Caution: Spoilers for The Bachelorette ahead.
Last week Hannah decided to give a rose to Luke—a man who whines, "I'm giving you the best I have!" while showing the worst side of himself—for reasons still unclear to the rest of Bachelor Nation. If her decision annoyed you, I have bad news: She does it again tonight. WHY, HANNAH? All season long you've told us that you're looking for a partner who respects you and your decisions, and you have no problem calling out the dudes—even Luke—when they behave badly. So I need answers beyond Chris Harrison's explanation that it's because you have an "amazing bond" with him. Where is this bond, other than a make-out session in week one? Show me receipts.
But let's back up. The group is now in Latvia, and Hannah hopes she can turn things around from last week's debacle. "I want this week to remind me why I'm here," she explains. What, a chance at mattress and clothing spon-con deals? No, "to find love and to be romanced by these men." Ah, yes, of course.
Garrett gets the first one-on-one date of the week, and Luke claims this is the first time he's "actually, legitimately" jealous. He says he knows for "a fact" that the other guys don't feel the same way about Hannah as he does. Luke, I agree with you: No, the others don't feel the same way about Hannah. That's because, as far as I can tell, they don't see her as a piece of property. (Guys, warning you now: Luke has me all fired up, so if you're #TeamLP, this recap may not be for you.)
Anyway, the date with Garrett is as awkward as Luke trying to explain his feelings: bungee jumping. While naked. Apparently this is a Latvian tradition, but an admittedly brief Google search makes me think this happened, like, one time in 2014.
Hannah reacts to this excursion exactly how I would: complaining about how cold she is. However, she says Old Hannah would let fear control her. New Hannah wants to live in the moment and do what "feels right," and apparently that means bungee jumping over a ravine strapped to a hunky dude while a large black bar covers their bits and bobs. They survive—but Hannah's bra, which the bungee jumping staff carelessly tosses into the river, does not. So rude! If Hannah's anything like me, she had at least five more years of shelf life out of that thing.
The rest of Garrett and Hannah's date is less eventful: They talk, they bond. You get it. At one point Garrett opens up about how he played football in his youth because he felt that's what his family expected of him. Eventually he was able to break free of that to pursue his own dreams…to play golf. Not to disrespect anyone's journey—but, sir, that is the lamest "adversity" story I have ever heard in my life. TF? Somehow, Hannah finds this man exciting enough to give him a rose.
The next day is a group date with Mike, Jed, Tyler, Dustin, Luke, Connor, and Dylan. They wander around a market. They drink moonshine. They eat pickles and fish heads. Tyler brings her flowers, because he's perfect. Hannah's just happy everyone is getting along…that is, until she tells the guys about the naked bungee jumping. Most of the guys think it's a fun story, but Luke is IN SHOCK. "This is a woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, and [I] totally thought that was crossing the line," he says.
It gets worse: "Her body is her temple and to expose it to anyone who isn't her husband...that was a slap in my face." He says he needs answers and has to say something to Hannah. When he tells the other dudes he wasn't comfortable with her being naked around Garrett, Tyler shuts him down: "Here's where I differ, though, is I actually respect and love that she went for it. She's making her own decisions. She's not making decisions for anyone but herself. Let her go have those experiences living to the max."
Luke, however, thinks he can confront Hannah about this and still get the group date rose. When he sits down with her, he kicks off their conversation in the worst way possible: "I'll be honest, you're not going to like this." Then he asks if she's ever been cheated on—when she says yes, he explains that's how he felt about her date with Garrett. "I know that your body is a temple, and honestly I'm just thinking of you holding him bare-skinned…it really pissed me off," he explains. Hannah makes it clear she had a choice to do it or not, and the bungee jumping wasn't sexual. It was an experience she wanted for herself. "I'm looking for you to meet my family soon, and I felt like it was a slap in the face," he replies.
He continues, "No matter what you do I'm going to support you, even if you make a boneheaded mistake and you just do something completely out of your character and something that's wrong. I'm going to do whatever it is to make things right. I'm in this, and we're going to work through this together and I'm not worried about it. I just want you to know that at the end of the day, no matter what, we're going to get through anything."
