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What a week! So many sleepless nights. So many hours wasted scrolling my news feed for information—any information—I can get about the outcome. So what a relief it is to finally know: Clare Crawley is officially leaving The Bachelorette, and Tayshia Adams is taking her place.
What? Is there something else going on?
Kidding, kidding. But…doesn’t it seem like Clare found the One faster than it took Nevada to count the votes? Let’s get into it. Spoilers ahead.
The episode begins with the Men Who Are Not Named Dale post-gaming over the previous night’s group date, which ended with Clare deciding not to hand out a rose. They’re frustrated, and yet all seem confident that if Clare just spent more time with them she’d fall in love. I don’t know, guys. Have you met Dale?
Meanwhile, Clare is in her villa daydreaming about guess who. Does she stay and respect the process of The Bachelorette? Or say “Screw it” and go after what she wants? It looks like Chris Harrison is about to make that decision for her, because he shows up at her door ready for a heart-to-heart.
The guys are unhappy and confused, he tells her, and they know she favors Dale. “The path we’re on right now, we can’t continue,” he says. Clare admits that, yes, she’s in love. During quarantine, when production was halted, she looked at all the contestants’ social media and he stood out. Apparently Dale posted something about his late mom on Mother’s Day, and it really resonated with Clare. Though she insists they didn’t talk before filming, he was definitely top of mind for her.
So what now? Clare says she’d like to spend as much time with Dale as she can, and she also wants to tell him how she feels to see if he feels the same way. In short, her journey here is over.
“Congratulations, you’ve just blown up The Bachelorette,” Chris replies.
The host then has the unhappy job of telling the bros there won’t be a cocktail party or rose ceremony. Oh and, can he talk to Dale outside? The Men Who Are Not Named Dale are like, “???????????????????”
Clare shows up to dinner with Dale in the Bachelorette version of a freakum dress: red, low-cut, shiny. She admits that she’s all-in on him, and they bond over their families, losing a parent, and how that’s impacted previous relationships. And when Clare says, “I’m falling in love with you,” Dale tells her that he “felt love” the moment they met. After a quick dance to a performance by Chris and Bri from The Bachelor: Listen to Your Heart—which, yes, I did watch in quarantine—Clare and Dale go back to her room for an early Fantasy Suite.
The next morning they wake up in each other’s arms. Clare says she’s so in love with Dale, and “I feel it even more now.” Girl, I bet you do. After Dale leaves, Chris comes over for a morning-after chat. Clare is giddy. According to her, Dale was even better after the cameras were off. She can see herself being with him forever.
Chris is like, “HOOOOOKAY.” To which Clare says, “What do we do?”
“The next step is…a proposal,” Chris says without a hint of irony. Clare smiles.
Um? Is she trapped? Does Clare know they could just leave the resort and date? It happens all the time! Listen, I understand the allure of a vacation hookup—but that romance fades as soon as the sand leaves the little grooves of your flip-flops. If you take him home and still love him, then you know it’s forever.
On the other side of the resort, the Men Who Are Not Named Dale are gathered around a too-small sectional to basically quote my current group chats back to me: “What’s going on?” “Why are we left here waiting?” “I just want answers!!!”
When Clare shows up, she reveals she’s in love with Dale and leaving to be with him. Kenny suggests she apologize because they could all tell she wasn’t fully invested in dating anyone else. “I’ll apologize if I wasted your time, I’ll apologize if I hurt you, but I’m not going to apologize for love,” she says. The other men thank her for her honesty and say they’re happy for her.
While that’s going on, Chris meets up with Dale to tell him that the next step is ObViOuSLy a proposal and Clare will be expecting one. No pressure. Dale nods his head solemnly like this is a sane thing to say. Sir, you don’t have to do this!
Finally someone exhibits a little more sense: We see Clare crying and admitting to a producer she’s nervous that putting all this pressure on their relationship might ruin a good thing. When Chris checks in with her, Clare admits she’s so used to dysfunctional relationships that it’s all she knows. Chris’s advice—which should be, “Okay, let’s pause on this”—is to simply “trust yourself.” Okay. We don’t get Dale’s take on this, either. He’s just staring silently at the Neil Lane ring that some poor assistant had to rush to the La Quinta in a pandemic.
Anyway, a few hours later and…Dale proposes! Clare accepts, as if there were any other possible outcome.
So what about the Men Who Are Not Dale? Chris tells them their journey isn’t over, and they need to decide by that evening if they want to stay or not. But he doesn’t reveal any more information, so they’re all making a big decision on nothing. I don’t agree with this. It’s not fair to Tayshia to come in and start dating Clare’s sloppy seconds unless she knows they’re actually excited about potentially being with her. If they don’t want to continue with Tayshia, they should leave.
Regardless, the men all decide to proceed with the mystery Bachelorette. When Chris tells them she’s on her way, they’re relieved. The phrases “fresh start” and “equal playing field” are thrown around. And I find I’m relieved too—as Tayshia stepped out of the limo, I actually gasped. She looked incredible, and it made me even more excited to start this journey all over again. As my friend Brittany said in our group chat, “Worthy of sequins!” Worthy of sequins indeed.
The episode ends there. Can’t wait for next week.
Anna Moeslein is the senior entertainment editor at Glamour. Follow her on Instagram @annamoeslein.
Originally Appeared on Glamour