Ash B Is the Voguing Rapper Subverting Femininity With Her "Memories of an A.G."

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It’s no secret that given the popularity of shows such as RuPaul’s Drag Race and Ryan Murphy’s Pose, mainstream pop culture has fallen in love with the ballroom scene, full-stop. And it’s also something that New Jersey-based rapper Ash B. knows well. As an integral member of the Qween Beat collective — or what could be considered America’s most prominent ballroom label — Ash has lent her sharp wit to many a Qween Beat production. Armed with incisive commentary about her own experiences with navigating gender and sexuality, as well as an ear for catchy ‘90s-influenced beats, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that Ash is a master at her craft and a well-respected fixture in the scene.

As such, her new EP, Memories of an A.G., is a captivating exploration of her many expressive alter-egos. Each song is based off a specific memory of Ash’s and, as such, acts as a intensely personal documentation of her rise within the tri-state ballroom scene, as well as her journey within the space as an androgynous, lesbian woman. Though she is quick to clarify that she loves the acceptance of the ballroom community, at times it can be a challenge to eke out your own space as someone who doesn’t subscribe to traditional, aesthetic tenets of femininity. However, if Memories of an A.G.’s lyrical content is any indication, it’s a challenge that’s only made her stronger. Teen Vogue chatted with Ash B about everything from her life as a so-called “Aggressive Girl” to how she’s tackling the shady naysayers.

Teen Vogue: Tell me a little bit about making this record. What that process like?

Ash B: Memories of an A.G. is basically about my life—the stories and things I’ve been through. Whether it be people throwing shade or hating on me or even my love life, [there’s] heartache and pain. But also love and celebrating love. Always staying positive, even if I may be going through turmoil.

TV: What exactly do you mean by people hating on you?

AB: Those types of situations where I’m making music and people...they throw shade on who I am. Sometimes I feel people be threatened by my presence and my musicality—just finding out people are talking about you behind your back. I even have a track called “Hatin’ on Me” and that song is dedicated to those people…[It’s for the people] in the ballroom scene because it’s so easy to be shady and for people to have fun with it—the art of reading people. It’s sort of accepted in a way and throwing a shade is accepted in the ballroom scene. It’s something everyone does.

TV: Speaking of the ballroom scene, have you noticed having to push against the internalized misogyny of a predominantly male scene?

AB: I think it’s kind of that too, because I’m a female, but I exude a masculinity, even though some of my songs are hyper-feminine [in their sound and content]. But the way I live my life [on the surface to other people] is as this aggressive woman and that’s why the name of my album is Memories of an A.G., like “Memories of an Aggressive Girl.”

TV: How’d you get involved with the ballroom scene? Especially as a woman, I’m sure that must’ve been somewhat difficult.

AB: Being a queer POC in Jersey... I was first introduced into the ballroom scene when I was 14-years-old and a kid coming out of the closet. I definitely grew up as gay and my family knew I was not attracted to males at a young age... [Then, I started going to these parties at legendary New Jersey gay club] The Globe... that’s where I met Mike Q, who’s my best friend now, fast forward 10-plus year. Just being associated with Mike and always going to his parties and diving headfirst into the culture [led to me really ingraining myself in the scene]. Plus, sometimes you just cling to other people that are like you, and once I saw everyone could be safe and themselves there, I just always wanted to be a part of it.

TV: How’d your family react to you joining the ballroom scene?

AB: My mom, she always knew I was gonna be this way. Mom’s kind of know that thing. As far as the music goes, of course they just wanted me to continue college instead of diving headfirst into music, which was feeding my soul instead of my stomach. But I’d rather do something that makes me feel good versus an average 9-to-5. My mother loves the ballroom scene though. She’s an older lady who pretends to know how to vogue because she was out in the Madonna days. She’s definitely mad down to earth and she’s supportive. She’s never really doubted me in anything I’ve done. Even when I came out of the closet it was like, “Pass the butter.” It was like I was telling people something they already knew about me.

TV: Ballroom culture has become a big talking point in pop culture. Why do you think that’s happening now and what took so long?

AB: I think it took so long because people are not really open-minded and not ready for change. It had to be forced upon them. [People like us] were tired of being the last, being the bottom though, so they were like, “Okay, we need to create these platforms and do it for ourselves.” Now the other people are like, “Let’s just cling to it now, everybody’s doing it.”

TV: Not only that, but ballroom’s mainstream popularity has also sparked a conversation surrounding the appropriation of the culture. What are your thoughts on that?

AB: I think they consider me a newcomer as well though, so it’s kind of hard. I want to say I’m the only aggressive female though [in the scene]. I don’t know any other females who are lesbians who live the way I do. It’s mostly feminine girls or femme queens and [trans women]...those are those the mainstream. That’s who they’re used to hearing. So when they hear my voice, they kind of don’t accept the person who comes with the voice. The [most visible parts of the] gay community seems like it’s mostly male...especially in the ballroom community. Even though they all strive to exude femininity. Everyone’s game is to exude femininity, but my type of femininity [isn’t common]. I look like a boy and I sound like a boy. But I openly say I’m a woman and I openly identify as a woman.

[I get so much shade]. A lot of the time, people will ask if I’m trans. Or they just call me a boy straight-up, and I’m like, “No, I’m a girl. It’s ok to call me Ashley.”

TV: Speaking of which, I found some of the lyricism in your new record pretty interesting, especially when you talk about your “Split Personality.” What inspired the writing of that particular song?

AB: It’s about the battle between my femininity and masculinity. [We] put everyone in a box. When you’re a gay woman or an aggressive female...they think [you identify with a persona typically associated with my look]. And then when they’re like, “Okay, you’re a masculine person, you think you’re a dude.” It’s never, “Oh, you’re a woman and you dress like a boy.” It’s automatically about personal questions. But I’m this female with a masculine voice, but I’m also Ash B., this feminine girl who’s doing the splits and voguing in the club while performing.

TV: For sure, the presumption is a lot. That said, is there another song you’re especially connected to?

AB: I like to sing and rap, so one of my finest works is “You Are.” It’s basically a song to my love—to the girl who’s like my muse...It’s so genuine, you can’t fake those moments. My whole project is just genuine moments that happened in my life that created a song. That’s why I made Memories of an A.G. Each song is a memory from my life. It’s my journal.

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