Real Talk: When You’re a Mom, “Sleeping In” Means Unitl 7 AM
Welcome to Sleep Diaries, a new Prevention.com series where interesting people share a week’s worth of late-night habits. They’ll tell you, the reader, how they wrap up their day, how they get to sleep, stay asleep or fall back asleep, and how they feel when they wake up in the morning. Why? Because sleep is America’s Most Wanted thing. We chase after it like an elusive elixir that'll make us look younger and feel less stressed. (Maybe because it will.) We thought by getting people to share what works for them—and doesn’t—it might help you find better ZZZs. Or at least give you something entertaining to read. This week, we have Nicole Blades, a novelist, speaker, journalist, certified personal trainer, and mom. Her latest book, Have You Met Nora?, was clearly written in stolen moments between her crazy schedule.
Sunday, March 31
I had promised myself I would be asleep by 9:45 p.m., but then I tried to squeeze in more work on my laptop and strike things off my ridiculous to do list. And then there was that basket of laundry in the corner of my bedroom, taunting me. Of course, I had to fold it. My husband Scott was already fast asleep, despite the lights being on. How dare he sleep through just about anything! (Jealousy’s a helluva drug.) He had come back from a weekend guys’ trip and was spent. I was tired too, having worked and mom’d-so-hard over the weekend. I did my nighttime skincare routine, which has about six steps. Cleansing balm, regular cleanse, serum, serum, eye cream, moisturizer. The 2019 Natural Glow Campaign is legit.
Ended up jumping into bed, lights out, at 10:35 p.m. This was semi-promising, since my alarm was set to sound at 5:15 a.m. to hit the gym. But then, classic misstep: I scrolled through Instagram and Twitter after double-checking that my alarm was indeed set for five o’clock. Cut to me not actually going to sleep until 11 p.m.
Woke up for no good or sane reason at 4:35 a.m. Tried to get back on the sleep train, but brain is not having that. Laid there for about 10 minutes thinking through my day and some dialogue for the novel I’m working on.
Monday, April 1
Got the kid in bed on time and sneaked back into my office to put in a little more writing work. Slipped down a rabbit hole on Eartha Kitt. Oh, the places you will go on research.
Did my Monday night mask and skincare routine. Seven steps this time. Exfoliation is crucial! And, somehow, cleansing and hydrating my skin well relaxes me. Maybe the routine of it all sends the message to my brain that it’s time to power down. Went to bed at 11 p.m. but was slightly annoyed at myself for working into the night. I had planned (again) to nix the late-night working thing starting (again) in April. And here it was—the top of the month—and I was doing it (again). Try, try, again, I suppose.
Woke up to my son standing by my bedside at 3:15 a.m. He was saying something about the covers in his room, I think. Not sure, because I was pretending to be half asleep. I borrowed a page from the newborn parenting phase, around the issue of baby’s day/night confusion, and I avoided making direct eye contact with him so he would not engage nor think it’s a proper time to be awake. Instead, I asked my husband, who, as previously established, can sleep through anything but also can go back to sleep in a snap after being woken. On the other hand, it took me a little bit longer to fall back asleep. Plus, there was the bathroom visit 15 minutes later. (Drinking lots of water is good for the body, yes, but a complete emotional rollercoaster ride for the bladder.)
Alarm sounded at 5:15 a.m. for me to go to the gym. Felt surprisingly energized and not tired. That is, until around 4 p.m. The Tired came back at me like a vengeful boomerang.
Tuesday, April 2
Made an on-the-fly decision to skip my early a.m. trip to the gym tomorrow and “sleep” in until 7 a.m. when the rest of the house wakes up and gets the day going. I was tired from the night before, and I figured I could get my workout in later in the morning between the dog’s grooming appointment and my late morning conference call. Wrapped up working on the laptop in bed around 9:15 p.m. to get my son to bed. He was next to me reading. He knows that I’m all about books and I love that he loves reading them, so it’s become part of his arsenal against his actual 8:30/8:45 a.m. bedtime. He also knows that if I’m wrapped up in writing, I will often lose track of time. He’s 10 years old, but wise beyond that.
Read some pages from my manuscript to my husband when he came upstairs to get ready for bed at 9:45 p.m. He turned out his light when he said he would…while I made notes to the document with my presentation that I’m doing end of this week at a writers' conference in Boston. Then lights out for me at 10:40 p.m.
The plan was to get a solid 8 hours.
Wasn’t it Mike Tyson who said: Everyone has a plan ‘til they get punched in the mouth.
