The Bachelorette, Season 16, Episode 6, Recap: So Noah Is the New Villain, Right?
Now that the dust has settled on the Clare-Dale roller coaster—at least for now—I was worried that The Bachelorette might start feeling a little dull. Not so! That lightness I was feeling when Tayshia Adams took over as the Bachelorette has remained. We’re back to basics, and it’s working.
Case in point: Tonight’s episode kicks off with a classic easy-breezy Bachelorette date, one that involves pitting the men against each other in various challenges. This time Ashley and Jared went through a complicated quarantine and round of COVID-19 tests just so they can host a game that’s all about finding Tayshia “a grown-ass man."
Still not totally sure what the emphasis on “grown-ass man” is all about, but it doesn’t matter. We’ve seen this challenge format a million times before, and yet it is always illuminating. This time, for example, I learned that a Harvard education will not teach you how to spell limousine. The culprit is Bennett, who reminds us frequently that he went to Harvard and yet manages to fail every single math equation presented to the group in the first challenge. Ah, to be a privileged white man!
And not to generalize further, but…yeah, the dudes are right when they complain that Harvard people love to name-drop Harvard. I mean, no judgement. If I went to an Ivy League, I’d probably find a way to shoehorn it into every Bachelorette recap like Bennett casually claiming he can’t participate in the second challenge, a game of tug-of-war, because of an old “college” injury. Sure.
But it does make it all the more frustrating when Bennett loses those first two rounds—by a lot—yet wins anyway just because he made Tayshia the bougie-est brunch in the final challenge. I know this is called reality TV, but does it have to be this real? (Ivan to Bennett after the win, “Do you think you’ve earned it, though?” Update: I am attracted to Ivan.)
Another example of white male confidence in action: Chasen decides not to make Tayshia breakfast at all, instead tearing his shirt off and declaring himself “the main course.” My God. (Update: I am not attracted to Chasen.)
It’s a relief, then, when Tayshia gives the group date rose to Ivan. He’s sweet, he’s genuine, and he stays above the drama. Not above the drama are Bennett and Ed, who gossip about Chasen’s intentions. Keep in mind this happens while Bennett is wearing nothing but a bathrobe and Ed is clutching a fake baby doll he was awarded for being the “biggest man child” of the night.
Ed even tattles to Tayshia about Chasen, as if that’s a strategy that ever worked on this show. (Update: I am not attracted to Ed. I am attracted to Bennett, but only if I can ghost him after an expensive dinner at Le Bernardin.) This sets off a boring chain of events: Tayshia talks to Chasen, Chasen confronts Ed, blah blah blah. Who cares! Even Tayshia doesn’t have her full heart in it. (Update: Of course I am attracted to Tayshia.)
They’re still bickering at the cocktail ceremony the next night, which gives other men an opportunity to step up and prove they are attractive to me—I mean, Tayshia. Three standouts are Zac C., who has that confident, laid-back vibe about him; Joe, a doctor who worked on the coronavirus front lines in New York City and is the clear “marry” in a Bachelorette Fuck, Marry, Kill list; and Ben, who is just objectively hot. (Update: I am attracted to all of them.)
In a surprise twist, though, Tayshia gives roses that night to both Ed and Chasen. Also with roses this week: Zac, Riley, Kenny, Ben, Demar, Bennett, Spencer, Jordan, Noah, Joe, and Blake. (Ivan, Brendan, and Eazy had roses from previous dates.) Three men whose names I forget, and am not attracted to, are sent home.
The following day is a group date in which the men compete in UFC wrestling matches. Wells is there to…I don’t know, be hot, but the whole thing is fairly uneventful despite the fact that multiple men get boo-boos, Joe is great at trash talking, and Ed uses a questionable medical “injury” to get out of his match with Chasen. But the drama does pick up when Noah jumps a fence for Tayshia. (Update: Yes, I am unfortunately attracted to Noah and his mustache because I am trash.)
And at the after-party, Tayshia displays her true queen status by straight-up telling Noah to shave off his mustache. Now that is using your power for good! They should have a full date where she gives each of the men a She’s All That–style makeover. First on the list, finding hunky Jordan some new glasses. (Update: I am attracted to Jordan; I’d just like to give him a Warby Parker gift card.) Noah is game for the new look, hands Tayshia a razor, and gets the group rose for his effort. (Update: I am deeply disturbed to find I’m no longer attracted to Noah. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?)
Well, now that you all know my sexual preferences—wait, one more: Brendan is attractive, but only if he’s holding a Dunkin’ iced coffee and leans into the Boston of it all—I think it’s time to wrap. See you next week!
Anna Moeslein is the senior entertainment editor at Glamour. Follow her on Instagram @annamoeslein.
Originally Appeared on Glamour
