Apple WWDC 2018: The 4 Biggest iPhone Improvements for iOS 12
Every year, Apple hosts a Worldwide Developers Conference, formally called WWDC and informally called Nerd Jams (by me, a nerd). Ostensibly it's the moment where developers learn how much they'll have to completely re-engineer their products to work with a fickle master; really, it's the chance for the masses of iPhone-shattering schmoes like you and me to see exactly what the House of Jobs has been up to lately.
Sometimes, WWDC is groundbreaking and Apple will launch big-deal hardware, like the iPhone 4. I just watched the launch video from 2010, and it felt like when you nostalgically boot up the N64 in your parents' attic only to realize that Banjo-Kazooie does not look as good as you remember it. Similarly, we play Jenga on our phones much less than Steve Jobs suggested we would.
There were no mind-melting launches this year. But here are the biggest changes to the iPhone that we'll see (via iOS 12, due later this year), what they mean, and why you should (or don't need to) care.
A concern for your mental health
Why you should care: Apple introduced a few different ways to help addicted users (read: all of us) use our phone a little less. It takes their Do Not Disturb feature and augments it with a few more options and skills, like grouping similar notifications or shutting your phone down while you are in a specific location. This makes it easier to turn it off while entering a meeting or dinner with friends, knowing it'll flip back on when you leave. With the new Screen Time feature, you can see just how long you spend on specific apps and access Parental Controls that limit your kids' phone time. There are also two sleep-focused features that prevent notifications from turning on your bright screen at night and a mode that holds back all your notifications until you're good and ready for them in the morning.
As a parent, there are more tools to protect your child from becoming a character in the spaceship in Wall-E. As a person, an acknowledgment that using your phone all day has serious effects on your life, and a way to help curtail it.
Think Different Score: 7/10. The full suite of Apple's brain-savers, led by Screen Time, mirrors Facebook's supposed reboot around the Zuckerbergian phrase "Time well spent"; and a larger recognition by Silicon Valley juggernauts that their products are quickly being tied to the rabid tech-addict malaise eating away at our souls. Google's already updated Android phones with a slew of similar brain-protecting features, like bundling notifications and the ability to turn off phones in a specified location. And you can already use apps like my favorite, Moment, to help limit phone usage. But Apple's built-in functionality means less hacking the system and hopefully a future in which humans don't suffer from phantom notification vibrations.
Group FaceTime
Why you should care: You and up to 31 of your closest acquaintances can now FaceTime all at once. Your boss will likely abuse this function, particularly when you're on vacation. And your most annoying friend just got another weapon in his war chest. Prepare yourself for two weeks of group video chats with bewildered people who wished they hadn't picked up and then, hopefully, far less.
Think Different Score: 1/10. Google Hangout and apps like House Party have tried group video for years, but video chat and conference video have always been terrible. The demo video gives us no insight into how seamlessly Apple's version will work. And anecdotally, I feel like Facetime freezes at least once a conversation; I shudder to think what will happen when I replace my face with an Animoji and add 30 more people into the mix. But if it's good, it'll be a game changer. For better and for worse.
Augmented reality is more fun
Why you should care: Augmented reality—where data and visuals are integrated into what you can see in the real world, versus virtual reality, where everything is fake—is still in its early stages, and most apps still feel gimmicky. But it's likely that you'll find yourself using AR more than VR in the near future, and Apple's new Measure app is the perfect example of why. Aim the camera at an object, draw a line around it in the app, and the app spits out measurements that (presumably) are take-them-to-Home-Depot accurate.
Think Different Score: 5/10. Soon, when iOS 12 launches (likely in September, with the next iPhone models), you'll stop guessing if that couch will fit in that corner or if that TV will look too big on that wall. In the more distant future, apps will find clever ways to use your coffee table in order to play; already, the Lego showcase today showed off some fun mulitplayer features that my brother and I schemed to purchase immediately. Somewhere in the middle of all this innovation thousands of men will utilize the waterproof iPhone X to accurately measure their penis in the shower.
Apple WWDC Memoji
Apple CEO Tim Cook Kicks Off Worldwide Developers Conference
Launch: Animoji, Part II
Why you should care: Apple announced Memoji, pronounced me-mo-jee. It's like a Frankenstein of Nintendo Mii and Bitmoji—basically, custom Animoji that you can make look like you. Speaking of, Apple also dropped four new Animoji: ghost, tiger, koala, Tyrannosaurus Rex. No iPhone X owner has used Animoji after the first two weeks, but the re-up will buy you another two weeks of amusement. You need to be ready for the T-Rex Animoji. Don't get blindsided by it.
Think Different Score: 3/10. Somehow Apple has spent the last two years talking about Animoji about 50 times more than they deserve. They're mildly funny, and best used when you don't want to show your face on the screen. Memoji will double down on that functionality
