Here’s How to Get Out of Debt—No Matter What Got You Into It

While most Americans (yes, most) have some amount of debt, it’s women who are stuck with the largest share. Research finds that women owe more than men when it comes to credit cards, medical bills, and student loans. (We owe almost $400 billion more in student loans than our male peers, to be exact.)

And the pandemic has tipped the scales even more drastically—so much so that the economic downturn caused by COVID-19 has been dubbed the “she-cession.” Nearly 3 million women have left the labor force in the past year, giving up income in order to take care of children or other relatives.

And because even in better times, we’re also paid less than men, more frequently denied raises, and have, oh, those aforementioned children and dependents to support—it can be difficult to get out of the debt trap.

But it’s not impossible. We spoke to experts about how to get out of debt in some of the areas that can hurt women most. But before we get into the specifics, know this: The fact that you have to deal with debt doesn’t mean you're an irresponsible person or that you’re “bad with money.” Even people who were set up to weather a financial setback before the pandemic have had their lives uprooted by this once-in-lifetime global catastrophe. So be kind to yourself. Beating yourself up for being in a bad situation isn’t going to make it easier to get out. What will help, explains financial guru Tiffany “The Budgetnista” Aliche, is making a plan. Aliche’s new book Get Good With Money offers a 10-step “master class” in what she calls financial wholeness. But whether or not you take her exact advice, it’s critical to deal with financial problems in real time. “The bill will come due,” as Aliche puts it. “And the only thing you can do to cope with your anxiety around that is make a plan.”

We’ve outlined some strategies for doing just that. Whether you're recovering from divorce or loans or job loss, here’s how to get out of debt, face the bills, and devise a plan to get your finances back on track—even in the middle of a pandemic.

If you’ve had a medical emergency

On average, women owe 10% more in medical bills than men do. The reasons are complex, from endometriosis complications to a broken bone, but hospital bills or E.R. visit fees can add up and lead to debt. But Carolyn McClanahan, M.D.—who started her career as a physician and is now a certified financial planner who runs the financial planning group Life Planning Partners Inc.—wants people to know that those bills shouldn’t always be taken at face value. “The first step to fixing medical debt is to ask for an itemized bill and make certain the bill is correct,” she says. “Medical bills are riddled with errors, and you may be charged for services you did not receive. The next step is to negotiate. One leveraging tool can be offering to pay in cash. The provider will often charge you less than what they will charge the insurance company if you have the cash to pony up.”

Also make sure you look into all payment plans and financial-system options. “Many hospitals have programs to provide help for those with limited financial resources. The hospital will require detailed financial information, but the cost reduction can be significant if your request for help is approved,” says McClanahan.

Jenifer Bosco seconds that. In an interview with NPR, the National Consumer Law Center attorney advised those with medical debt to call the hospital where they were treated ASAP to see if they qualify for a financial assistance policy. Even if you don’t qualify, Bosco added, be persistent in advocating for a better deal. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you keep paying your other bills. Federal law blocks credit bureaus from putting medical debt on your credit report unless it is more than six months overdue to give you time to negotiate. With that cushion, be sure you’re on top of other bills that could more immediately affect your credit score.

If you’ve gone through a divorce

After a divorce, the average woman’s income decreases by more than a fifth and can take awhile to bounce back. One factor that can contribute: your debt as a couple. It’s common knowledge that assets are divided during a divorce, but fewer people know that debt gets split up too. So if your spouse racked up debt while you were married, you could be stuck with some of it even after your split.

But whether or not you’ll have to shoulder that particular financial burden, it’s important to think about what new expenses you might now have before you agree to a divorce settlement. Avani Ramnani, director of financial planning and wealth management at Francis Financial Inc., emphasizes that a settlement is a negotiation, and women should consider what they’ll need in both the immediate and the more distant future to feel secure.

“If you need a few years to polish up your job skills, or kick-start a new business, make sure you’re planning for it,” Ramnani says. “Ask for supplemental spousal support in the first few years—which typically means getting less later on—so you can meet any additional expenses for getting your career back on track without going into debt.” Or if you’re planning to stay at home with your children or have opted not return to the workforce for other reasons, “fight to get a larger share of the assets instead of more alimony. This gives you a more dependable cushion, and thus more control of your finances,” she says. And remember to pay attention to legal fees. As Glamour has reported, some attorneys will take a flat fee to handle your divorce while others charge per hour. Make sure you find the right lawyer for you and your budget.

If you’ve maxed out your credit card

Credit card debt hit a record high in the United States in 2017, with the Federal Reserve reporting it had surpassed $1 trillion. And a recent report from Experian found that the average household owes almost $17,000 in credit card debt. If your bills look too daunting to tackle, experts recommend starting with a simple budget; the exercise will determine what kind of expenses you can handle while paying down your debt as quickly as possible. Parse your spending to look for places to save (or download a budgeting app that will do some of the hard work for you). After you’ve outlined your monthly expenses, Priya Malani, a partner at Stash Wealth, recommends a little bit of math.

“Take a look at how much credit card debt you actually have, and then calculate how much interest you’re paying,” she says. “If you have $20,000 in credit card debt, each year you're spending an average of $3,500 to $5,000 extra in interest. Sometimes actually knowing that number—and using it as a scare tactic for those who can’t stop making big purchases—can be a big motivator to curb your spending.”

