Here's How to *Actually* Get Your Crush to Like You Back
They're always on your mind, you blush every time they talk to you, you dreamt of what a date night with them would look like... chances are that you have a hardcore crush. While you may love dreaming of your future from afar, you probably also wish they were an active participant in this blossoming relationship. But before you happily ride off into the sunset together, you have to figure out how to get your crush to like you back.
Bae may need a bit of encouragement to see you as more than a friend. After all, it can be hard to tell if someone is interested in you unless you just straight up ask them. Luckily, there are tons of things you can do to help turn your sweetie into an S/O, from listening to their interests and classic flirting to peppering them with compliments. All it takes is a bit of bravery and confidence to secure your crush's attention (and affection!).
Keep scrolling for our heart-winning tips on how to get your crush to like you back
Put yourself out there
We know it can be super scary, but sometimes you just have to make the first move. You can't expect your crush to read your mind and figure out on their own that you're majorly crushing. Ask them out on a study date, go out of your way to talk to them, or invite them over for a movie marathon. Once they see you're interested, they may just return the feelings, and everything will fall into place. Don't wait around for years for your crush to look your way — make things happen.
Make subtle gestures
Even the most discreet expression can grab your crush’s attention. Compliment their outfit, or smile and say hi when you pass them in the hall. After school, keep things flirty over text or Snapchat. It could be as simple as asking a question, sending a silly joke or meme, or congratulating them on a recent win if they play sports.
Spend time with them — but don’t go overboard
It might sound pretty obvious but try to spend time around your crush, without coming off too strong. If you're just lusting over them from afar, they won't get a chance to get to know how awesome you are. Sit next to them at lunch, ask them to be your gym partner, or even suggest hanging out over the weekend. The one-on-one time will give you two the chance to bond and connect, opening up the possibility of a mutual attraction.
Listen
While you should, of course, share info about yourself, make sure you're also listening to your crush (not scrolling through TikTok on your phone while they tell you about their siblings). Ask questions, remain engaged, and take note of what they say. Your crush will really appreciate it when you send them a text wishing them luck on the test they casually mentioned a few days before.
Find out what your crush is passionate about
If you want to ~really~ get to know someone, find out what they care about. If you see your crush is volunteering at Planned Parenthood, ask them what draws them to the organization, or maybe see if you can volunteer together. Asking questions about what is important to them will not only make you feel closer to them but will also help you understand what type of person they are.
Make eye contact
Nothing is worse than being on a date and they never look at you. Our advice? If you like someone and are sitting across the table from them, keep eye contact throughout your entire conversation. You don’t have to stare at them while they’re shoving food in their mouth, but avoid looking down when you’re talking or looking around the room or at your phone, especially when they're talking. If you look away from them, it’ll make you seem uninterested or signal to your crush that you’d rather be anywhere else. Besides, eye contact will also make you appear more confident, which will only make you appear more attractive to them.
Don’t play mind games
It’s not worth anyone’s time, and one (or both) of you could get hurt. Waiting hours — or days — to text back, consistently trying to make them jealous, or ignoring them could just drive this person away. Mind games seriously complicate matters, and navigating a crush is already difficult enough. Save yourself the mental energy. Trust us.
Be yourself
One of the worst mistakes you can make while flirting is pretending to be someone you’re not actually IRL. Here’s the thing, if you’re pretending to be someone you think your crush will like, then you’re doomed if they start to like this version of you because it’s not you. Seriously. From the second you start hanging out with your crush to when you ~eventually maybe become official~, be yourself because you want your crush to like YOU, not a version of you that you're pretending to be.
Show off your personal style
It’s so important to be yourself when getting to know someone, and that translates directly over to how you dress. Don’t just throw an outfit on because you think they’ll like it, or because everyone else is wearing it. Dress for yourself! Your style could even be a conversation starter, if you're rocking your favorite band tee, it's an easy way to express part of your personality and give them a conversation starter.
Put your phone down
This should go without saying, but put down your phone when you’re with your crush. Your time is precious with them, and you’re obviously going to text your BFF everything afterward anyway. So, the TikTok FYP and group chats can wait — be present with your crush. Ask them questions. Tell them about yourself, your favorite books, and your dreams. Don’t be distracted. Give them your full undivided attention. They’re your crush, after all — they deserve it.
Talk to your friends about them
This will help give you perspective on your ~crush situation~. Tell your besties about what you talk about together, and what they text you. You don't have to share everything of course, but friends can be really helpful in giving you perspective on the whole situation since when you’re crushing on someone it’s hard to see things objectively. Maybe they like you more than you thought. Or maybe, you don’t like them as much as you initially thought when you first laid eyes on them in volleyball practice.
Don’t force conversations
While it’s great to be open and vulnerable with your crush, you don’t want to overshare or push them too much. The get-to-know-you stage is one of the most exciting of any new relationship, and there’s no point in rushing through that. Yes, word vomit can be very real — but try to let some subjects come up naturally in conversation.
Vocalize what you appreciate about them
Try to be genuine about this. Is it the way they walk into math class and almost always sit next to you? Is it the ideas they contribute in English class? A sport they excel at? The way their hair falls? What is it about them that bombards your thoughts? What makes them special? This is sometimes harder to pinpoint than you think, but once you do figure out what exactly it is, don’t be afraid to tell them. Everyone loves hearing compliments, and your crush would probably be nothing but honored to receive an earnest compliment from someone as amazing as you.
Never forget your self-worth
Just because you have a totally consuming crush, doesn’t mean you’re any less strong emotionally. Remind yourself of this before your first date, and, hopefully, as you eventually become closer with your crush. There is so much to like about you…. How would anyone not crush on you? Never feel like you need to convince someone to like you. Anyone who doesn't like you for you isn't worth your time.
Now, you got this. Go be confident. Be self-assured. Put your best convo-starters to work and text your crush about their weekend plans.
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