The Bachelorette Season 15, Episode 6, Recap: Hannah Gives a Very, Very Good Speech
Caution: Spoilers for the most recent episode of The Bachelorette ahead.
Remember last episode when it seemed that Hannah was finally over Luke's bullshit and ready to move on to her true calling: horny Outlander fan? God, I miss those days. What a week! Unfortunately, Luke and his big, blank stares are here to stay a while longer…but at least his nonsense resulted in Hannah giving her best speech of the season. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's go back and recap from the beginning, shall we?
The episode starts where we left off: with Hannah telling Luke she can't give him the one-on-one date rose. "I'm very confused right now," he replies after Hannah pointedly sets the rose back on the table. She explains—yet again—why their date was bad: She keeps asking him to open up, he keeps behaving as if he replaced his brain with a case of protein powder. Luke complains that he felt he couldn't speak freely; Hannah reminds him that speaking freely is literally the entire point of a one-on-one date.
"Please think about everything that we've talked about," he replies, lamely. But Hannah still isn't giving him a rose. "So is this it? Does this mean I go home tonight?" he asks. "Yes, and I want you to respect that," she answers.
He sighs. They hug. Dramatic music swells, as if we thought for one second this was at all sad. This would have been a much better soundtrack:
In his on-camera interview, Luke says it never crossed his mind he could go home today. Really? Three weeks ago she was telling you to calm down. That should have been a sign.
It seems Luke finally takes the hint, though, stalking off into the dark woods alone. He looks like Jason Voorhees on his way to Crystal Lake. Seriously—this could be the inspiration for the next Blumhouse hit:
It gets scarier: Luke goes back in a last-ditch attempt to convince Hannah he should stay. He says the bad date was all his fault. "I feel like I've been trying to explain myself," he says. "Yes, we talked in circles, and I couldn't stand it." He awkwardly asks if he can "yell" to show her that he means it, but then musters about as much passion as a soggy hot dog bun come to life.
Somehow, against all odds, Hannah gives him another chance. He still doesn't get a rose, but he can stick around for the rose ceremony. The other guys obviously don't respond well to this development. Hannah doesn't care. She knows the guys hate Luke, but she's going to make her own decisions about him. While I appreciate Hannah's strong will and encourage her to stand by her choices, I wish she'd channel more of that energy into Tyler or Mike. Hell, even Peter the Pilot. But that's just me.
The next day Hannah tells the guys she wants everyone to start "being comfortable sharing the uncomfortable." In other words, stop being polite and start getting real. In other words, don't be Luke, a robot who wished he could be a real boy.
I guess Garrett missed her big speech because he stupidly spends most of his time with her asking whether or not Luke has talked about him behind his back. Hannah explains that Luke did mention Mike, Dylan, and Devin on their date, but only because she asked. But Garrett uses this as an opportunity to confront Luke in front of the other guys. Luke admits he did talk about a few people to Hannah, but it wasn't negative. The conversation gets more heated, though—and it escalates so much that Hannah is moved to intervene. She's frustrated by all the fighting. So, she says, let's just all talk out in the open now. I've said this before, but Hannah Putting Men in Their Place is my favorite Hannah. Watch this piece of brilliance:
She explains that while, yes, Luke did talk about the guys, it's only because she asked since everyone else in the house has come to her about him. "I'm not trying to defend him," she adds, but she's tired of the fighting. They all go back and forth a bit. It goes nowhere, until Hannah does the most perfect move I think I've ever seen:
Now adopting this for every situation in my life. Tell me oat milk costs extra, and you'll get this:
My reaction to everyone saying Ramona and Luann might be leaving Real Housewives of New York:
How I'll respond to my 6 a.m. alarm:
You get the idea.
Anyway, Hannah leaves the room and Peter pleads with everyone to cut it out. But the guys Still. Keep. Fighting. Hannah stews in a back room before downing her wine in one iconic gulp.
She marches back in the room to set everyone straight. "Luke, can you just stop making excuses?" she says. And to the others, "I'm a grown-ass woman, and I can decide if I want to spend my time figuring [Luke] out or I don't." The message: Stop spending so much time thinking about each other and focus on her. "None of you know anything about me and why I'm here and what makes me me," she points out. Nobody's asked her about herself, all they do is talk about their issues with Luke. She leaves the room in tears.
Tyler, my love, gives the men a rousing speech. If Hannah's out here crying instead of enjoying her last night on Scotland, he explains, that's on them. "We're messing this up." YUP. The guys finally apologize to each other and agree to stay in their own lanes. We'll see how long that lasts.
Meanwhile, Chris Harrison finds Hannah crying alone in a back room. "What's wrong?" he asks "Everything," she says, dramatically. As someone with a lot of feelings, I really appreciated that little moment. It feels good to be seen!
Hannah complains to Chris that the Luke drama is taking up her time, and it's hurting every relationship. Chris's take: The guys are crazy about her, and they're jealous of the attention she gives Luke. Wow, that's…missing the point. My take: If you dump Luke, we wouldn't have to talk so much about Luke.
Anyway, Hannah decides to just get the rose ceremony over with. Mike and Jed already had roses, and the rest go to Connor, Tyler, Dustin, Peter, Dylan, Garrett, and Luke. That means goodbye to Devin, Kevin, and Grant. Once they leave, Hannah sets the remaining dudes straight: She's not sure she sees a future with anybody at this point, so they've got to figure it out.
And with that, it's time for the next destination: Latvia. But before Hannah takes the guys out for dates, she sits down with Chris for a heart-to-heart. "I'm not trusting these relationships as much as I'd want to," she explains. The guys haven't been asking her the right questions or showing a deeper side of themselves, so she's not comfortable opening up that side of herself yet. She thought by now she'd understand her feelings and emotions better. But, "I just don't want to give my heart to anybody who doesn't deserve it."
The rest of the episode is a bit strange: Basically, Chris brings Hannah to the Bachelor mansion to recap everything we've seen in the season so far. They talk about the highs and lows, but none of it is that enlightening. We do find out Luke is the best kisser, though, so I guess that explains a lot. Also, Hannah once named a pimple Marcus, which I think is a good name for a pimple.
Guess we'll just have to continue this journey next week. See you then!
Anna Moeslein is a senior editor at Glamour. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @annamoeslein.
Originally Appeared on Glamour