If you’re ready to make a life change, there are lots of tools to help. Credit Karma, Bankrate, and FinancialMentor offer easy-to-use debt-repayment calculators to help you map out your plan. You can also reach out to your creditors to negotiate payment terms and advocate for a lower APR (annual percentage rate). If that isn’t possible, consider whether you can consolidate your credit card debt to cut back on interest. One of the easiest ways to do this is with a balance-transfer card, which offers an introductory 0% interest rate on the amount you transfer to your new card and tends to have a low APR for the first year of use. Some of the highest-rated balance-transfer cards include the Chase Freedom Unlimited and Capital One SavorOne Cash Rewards Credit Card. Warning: Read the fine print. These cards can still charge you a small transfer fee, such as 3%, on the amount you transfer.

If you lost your job

As 2020 wound down, the U.S. reported 140,000 jobs lost in December alone. According to the National Women’s Law Center, 100% (yes, every single one) of those jobs belonged to women. The pandemic has made looking for a job—especially if you work in a heavily affected industry like travel or hospitality—demoralizing. Of the 9.8 million jobs that have been lost since the onset of the pandemic in 2020, women have accounted for 55% of them.

Whether or not you already had debt going into a job loss, know that you can work with your creditors to come up with a plan that takes into account your new situation. Business Insider explains that thanks to the Cares Act, many companies are required to offer customers options when it comes to paying off their debt—from reduced payments to interest-rate deductions. To find out what accommodations they may be able to make for you, get in touch.

Ashley Feinstein Gerstley, author of The 30-Day Money Cleanse, recommends Marie Kondo–ing your expenses. “Think about what expenses you can let go of while in this transition,” she asks. “As much as possible, if you can stick to spending on your debit cards, rather than increasing your credit card balances, you’re more likely to stave off debt.”

If you have student loans

The Biden administration announced that the coronavirus pandemic relief enacted under the Cares Act in March 2020 will be extended, which means that if you have federal student loan debt, you don’t have to make payments on that debt until September 2021. That should give you some breathing room as you assess your options. (That said, that doesn’t necessarily mean you should press pause on paying those bills if you'e in a position to keep making payments. The pandemic-related relief isn’t canceling student-loan debt, so that obligation will still be waiting for you when the regular repayment schedule resumes in October 2021.)

When it comes to student loan debt, there are more programs that can help than you might realize. “If your student loan debt is primarily or entirely federal debt, the first question to ask yourself is whether you may qualify for any loan-forgiveness programs,” says Janet Alvarez, the executive editor of small-budget website Wisebread. “One example is Public Service Loan Forgiveness, which forgives loan balances after 10 years of payments for public-sector or nonprofit workers. Many law and medical schools also offer such programs for their graduates.” If you don’t qualify for PSLF, there are other options to explore. “Enroll your federal debt in the IBR or PAYE repayment schemes, which offer reduced monthly payments tied to your income and eventually discharge you of any remaining balance after 20 years,” says Alvarez.

In the meantime, Alvarez, who has her own student loans, recommends using bonuses and tax refunds for repayment exclusively, and cutting expenses wherever feasible. If you have private student loan debt, consider refinancing your loans through programs like SoFi to enjoy lower rates and faster repayments. Bonus: Some companies will now help employees pay down their loans. Research found that 4% of employers provided student-loan-repayment assistance, while 8% of companies with 40,000 or more employees offer the service. Larger businesses like Fidelity, Aetna, Penguin Random House, and more now help with student loan forgiveness. If your workplace doesn’t offer this benefit, raise it the next time you’re renewing your contract or are up for a raise or a promotion. Cite these companies, and propose a meaningful plan. Odds are several coworkers are in similar positions, and the more normalized the conversation around debt becomes, the faster we can all pay it off.

No matter what

Whatever you’re dealing with, know that you’re not alone. Whether you have kids and are juggling remote learning or you’re single and having to confront a mountain of bills alone, this crisis is not sparing anyone. Of course some people are having a harder time than others, but as Aliche—the financial guru—explains in no uncertain terms: “Women across the board are drowning.”

And when women drown, she points out, they drown politely. “We don't want to splash water on you. We don’t want to kick you in the water by mistake. We don’t want to make a fuss and ruin the party for everyone else. Although it’s been touched upon, I don’t think people understand just how widespread this issue is. And when a woman drowns, so goes her family.”

For starters, if you’re struggling, reach out to friends and family for support. “People need to hear that it’s okay to admit that you’re having a hard time,” Aliche says. She’s had friends call her for advice and then suggest that they shouldn’t even be complaining at a time when so many others are dealing with grief and trauma. There is other help in your community—use food pantries and other such assistance; you may not think of yourself as “poor,” but your income is hurting, and this help is for you too.

And if you’re able to afford it, look into therapy and see whether your health insurance will cover it. “We can all play a part in normalizing how hard this is,” Aliche says.

Samantha Leach is Glamour’s former assistant culture editor; follow her on Twitter @_sleach. Mattie Kahn is the culture director at Glamour.

Originally Appeared on Glamour