Actually, “Dear Abby,” I Like My “Foreign Name” Just Fine, Thanks
Dr. Simran Jeet Singh, a writer, educator, and activist who works to promote the understanding of Sikhism in America, resurfaced a “Dear Abby” advice column from September on Twitter this week, in the form of his own query. “Dear Twitter,” he wrote, “A famous advice columnist is telling people to whitewash their kid’s names if they want to be accepted. How should I tell her that’s wrong and racist?” The column in question is one in which “Abby” (formerly Pauline Phillips, who went by Abigail Van Buren in her syndicated column, and now Phillips’ 76-year-old daughter Jeanne) addresses the concerns of an Indian father who is struggling between his wife’s desire to give their future children Indian names and his to assimilate. “My wife, who was born and raised in India, is insisting on Indian names for our children,” the questioner (“Making Life Easy”) began: “The problem is they are difficult to pronounce and spell. I’m not opposed to Indian middle names, but think traditional ‘Western names’ may be more suitable, since we will live in the United States. How can I make my wife understand that having ‘unusual’ names makes certain aspects of kids’ lives more difficult?”
In response, “Abby” agreed, and advised that he and his wife stay away from Indian names in general. “Not only can foreign names be difficult to pronounce and spell, but they can also cause a child to be teased unmercifully,” she warned. “Sometimes the name can be a problematic word in the English language. And one that sounds beautiful in a foreign language can be grating in English. I hope your wife will rethink this. Why saddle a kid with a name he or she will have to explain or correct with friends, teachers, and fellow employees from childhood into adulthood?”
As someone who has long contended with an Indian name I’ve had to learn to find beautiful, I can attest that, over time, it has ultimately made me feel proud of my heritage and prouder, in part, to contribute to the mosaic of American identity alongside other Indian Americans and people of color representing cultures far and wide. Let’s not forget, also, that people of color are increasingly becoming America’s majority, making Abby’s advice—concerning a child who hasn’t even been born yet, and hopefully will be into a more accepting, open-minded world—particularly backwards. To imply, too, that a Western name will help relieve them of having to eventually answer to other questions and assumptions about their culture or background is misguided, and, in any case, won’t make them any more “American” to those with preconceived notions about race. As one Twitter user pointed out, “Remind her that we recently had a Barack Hussein Obama as President of the United States.”
Other Twitter users were similarly outraged, and have since deemed Abby’s response as dangerous, whitewashing advice. Some of their responses, below:
