The Bachelorette Season 16, Episode 9, Recap: The Problem With Bennett

Trigger warning: The following contains language that may be triggering to people who've experienced suicidal thoughts or disordered eating.

Last week's episode of The Bachelorette was a watershed moment for the franchise. Not to sound too much like Bennett, but all four signs of emotional intelligence were there. Conversations about disordered eating and addiction—two topics rarely discussed on the show, and never this openly—were met without judgment. It felt like everyone, finally, was here for the right reasons. 

This week we open with Tayshia asking suspiciously, “What's in the box????” as two grown men throw petty jabs at each other. Look, you take the highs and the lows.

Bennett thinks Noah isn't ready for marriage; Noah thinks Bennett is condescending. They're both right, but are so fucking annoying that it doesn't matter. Tayshia pointedly tells them all the bickering is a turn-off, and they still keep making more muck than Hayley Fitzgerald in a courtroom. 

Ultimately, Tayshia sends Bennett home. “Is this really goodbye?” he asks, genuinely confused. “Holy cow.” It strikes me this might be the first real rejection the Harvard grad has ever experienced. 

Noah isn't any better. When Tayshia returns, he's smirking. “No, don't be smiling,” she scolds. “That wasn't a victory for you by any means.” He doesn't get a rose, either, but he is allowed to stay. To this, Noah surmises that Bennett must have “gotten” to Tayshia, because that's easier than considering his own behavior might be unappealing. 

And yet! Somehow Tayshia gives him a rose at the ceremony just a few hours later. I see no lessons will be learned tonight. Also staying: Zac, Brendan, Ben, Riley, Blake, and Ivan. (Goodbye, Ed, Demar, and Spencer!) 

That means only seven dudes are left, and it's time to get serious because “hometown visits” are on the horizon. They'll look a little different this season—this time the families will be traveling to the La Quinta Resort to join the bubble—but it still signifies that these relationships are now really, truly on the marriage track. 

And the first one-on-one date in this new chapter goes to Ben, our Vulnerable King. JoJo set up a scavenger hunt for him and Tayshia, which is pretty uneventful except for the part where Ben takes his pants off to get in the pool. I swear it's the most excited we've seen Tayshia all season. 

It's nice to see them having fun. Last week Ben blew Bachelor Nation away with his powerful reveal that he's struggled with disordered eating; this week he goes even deeper. We learn that the last two years in particular have been difficult for Ben. He left the Army after a life-changing back injury. Living in a city he couldn't afford and trying to navigate a career change, he felt lost and in a dark place. He attempted suicide—twice. 

“I didn’t want to be here anymore, and I didn’t want to burden anybody with my problems,” he tells Tayshia. “I thought the easiest thing was just to not be around.” Now, through “very intentional and aggressive" therapy, Ben is in a much different place.  

Damn. I find myself saying this every week, but here we go again: The Bachelorette has a massive platform. So it's incredibly impactful and important anytime there's a progressive moment. Millions of viewers will watch Ben discuss mental health, and Tayshia loving support him. Any step forward toward removing outdated notions that talking about mental health is shameful, taboo, or not “manly” enough is a good thing. Do I wish Ben had to lay bare his emotional trauma every week in order to achieve this? Hell no. I want the world for him—even if that includes listening to a C-list country singer with Tayshia in the desert. Ben gets the date rose, luckily. My heart couldn't handle otherwise. 

The next day's group date uses a tactic Love Island U.K. fans will know well: the polygraph test. On that reality show the answers to leading questions almost always end in massive tears and at least one breakup. The Bachelorette's version is much tamer, but truths are still revealed. 

The highlights: Tayshia is falling in love with more than one man; Ivan has apparently been aroused while around her; Noah lies when he says a woman has never faked an orgasm with him; Brendan might not be ready to meet Tayshia's family; Zac has cheated before, but he's falling in love with Tayshia; and Riley lies about his name? 

At the after-party Tayshia confronts Zac about the cheating. It's why her first marriage ended, so she's understandably concerned. Zac reveals that it happened in the sixth grade—he was technically still with his first girlfriend when he French-kissed another girl behind the bowling alley. It's a bit suspect that Zac has found the only acceptable explanation for “Yes, I've cheated,” but I'll choose to go with it. Tayshia does too. 

Another tender moment comes when Riley gets alone time with Tayshia. He reveals that he failed the lie detector test because he was born with a different name. He changed it after a falling-out with his father, a complex situation that's made all the chatter about family visits even more anxiety-producing for him. In the past on The Bachelorette, family strife has been treated as something to overcome or somehow a flaw in a contestant. Here, though, Tayshia tells Riley he's a good man and comforts him. 

So much progress! We love to see it. But just when I think we've taken three steps forward, Bennett arrives to pull us right back down. It seems after their breakup, Bennett never left the La Quinta Inn. He wants another chance because, get this, he loves Tayshia. Huh? He also claims he's “never” had emotions like these for a woman before. (Concerning—he is, after all, 36.) The look in Tayshia's face makes me think she's about to dump him again, but then she says she needs the night to think it over. 

T! Did the toxins from his hair gel make you loopy? Are you hypnotized by boat shoes? I know you don't want Bennett questioning your decision-making, but…I'm sure as hell about to. Unfortunately, we'll have to wait and see where she lands next week. Until then.

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.

Anna Moeslein is the senior entertainment editor at Glamour. 

Originally Appeared on Glamour