'The Bachelor Winter Games' Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Kissing Bandits

Last week's Bachelor Winter Games may have been drama filled, but it's a new day in Vermont. And so much has changed! Yuki and Ben Higgins are best friends now. Luke's bragging that he and Stassi are the strongest couple there despite only being a thing for, like, a day. And there's a fresh competition ahead: downhill skiing. The rules are simple—don't fall or you'll get disqualified—so cue the montage of everyone falling.

Things start off OK with the women's competition. Clare is first, and she makes it down the mountain pretty quickly. But then there's Ashley who barely through the course before Hannah Storm decides she's disqualified. Same for Bibiana. And Stassi. And Yuki. And...you get the idea. Just know that everyone's disqualified until Lily. Because she's a snowboarder, she has some skill—but it's still not enough to beat Clare's time. Then, in the last run, Lesley wins. That means she gets a date card, and we all know who's on the receiving end of that: Fuckboi Dean.

When the men compete, Luke starts off strong. Jordan does OK. But Courtney, Josiah, and Michael all fall and get disqualified. Dean shows off (ugh), even finishing the course backward.

So, Dean and Lesley won both date cards and for a brief, terrifying moment I think we'll have to give them double the screen time. Instead, they plan to give the other date card to a "lucky" couple. Naturally everyone thinks they deserve it, but my fingers are crossed for Courtney and Lily. However, the producers—oh, sorry, I mean Dean and Lesley—decide Ashley and Kevin need to talk privately or whatever.

Fine, let's get this over with. Ashley puts on her best Bad Sandy from Grease costume to, one assumes, signal to Kevin she's ready for sexin'. When she brings up "the virgin thing," he chews slowly as he thinks over how to respond. Basically, he can't imagine waiting until marriage to have sex, but he respects that she's been waiting for the right guy. They don't discuss whether he's the right guy or not, but they do make some pottery together and share the obvious Ghost-inspired kiss.

Back at the house, Clare continues to grouse about Christian, the man she picked over Benoit but also hates? They finally have their jacuzzi date and what do you know Clare's disappointed that Christian, someone she has zero connection with, won't kiss her.

Here's the thing: We've spent A LOT of time on Clare and Christian and Ashley and Kevin and Lesley and Dean. What are Josiah and Ally up to? How does Yuki spend her nights? Why can't Lily and Courtney get a damn date card? And who is Michael?! There are so many other things going on in this house I'd rather see.

The rest of the cast seems to agree because while Dean and Leslie are out on their date, everyone talks shit about them. Perhaps their ears were burning because even Lesley tells Dean she's afraid to fall too hard considering his behavior on Bachelor in Paradise. He gives her a non-answer, but she seems satisfied with it so there you go.

Meanwhile, Tiffany's ready to go. There's nobody here for her, so why stick around this crowded cabin? She makes a convincing argument—even Ben Higgins starts debating whether or not to stay. He has a heart-to-heart with Ashley about it and admits the idea of dating again feels like a drag. Sure, he wants a relationship and kids one day, but he still hasn't moved on from his breakup with Lauren. So, time for Ben Higgins to head home. His goodbye is way, way more drawn out than poor Tiffany's. Multiple people cry, many hugs are shared, and sad country music plays.

Oh, and now Michael's leaving too? And he has a little speech prepared and everything? Wow, this is the most we've heard from him all season! And yet, the door has barely closed on Michael before Chris Harrison shows up asking Yuki to leave. I don't know who's more teary about this: Yuki or Ashley I.

That night, there's still a rose ceremony even though all the people who weren't coupled up have left. Not a problem, though, because Chris Harrison says they'll all be competing in a kissing competition instead. Two couples will leave based on the judges' scores. After hearing this, the couples break off to go practice making out...except Christian, who still won't kiss Clare. They decide to just say goodbye rather than go through a whole competition. Thank God. Byeeee.

After those two leave, we meet the judges: JoJo, Rachel, and the "kissing bandit" himself, Arie. Naturally, Luke, Dean, Josiah, and Bibiana aren't too happy they have to make out in front of their exes.

So now that everything's good and awkward, it's time for Dean and Lesley to prove their kissing skills. They prepared a choreographed routine, complete with suggestive dance moves and a bow at the end. The only problem, as Rachel points out, is they don't actually kiss that much. Compare that to Ashley and Kevin. They really go for it, even earning a standing ovation from Arie, JoJo, and Rachel. Courtney and Lily, however, take a more playful, goofy approach and again I ask: Why aren't we getting more screen time with them!? They are a delight. Next, Jordan and Bibiana opt for a slow and steady kiss. It's kinda hot until you notice that Ally looks like she's going to barf...oh, and then she does. Poor Josiah—Ally would literally rather puke than kiss him.

After Ally's done throwing up, Josiah tells her he still wants to kiss—post puke breath and all. It's a gesture romantic enough for Ally that she's willing to give it a go. It's fine. Last up is Stassi and Luke, who have what JoJo describes as a "soft" and "patient" kiss.

Everyone departs so the judges can debate who should leave. I have to say, it's really jarring seeing Arie interact with JoJo and Rachel. They're so dynamic and charming that it just highlights how much of a dud he is. Not that, uh, there was any confusion on that. Rachel rightly points out that Dean and Lesley's kiss felt juvenile, but all three agree that Kevin and Ashley were the sexiest. In fact, they're chosen as the best kiss of the night, meaning they get roses. Second place goes to Luke and Stassi. Courtney and Lily are just happy to get the bronze. Aww, these two. Jordan and Bibiana get the next rose, followed by Dean and Lesley, which means Josiah and Ally are out.

Damn. A lot of people have left this episode! To recap: Tiffany, Ben, Michael, Yuki, Clare, Christian, Ally, and Josiah are all heading home. Goodbye to you!

Next time: Skating! Dean in eyeliner! Nancy Kerrigan! Fantasy suites!