Okay, so this wasn't *technically* on VPR, but it's too absurd not to include. This TikTok caption about it says it all: "Imagine knowing in 2006 that this random guy from a model casting on The Hills would eventually cause one of the biggest scandals in Bravo history." And judging by that glare, LC called this yearsss ago.

One more oddly specific Sandy moment that wasn't on the show, but still deserves a special shoutout: In this 2002 video for "Misunderstood," he plays a guy...who got caught...you guessed it...cheating on his (very blonde) girlfriend. You can't make this stuff up.

'Member when James and Lala argued about stolen noodles in season six for what seemed like an eternity? I'm pretty sure it was illegal to enter an Italian restaurant without yelling "It's not about the pasta!!!" that entire year. 🤷♀️

You know it's bad when Jax rips off his chunky sweater. Who could forget when he showed up unannounced to Stassi's season one birthday party and caused a three-way shirtless fight between himself, Stassi's then-boyfriend Frank, and for some reason... Sandoval?

To this day, "I'm not really sure what I've done to you, but I'll take a Pinot Grigio" might be the most savage line in reality TV history.

ALL Vanderpumpies (can I call us that?) know exactly where they were when Stassi backhanded Kristen after finding out that Kristen hooked up with Jax (aka Stassi's boyfriend). Just look at that rage.

Jax also felt Stassi's wrath when she dug her key into the side of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive trashed his apartment and drank $600 worth of his Champagne. Gotta love a petty queen.

Kristen threw hands of her own a few seasons later, when things between her and James got...intense. Lol at the random guy smoking inches away like he's watching Fight Club.

While in Hawaii with the gang, Jax spent the night in jail after getting caught stealing a pair of sunglasses from Sunglass Hut and felt "like an idiot." His words, not ours!

How I imagine a SUR job application goes: "Bartending experience, perfect hair, and the ability to lay nude in a pile of fruits and flowers like a drunken Adam and Eve."

Again...this is for a waitressing job???

We'll simply never get over "Good as Gold." And Scheana's many, many on-camera performances that followed. Bless her.

I'm sorry, but James Kennedy being forced to DJ from the Tom Tom storage closet—while sitting on two stacks of toilet paper—will never not be funny.

Watch out for Kristen, all you (alleged!) cheaters of the world, because she will DM YOUR MISTRESS AND BRING 👏 HER 👏 TO 👏 YOUR 👏 WORKPLACE 👏.

I will never recover from Sandoval using Katie and Tom's dog as a tissue during their wedding. Even Butters' face is like, "Really, dude??"

When Jax got a nose job—you know, the deviated septum one his castmates have debated—we were treated to this glorious image of him making out with trying to eat a jelly donut. And how did he feel during this questionable moment? "Like $100 bucks." Because of course he did.

After his split with a certain blonde Pinot Grigio fan, he revealed a *gigantic* tattoo of a girl's face that looked exactly like her. "Its not...Stassi. Stassi, it's not you," he promised at the season three reunion. Whatever you say, Jax...

The group started Schwartz's bachelor party by getting dressed in drag and hitting the town. It ended with Sandoval crying and telling Schwartz he "deserves better" than Katie and that he should reconsider their entire relationship. So basically an ordinary Tuesday in the VPR universe.

You know what they say—the couple who pours beer on each other in Mexico stays together. Or maybe they don't. Yeah...they definitely don't. Yikes.

Nothing brings frenemies together like a good chat about murder, which basically went like this:

Ariana: Don't say I'm mean. I'm not mean. I'll f**king kill you.
Stassi: Like, how would you kill me?
Ariana: Well, it would be slow.
Stassi: Maybe we have more in common than we think because I like the thought of murdering people, too.

Yep, superrrr normal. Nothing to see here.

Pro tip: When your girl says she's ready for you to make a real commitment, that doesn't mean you get her a non-engagement ring, pop it on a chain, and tell her to wear it as a necklace. It will not go over well.

Is Sandoval good at playing the trumpet? No comment. Did he take over James and Lala's recording session to, as he put it, "lose himself in the music?" Sure did.

Tom and Tom arrived to the opening of Tom Tom, well, like this.

And the award for most awkward breakup goes to...

No, seriously. Jax dumped Laura-Leigh after she invited him to her AA meeting. Also, they were caught by their boss hooking up on the job. And then they had to keep working together, which resulted in her driving away all of his customers by telling them that he's "a horrible person." 😬

We all remember when Stassi left VPR behind to start a new life in the Big Apple...and returned to the show pretty much immediately after. So when James got on his knees during the season five reunion and yelled "Oh, shut up Stassi! Look at you—you came crawling back from New York!" it was pure comedy gold.

Four words: Crop. Top. Wedding. Dress. *Chef's kiss*

Besides causing a scene in front of customers with Miami Girl, I believe Kristen's exact words to her manager were: "F**cking walk away now. Move your a**. You don't own the restaurant—move your a**." Yep, and that would explain why she was fired.

In perhaps one of the funniest moments to ever happen on this absolute roller coaster of a show, the kitchen staff were filmed having a full-on celebration after hearing the news. High fives and smiles all around.

This fully grown man wearing a popsicle shirt had the ~audacity~ to tell his crying girlfriend—who just asked him not to go to Vegas with his boys—the following, and I quote:

"I'm always going to be there for you. But apparently, he told me that we're going to a construction yard and we're taking bulldozers and, like, crushing sh*t with bulldozers." This explains so much.

Still cannot believe that Lala literally said, "I can tell that everybody here has NOT been working on their summer bodies!" to this group of people and yet is somehow still friends with them to this day. Somebody please explain because the math ain't mathing.

We all know that Jax cheated on Brittany (which, HOW DARE YOU?!) but in an even wilder turn of events, he kicked her out of their home for an intimate session with his hot Reiki expert. How did it go, you ask?

Cleaned the entire apartment before her arrival ✅
Bought her breakfast ✅
Told her to call him "Jason," not Jax ✅
Called her "The Jax Whisperer" ✅

Peak Jax. Errr, I mean Jason.

Congrats: You've officially made it to the most important part of this list. Please keep your hands and lightning bolt necklaces inside the Scandoval at all times.

Imagine having the guts to tell your friend (Katie) that you asked her ex-husband (Schwartz) to make out. With a smile on your face. And expect her not to react. Oh, and don't forget that this was all supposedly to distract everyone from the real Tom she was interested in.

And then imagine not letting up until you get what you want. Even after your friend cried about it in front of you...and brought in her own MOTHER to tell you to stop chasing after him. It's like the producers asked her how much of a villain edit she wanted and she just answered, "YES."

After Lala said she wouldn't trust Rachel Raquel around her man, she replied: "Well thank God you don't have a f**king man to have around." Umm, who is this and what has she done with "Bambi-eyed" Raquel?!

Ah, the calm before the storm. When Andy Cohen asked the question that kicked off this entire damn thing, nobody expected Raquel to vote for Sandoval. And the rest, well, you know.

I am now fully qualified for a job in the FBI after dissecting this for what feels like days. Did Scheana really give Raquel a black eye after finding out the truth? How did the punch land that hard when Scheana is like 50 feet shorter than her? I have QUESTIONS.

Fine, fine, fine. I know his band is actually called The Most Extras. But it's hilarious that in season 10, he admitted to actually paying the entire group to attend practice.

It still blows my mind that the name "Ariana" didn't appear ONCE in Sandoval's first apology. After all she did to support him and that mustache!!!!

And finally, just leaving this pic from 2014 here. No reason. 👀