Asma Khan | MAKERS + Be Bold, London

Asma Khan | MAKERS + Be Bold, London

Video Transcript

[APPLAUSE]

ASMA KHAN: Thank you very much. It's a real privilege to be here and in person because I've done this a few years ago online. And it's wonderful to be in a room full of women because I truly believe that there is something very powerful in the collective. And that is what we are.

My restaurant is, at the moment, the only all-female Indian female kitchen in the world at this level. We do not even have one in India. And the irony of it all is that from Afghanistan to Sri Lanka, every home has a female cooking. The matriarch is in charge.

And let me move further away to countries across the oceans. This is true in many countries and cultures that, if you remember, it's your mother or your grandmother. You know, Christmas meals. Everything nostalgic that you remember, it is a touch of a woman. It's her food that healed and fed.

And I don't know what happened that in every restaurant, for us, for Indian food, for food from the subcontinent, whether you're in the East or in the West, it's all men who are cooking. And I don't have a problem with men cooking. The problem is deeper. The problem is my roti is only valuable if it's free.

Because women make it look effortless, because we've always done it with love and with pride and with affection, and it is our way of communicating to people we love, no one ever thought, is there a price that we need to pay for this? And it was really when I began my food journey, I realized that our food is absolutely political. And so many chefs, especially those on prime time, are obnoxious.

[LAUGHTER]

They are violent. They are loud. They are often racist and absolutely misogynist. And yet, no one is saying anything. People are accepting food made in kitchens where there is violence, where there is racism, where women are sexually assaulted, where people who have different sexual orientation are ridiculed and laughed at.

And I don't understand, and this is not because I'm a lawyer, that if this level of touching against your consent happened outside a professional kitchen, you'd be in jail. The silence that comes really is the big problem we have in hospitality. We do not have enough women in positions of power. All the power lies with men and their networks.

For those who might know me, know that this is-- I am the only person who you will find writing in newspapers. I am fearless. So when there have been proved allegations of a prominent, powerful chef of sexual harassment, racism, bullying, the silence-- first, let me talk about the powerful female chefs, the Michelin-star chefs-- is deafening.

Everybody closes ranks. Powerful women in hospitality close ranks. You will not find comments from them anywhere. And I want to try and understand why it is that you need to protect your position, and you will not call it out.

It took a woman who would not get off her seat on the bus to change segregation. Colonialism, slavery, all of this ended because someone had the courage to say, stop. You know, the suffragette movement is a living example.

I know what this feels. In hospitality, I'm sowing a harvest I will never reap. I will not be there to see the young women who stride into the kitchen with power and radiate that. And you wouldn't go and touch her because you know you can't do that. You cannot touch without consent in a kitchen. You're no longer protected by silence and the old boys' club who will all get together and basically do nothing.

So it is really a movement to change the narrative about how we clear the pathways for the future leaders. And this is why we are all here-- because it cannot be only about you. It cannot be about your legacy only. It has to be about the pathways you're clearing.

And I'm very conscious of the fact that as a Muslim immigrant, a woman of color, someone who's 53-- I started my business in the 40s-- that I tick a lot of boxes. So I get called to events. And the first thing I ask is, tell me who else is on the panel.

I am not that box you're gonna tick by telling me to turn up, because this is a problem. This is also a danger that you then become that person that everybody calls. And I'm blocking the progress of other voices on the stage.

And I was so proud to be here with these three incredible women. This is what we need. If you're called somewhere, take along someone else who can speak, who can network, who can meet. And this is a very important part of what I do.

And I really understand this, that when I-- some of you may have seen my episode on "Chef's Table." When I was approached, the first thing I asked them is that, can I please not be scripted? I don't do scripting very well. I hate it when people tell me what to say.

[LAUGHTER]

And the other thing is, I said, can I show all my team? And there was silence. And I thought I got dropped out of the call. And someone said, we did 35 chefs, the best chefs from the world. No one asked to show their team.

This is staggering. This feeds into this kind of psychopath, crazy, Van Gogh, tormented, genius chef syndrome, which is-- you know, I can tell you one thing. I barely touch most of the plates that leave my pass, which is when the food is being dispatched, I know at least eight people are involved.

The most important person? His name is Daku. He's from Ghana. Big, strong Black guy. He washes the plates. Doesn't matter how good my biryani is. There's a smudge on the plate, I'm doomed.

He's a very important person in my kitchen. And this is why, when I'm in the kitchen, my wage is the same as his-- because these things are important. This is how you build a team-- by making them understand that everyone is equal. And I think that everybody has a responsibility.

You know, I grew up with this whole idea. I was very privileged. I grew up in a very privileged home. I never went to bed hungry. I never felt insecure about who I was, what I looked like, because despite people taunting me when I was younger-- I was pretty bad taunting. I have some really nasty extended relatives who would tell me, oh, you're so fat. And you're so dark, and no one's ever gonna marry you. And it was like, you know, I don't-- it shook me.

But what helped a lot-- and I want to say in this audience because there are all of you. I know all of you are powerful. I know all of you are empathetic. And you can do what my sister did for me. My sister was the princess in the family. So beautiful. She still bloody looks 10 years younger than me.

[LAUGHTER]

But slim, tall, gorgeous, the most beautiful hair, beautiful manners. And everyone would say, look at her, and look at you. My sister would come and hold my hand at the back and tell me, Asma, you're the warrior princess. You're gonna set the world on fire.

She didn't need to do a lot. What she did changed my life. You all can do that. You can all be that person. You don't need to have a public embracing and show of force and all of that because sometimes you're not ready for it. And the person you're trying to help is not ready for it.

But if you do not put that hand out and hold that person and tell them they're worthwhile, that they are beautiful, that they are significant, that you care for them, you believe them, you don't deserve to be powerful then. If all you are about is yourself and only about you, it's pretty pointless because when you die, there'll be a headstone saying maybe CEO of some great company and very rich and whatever.

I know what I want to be when I die. And I know-- you know, I don't want to end this on a morbid note and talk about death. But I really want to know that I left a legacy, which is so important. I'm Muslim. We go wrapped in a coffin. We don't even go in a coffin. It's a white cloth. It costs nothing. We are buried on the soil in the earth in that cloth.

But even in my death, I want to know that a woman, 43, overweight, middle-aged, never done anything in her life like this, can walk into a room, be it the bank or investment trust, the landlord-- she can walk into the room and say my name. Even in my death, what Darjeeling Express is-- this restaurant run by an all-female kitchen, all of whom have never had professional training. They have life experience. And they hit every ball out of the park every day.

These powerful women who society has sidestepped as middle-aged, older, not so creative, the women in the autumn of our lives-- we are in the spring of our lives. And when all of us are gone, we will still be calling out, standing up, and helping out these women so they can go in, because when I wanted to open a restaurant, I could say no one's name. When I wanted to be anything, I had no one whose name I could take.

And the one thing that I feel proud of, and I feel that this has made my life worthwhile of 10 years of food business of different types, starting from my home to a restaurant, is that I want women to know, no one stops your way. You can be anything you want to be. You write your own story. Thank you very much.

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]