Sir, what is there to get through???? Amazingly, Hannah does not kick him out or stare at him slack-jawed. She just kind of tilts her head and smiles. Still, the group date rose goes to Tyler.
Luke is mystified by this decision, because he thinks that he should get it for being "real" and "honest." Um, that should be two things you are always, regardless of whether or not someone has gone naked bungee jumping that week. You don't get rewarded for being a dick.
Let's move on to better things: Hannah and Peter's sexy Latvian spa day. They go to a cabin in the woods for a sauna/cleansing ritual. The show kind of treats it like a joke—that quirky "isn't this weird?" music plays as they go through the process—but TBH, I love this woo-woo stuff. I'll mix up love spices with Peter any day. (Hey, mind out of the gutter.)
Hannah's into it too: "I like that Peter makes me feel like a woman," she says.
Peter tells Hannah he's falling for her and gets a rose. That night, after they return from their date, Jed sneaks out and stands below her window playing guitar like he's John Cusack in Say Anything. Hannah invites him upstairs, and he plays some more music for her. Do you think he originally wrote that song for the girlfriend he allegedly left back at home? No? He must have forgotten to mention her.
"Can I tell you something?" he asks, and for a beat I thought he was going to reveal the girlfriend. But then he says, "I really am falling in love with you." Hannah swoons.
Back at the hotel Garrett and Luke are too busy fighting to notice that Jed has sneaked out to get extra time with Hannah. Luke claims he didn't tell Hannah what she can and can't do with her body (uh, bullshit). Luke then asks Garrett to not make a big deal of their fight at the rose ceremony; instead of answering, Garrett just stares at him before calmly saying, "Sweet dreams, Luke." CHILLING.
Before the rose ceremony, Hannah asks to speak to Luke alone. Apparently, she's been processing the conversation they had on the group date and has a few things to say. (Thank God.) She tells Luke she appreciates that he came to her with his feelings, but the conversation didn't sit well with her because of the language he used. She repeats his own words back to him—how he called it a "boneheaded mistake," for example. "It wasn't a sexual thing at all," she says. "But even if it was, at this point it doesn't matter because you're not my husband. You don't own my body. You don't own me. It's my body."
He interrupts, "I started the conversation the worst way possible." He claims he trusts her—he just doesn't want to talk about or know what she's doing with the other guys. "I am never going to control you," he says. "I will never tell you what you can and cannot do with your body. But let me get into things I brought up about, you know, if I'm with you…I was not referring to that whatsoever. I was referring to the future."
He stumbles around a bit more, before adding, "I don't want to say you're twisting my words, but…"
And also, "I was totally misunderstood there."
Basically, Luke claims he wasn't talking about the bungee jumping at all, even though that was exactly what he was talking about. Hannah points this out, and he digs in that he was misunderstood. "I'm sorry," he says. "I was misunderstood, but I didn't question your character. And I don't know if you remember everything I said." Hannah makes it clear that she remembers every word, and she's not happy. He finally asks for forgiveness and says he had "no business" telling her she was disrespectful. "From now on, I'm going to speak clear," he adds. "I'm giving you the best I have and I'm going to continue to do better."
Hannah tells him she doesn't want a relationship that takes this much work. Why is it so hard for them? Hannah, it's because he has the emotional capacity of a peanut. And not the honey-roasted or slightly salted kind—he's a dry, dusty peanut that's been rolling around in the dirt for too long.
When Luke rejoins the other guys, he says he wants to keep his talk with Hannah between them. Then they all just start screaming at each other about staying in their own lanes and puffing out their chests. Tyler calls out Luke's double standard: He can parade around in a Speedo, but she can't go bungee jumping? Luke starts raising his voice, until Jed tells him to keep it down and not screw up another cocktail party. Luke's like, "Fair enough."
Turns out there won't be a cocktail party, though: Chris Harrison comes in and reveals that they're going straight to the rose ceremony.
Peter, Tyler, and Garrett already have roses, and the rest go to Jed, Mike, Connor, and…sigh, Luke. That means goodbye for Dylan and Dustin. See you in Paradise, maybe?
The episode ends with Chris essentially asking Hannah, "Why him?" Her explanation? She's either falling in love or he's making her crazy. Hm.
Originally Appeared on Glamour