more cognizant of the familial and political stressors, Barack said, "I tend to be 'uh, that'll be fine,' and I worry a little bit less, just temperamentally."
Still, the former president said that their relationship survived the eight years in the White House. "I think we came out of it whole. There were great joys in the White House," he said. "There was never a time where we didn't recognize what an extraordinary privilege it was to be there. Most importantly, our children emerged intact and they are wonderful, kind, thoughtful, creative—and not entitled —young women. So that's a big sigh of relief."
Even so, he continued, he knew things needed to be put back on the right track between him and Michelle. "But, during the time we were there, Michelle felt this underlying tension," he said. "The pressure, stress, of needing to get everything right, to be 'on' at every moment. ... There were times where I think she was frustrated or sad or angry but knew that I had Afghanistan or the financial crisis to worry about, so she would tamp it down."
Things got better once his two terms came to a close. "It was like a big exhale right after we left office," he said. "It took some time to talk about how she had felt. … Once [the presidency] was done, there was possibility of her opening up ... but more importantly just her being able to let out a breath and relax."
He continued, "You know the old adage, 'If mom's happy, everybody's happy'? It very much applies in our household."
Going further, he revealed that Michelle "has been more relaxed and more joyful since we left office," and "that allowed us to just enjoy the deep love that comes with a marriage this long. But also to be friends again."
Daughters Malia and Sasha Obama, now both college students, are also able to relax. "Now that [our daughters] have turned out pretty good," Barack said, he and his wife can "laugh and goof off and have more time with each other."
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