How to Avoid These Holiday Card Faux Pas, According to the Experts
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Yes, we love the lights and the decorations. But one of the main reasons the holidays are the most wonderful time of the year is hearing from loved ones near and far, friends old and new. Finally, the mailbox fills with something other than bills and junk, bearing cards full of news, well wishes, and the smiling faces of people you can't help but grin back at when you open the envelope. Each card is like a little gift.
That being said, you don't have to be a Grinch to notice that holiday cards can sometimes go horribly—or hilariously—wrong. From crimes of grammar to missing persons cases to overshares worthy of a Real Housewives reunion show, holiday card faux pas are so common, and so beloved, that there are entire websites and Instagram accounts devoted to them.
While we appreciate the entertainment value of these misfit cards, at the risk of getting on Santa's naughty list, we're laughing at them, not with them. We'd never want anyone to reconsider sending greetings because of the risk of a card kerfuffle. In fact, we want to empower you to send cards with confidence. Below, our four easy-to follow tips for sending out cards that are so festive, and fabulous, Kris Kardashian will be jealous.
First, step away from the apostrophes.
What does it say about our society that, when the holidays roll around, we become possessive just when we should be banding together as a community? When it's time to send holiday greetings from the whole fam instead of adding a simple s to turn a single Fitzpatrick or Kumar family member into the Fitzpatricks or the Kumars, many people add a rogue apostrophe. This happens even though we were all taught that apostrophes exist to show a missing letter (as when do not becomes don't) or possession (the Fitzpatrick's house), not multiples (the Fitzpatricks).
We can blame this grammar fumble on technology; the autocorrect feature on an Apple iPhone adds an errant apostrophe when you type a plural word. Or, it could be a case of keeping up with the Jones's Joneses; once you see so many mis-addressed cards, you start to think you might be the one doing it wrong.
Whatever the reason, apostrophe abuse is so rampant that the mother-daughter-run stationery and home design business Southern Hospitality Company designed an infographic to help their clients—and it has since gone viral.
It outlines a few simple rules: Stop using apostrophes. Simply add an s, or, if your name ends in s, ch, sh, x, or z, consider an -es.
Then, they offer an easy hack: When in doubt, stick with "The _______ Family."
This public service message was born of necessity. "Every year we receive dozens of orders of holiday cards, gift tags, stationery, and platters that have unnecessary apostrophes on the end of names," says Ashlyn P. Walters, one of the company's co-owners. "It seems like most weddings these days have a light up sign that has 'The Wilson's,' which is grammatically incorrect. The Wilson's what?" adds fellow owner (and Ashlyn's mom) Julie Peterson. "We felt it would be helpful to our customers as they order gifts and address holiday cards to have a guide for the tricky names that end in -s,.ch, -sh, -x, and -y."
Helpful, indeed. As Walters points out, "This post has blown up on both Facebook and Instagram. We have had people we're friends with from all over the country send us screenshots of their high school English teachers reposting it." In fact, go ahead and forward it to everyone you know—they can consider it a holiday gift they can use every year.
Next, make sure the entire family is represented.
All children are cute. But I didn't go to college with the adorable six and eight year olds grinning up at me, whom I've never met. I went to school with you, their parent.
I want to see your kids. But I want to see you, too, because you're the person I know and love. If you're sending a card with a reproduction of an artwork, or a holiday message, fine, you get a pass. If you're sending a photo card, please make sure the person the recipient knows is included. In other words, you can run, but you can't hide without me judging you. If an adult does not appear in a holiday card, I will assume they aged Benjamin-Button-style over the past year. Nicer people than I won't, but they will be disappointed not to see their old friend, just that friend's progeny.
The only allowable exception to this rule is if you had a new baby, your first, in the past year, it is acceptable to send a solo picture of that little cherub. (Even so, House Beautiful Managing Editor Olivia Hosken notes, "I got a lot of heat for excluding the cats from our Christmas Card last year in an effort to squeeze in more baby photos)."
Now, pick a color palette.
Did you ever notice how in Prince William and family's photo cards, they're not wearing identical outfits, but everyone seems to somehow match? You don't need to have a royal wardrobe or a professional photographer to pull off a similar vibe. Anita Yokata, an interior designer, licensed psychotherapist, and author of the book Home Therapy, has a holiday card hack. Instead of trying to get her family's outfits to match each other, she chooses a card design first, and looks at what the fake family in the photo is wearing. Then she picks outfits from her own family's closets that are in the same color scheme as the models' outfits. Boom! Cards fit for royalty. On top of that, says Yokata, "it makes the card come together in a pleasant, calming way that looks fun but not fake."
Finally, choose your words wisely.
You can send holiday greetings any way you want. (Although we do have a few suggestions.) But if you include a little newsy update in your card, may we suggest you keep it somewhat suitable for work? I still cringe in secondhand embarrassment when recalling a holiday newsletter sent by friends of my parents' that said, of the writer's youngest son, "Timmy is 12, in seventh grade, and active on his soccer team—and yes, he has discovered girls!"
No. Just, no. While the holidays can be reminiscent of reality TV, complete with dressy outfits, flowing wine, and the occasional table being overturned, you don't want to be the loose-lipped villain of the season.
Follow these rules, and your cards will spread tidings of joy throughout the land. Break them, and you may end up next year's meme.
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