I woke up at 4:05 a.m. to pee. Urgently. Then fell asleep again, lightly, until 5:20 a.m. My brain’s light was on, so that was the end of that. I tried to mediate, but made very little progress. Popped up at 6 a.m., went to my office, and started writing.
Wednesday, April 3
Busy evening. Did a quick fitness demo at my local running store while also juggling early dinner and homework with the kid who had a Scouts meeting. Husband working late this whole week. Wednesdays always feel jam packed since my son’s school has early dismissal every single week so the teachers can have a meeting. The truncated day means I have to cram more work into the morning and then wind up doing more of it at night.
All this to say, I ended up going to bed at 11:50 p.m. After I did my nightly skincare routine, I was out as soon as my head touched the pillow. My alarm was set for 5:15 a.m. to hit the gym.
Again this kid woke up in the wee hours and came into our room with some 10-year-old nighttime complaints. Not once, but two whole and separate times! I managed to fall back asleep after the pee stop at 3:05 a.m., but then started awake at 4:45 a.m., thinking I missed my alarm. Narrator: She never misses her alarm. Decided to stay awake with eyes closed until alarm went off. Definitely felt tired the next day.
Thursday, April 4
Another busy, overfull day in this exceedingly busy, overfull week. Feeling off and stretched thin. I can see it in my eyes and feel it everywhere else. I know that operating on a sleep deficit is unhealthy. Even though I know this—like, know it know it—I am still trying to juggle everything. It’s clear to me that I’m doing too much. Only four days into the week and month, but it feels like a year. Just kidding. (Not really. I’m exhausted.)
I didn’t get to pack for my trip until late at night. Not my usual style. Got to bed at 11:30 p.m. and didn’t fall asleep until 11:45 p.m. or so. My brain was on level 8 still.
Friday, April 5
Woke up before the 5 a.m. alarm yet again! Went to the gym with energy on low. But felt good after my workout. Rode the post-exercise boost wave through the rest of the morning rush to get my son off to school and myself out the door to Boston for a writers' conference.
Took about an hour and 45 minutes to get to Boston, and I was yawning through most of it. I could feel my body screaming at me for sleep. Checked in at the lovely hotel and upgraded to the large suite with the king bed as a show of faith to myself that good sleep was coming.
After walking more than a 10K at the conference (in high-heeled booties, no less), I was on fumes by the 5 o’clock cocktail hour. Chatted with some folks and then beelined it back to my room, ordered room service, wrote for a little, and then it was head to pillow and lights out just before 10 p.m.
Woke up at 4:50 a.m., but slid over to way other side of the giant bed, repositioned on the other, untouched pillows and went back to sleep in a snap. Woke up again at 6 a.m. Got my eight hours! Internal battery powered back up to 100 percent.
Saturday, April 6
After a full day of talking books, writing, and craft at the conference, I knew tonight’s sleep was going to be scrumptious. I could taste the sweetness of it by late afternoon.
Stayed out later than planned, hanging with friends and folks at the conference’s “after-parties” and going out for a super late mini dinner. Got back to my hotel room by 11:30p.m., did my skincare routine (four steps), tried to do a little work, but my eyelids had other ideas. Turned out the lights a half hour later and fell asleep hard. Woke up at 2:15 a.m. for a pee break, but kept all lights off and my eyes half closed so going back to bed would be easy. Worked! Woke up again at 8 a.m., surprised. I cannot remember the last time I slept past 7 a.m. Feeling rested, refreshed, with my mind clearer. Now I’m wondering if I when I can move into this hotel suite.
Sunday, April 7
I knew that getting to bed a decent hour was going to be a challenge tonight. Driving back from Boston, settling back in with the fam, unpacking, laundry, repacking, and getting the whole crew ready for a quick road trip for my son’s spring break, plus two work deadlines early this week. Yeah, good luck, Blades!
Managed to get to bed at midnight and went directly to sleep. Woke up at 7 a.m. sharp when my son came into the room, excited about the first day of spring break and our family road trip. Figured seven hours is better than what I was previously getting earlier this week. Not yawning a lot like earlier, and feels like my energy level is great. Hoping this At Least 7 Hours of Sleep keeps trending in my life.
Nicole Blades is a novelist, speaker, journalist, and certified personal trainer. Her latest book, HAVE YOU MET NORA?, is out now. Follow her on Twitter @NicoleBlades, and find out more at: www.NicoleBlades.com.
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