I'll Always Need My Mother
Mom,
You probably didn't even give it a second thought. After all, it was such a typical mom thing to say. But your words struck me then and have stayed with me since. It was two years ago and you were taking care of me in the hospital just after I had given birth to Bayla. You said, "See? You will always need your mom, and Bayla will always need you." Such a simple statement held so much truth. Even though I became a mom, I still needed you just as much, if not more. We both had no idea at the time that only 10 months later I would be learning to live without you.
When I left home for college, I called you every day. You used to say that most college kids need to be prompted to call home once a week, but not me. Well, why not? You were my best friend and we always had something to talk about. And let's face it: You felt the same way, because you took me on my first trip to Europe that spring so it could be just the two of us during my school break.
Fast forward 10 years and our daily phone calls turned into daily FaceTime so you wouldn't have to go a day without seeing Bayla. (Don't worry, Dad has since taken over this routine for you.) And even though it's been over a year without you, I still can't fight the urge to call you to pass the time when I'm running errands, to tell you a funny story, or simply to hear your voice.
After Bayla was born, I used to joke that I had no social life because I spent what little free time I had with you. Despite the fact that your health was declining, you and Dad would drive the two hours to visit us. You were exhausted, you had to wear oxygen, and you were frustrated that medication wasn't helping. Despite this, I had never seen you happier than in your new role as a grandmother.
Thank you, Mom, for spending the last year of your life teaching me to be a mom. I hope that when Bayla grows up, she wants to spend as much time with me as I did with you. And thank you for giving her a lifetime of love in just 10 months. You know that "Lambie" you bought her when I was pregnant? She sleeps hugging it every night. She also sees framed photos of you holding her every day. Even though Bayla won't be able to recall memories of her Nana Jo, I promise she will always know how much you loved her.
Love,
Lexie
Lexie Sachs is a Senior Product Analyst in the Textiles, Paper and Plastic Lab at the Good Housekeeping Institute.
This is part of a special series, "Thank You, Mom," highlighting letters of gratitude from celebrities and notable writers leading up to Mother's Day. To view the full collection, which will be added to throughout the month of May, go here.
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