'The Bachelor' Season 22 Episode 10 Recap: Arie's in Love

With the two-hour "Women Tell All" special last night and the two-hour episode today, The Bachelor has eaten up enough time this week—so I won't take up anymore. Let's get straight to the recap. Spoilers ahead!

We're in Peru this week, and Kendall's got the first date. It should be interesting considering Arie describes their relationship with the same enthusiasm one uses to talk about an old college friend: "I love hanging out with Kendall. We always have fun together."

Kendall, meanwhile, is feeling lots of pressure to get on the same page as the other women—be ready for marriage, in other words—and it's like, Kendall, you know you have a choice in this, right? Has anyone told her she doesn't have to marry Arie?

Anyway, the date consists of riding around in a dune buggy because have you heard? Arie's into cars.

The fun ends when they nearly crash the dune buggy. "We almost died!" Arie says, with the manic laughter of somebody who might already be dead inside.

Going into the evening portion of the date, Kendall tells us she won't do the fantasy suite if she doesn't feel ready for a proposal. So, you're basically going to make up your mind in the next hour or so? As Bibiana would say to Krystal, "Why are you here?!"

Over dinner, Arie tells Kendall she's unlike any girl he's ever dated because he's always curious about her…and now I'm understanding why none of his previous relationships worked out. Kendall seems flattered by that, though, because she admits she's falling in love with him and accepts the fantasy suite. I guess she is ready for a proposal. They head to their room, where they make out aggressively.

The next morning, Arie and Kendall reveal that they were up all night talking about things like how they take their eggs—so, the important stuff.

But their time together must come to end because Arie has a date with Lauren B., or Lauren Boring as I like to call her. LB tells us she's stressed out, but you'd never know because this woman's expression never changes.

For their date, Arie and Lauren take a plane to look at the Nazca Lines and not talk. Arie can sense Lauren's in her head, and when they're back on land she admits she keeps pulling back because she's afraid she'll get hurt. In fact, it's so bad she has even considered leaving, and to stay she needs to feel like she's the only girl here. Arie's concerned, and not just about Lauren leaving: If he has to spend their whole time together reassuring her, that's time lost getting to know each other.

So, that evening, Arie straight-out tells Lauren he loves her. She tears up and accepts his proposal…to go to the fantasy suite. A strange cover of "How Do I Live Without You" plays, I guess to signal that this is some big love story. Or maybe they just needed a musical interlude since Lauren doesn't speak.

In the A.M., Arie and Lauren take their time lounging around in their pajamas and exchanging I love you's before he has to leave for his date with Becca.

When Arie greets Becca, they kiss for a moment and he does that moaning thing all the contestants have since complained about. Yuck, that is annoying.

For their date, they take a catamaran to Ballestas Island to look at birds, while internally Becca frets about how to tell Arie she loves him. The mood seems to be right for it: As they sail, Arie and Becca discuss logistics of how their long-distance relationship would work and how soon she'd move to Scottsdale to be with him. And that evening, when Becca tells Arie she loves him, he tells her that he loves her too.

So, to recap, Arie is in love with Becca and Lauren but only "falling for" Kendall. I guess we know how this episode will end….

Their fantasy suite date consists of camping in the desert. Stuck in the darkness in the middle of nowhere with only Arie for company? NIGHTMARE.

The next morning Becca still can't believe Arie told her he's in love with her. Everything seems perfect…until her ex shows up at Arie's door. Apparently he didn't realize this show ended in a proposal until "somebody told me," so he's here to try to win her back. I know this dude thinks this is a big romantic gesture, but I'd be so pissed if it took signing on to a reality show for a guy to realize he wants to be with me. Like, you should know I'm the one even while we sit on the couch watching Netflix and eating Taco Bell. If falling in love with Arie (of all people!) is the biggest threat to your relationship, it's not meant to be.

Basically, this dude feels that this proposal is "his to give," to which Arie asks him whether or not he's just inspired by the "competition side of things." Arie also correctly points out that this ex talks about Becca without really taking her feelings into account and that he (Arie) can't speak for her. Arie's mad as hell about this turn of events—Becca and her ex broke up a year ago, so why is he just now showing up claiming he wants to propose?

When the ex knocks on her door, Becca's immediate reaction is, "No, like, what are you doing here?" She won't even let him into her room. "I feel like you're not excited to see me," he replies. Yeah, no shit. The proposal doesn't go much better: She makes it very clear this move was not wanted.

After, Becca and Arie meet up to recap. Arie's concerned that there might be unfinished business between them, but Becca swears there's nothing left there.

Arie's still conflicted, but when he gets to the rose ceremony he pulls Kendall aside to break up with her. She takes it surprisingly well—a full tear isn't shed until she gets in the car. So we have our finale: Becca or Lauren. Who will it be?

Next week on The Bachelor: Arie feels guilty! Somebody's crying! Three hours left!