Abbey's Road: Becoming a 'Cool Mom'
Confession: I have a bad habit of going thrifting when there are a thousand more pressing items on my to-do list.
Behind on laundry? Time for some thrifting!
Deadline coming up? Sale on pink tags at Goodwill!
Dust bunnies threatening to take over the dining room? St. Vincent de Paul called, they miss me.
I think it’s a coping mechanism and I don’t hate it. Thrifting is how I’ve come to acquire most of my wardrobe and furniture; it’s how I clear my brain without scrolling into oblivion; and it’s one of the cheaper forms of retail therapy.
Last week I had a pressing deadline and, rather than force myself to buckle down — I still had two hours, after all — I decided to head to the nearest Goodwill to “Look for Halloween costume accessories.”
(In my defense, this was partially true; Mr. Roy had everything he needed for his Indiana Jones outfit except a leather jacket. And who was I to let him down?)
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So I shoved my deadline into my mental “save for later” file and became laser–focused on the mission at hand.
My first stop yielded a middling leather jacket that might have worked for its intended purpose but wasn’t ideal. As any seasoned thrifter knows, however, I needed a minute to browse “just to see what else there is.”
And THAT, friends, was when I found it.
Not the perfect leather jacket; an oversized gray sweatshirt with two words on the front in black block lettering: “COOL MOM.”
I laughed out loud when I saw it and almost passed it by, because I’m the mom who looks like she rolled out of bed and just barely managed to swap out her PJ pants for leggings, freshened up with some dry shampoo and wears clothing that’s 20 years old (not in the “cool/vintage” sense; just that I’ve literally had it in my closet for two decades).
On this particular day, there was something about that shirt that was calling to me, besides the $4.57 price tag. So I did the thing where I carry it through the store for a while just to see if I change my mind.
Meanwhile, I was having a mental debate:
“Abbey, the only way for you to pull off a COOL MOM shirt is to wear it sarcastically. And anyone who gets it will get it, and anyone who doesn’t will think you actually think you’re cool, and then the joke will be on them because you haven’t aspired to something as frivolous as coolness in at least 15 years.”
Long story short, I bought the shirt. (Not the jacket.)
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I brought it home, washed it, and as a social experiment donned it that afternoon as I walked to the middle school to pick up my eighth grader.
It became a conversation piece among the school principal and a teacher, both of whom I made a point of stopping to talk to, as well as some parents with whom I am Facebook friends. (Because although I rarely post selfies, this shirt needed to be an exception.)
Bookworm emerged from the middle school doors, took one look at me and tried to pretend like she had no idea who I was. Unfortunately genetics and my motherly affection gave her away, but it didn’t take long for her to warm up to my latest fashion find.
By the time I swung the minivan around the elementary school drive-through, The Architect, 10, and Tiny, 7, were enthralled.
“Mom, I LOVE your shirt,” Tiny remarked. “You ARE a cool mom!”
Bless her heart, she actually meant it. I ran my hand through my dry shampooed hair and kissed her cheek.
“Thanks, honey,” I said.
I wore COOL MOM that night on an outing to the pumpkin patch with my parents, who voiced their hearty approval.
I may have gotten some sideways glances from strangers, but...their loss. I haven’t attempted anything as frivolous as coolness since…well, maybe not as long ago as I thought.
Abbey Roy is a mom of three girls who make every day an adventure. She writes to maintain her sanity. You can probably reach her at amroy@nncogannett.com, but responses are structured around bedtimes and weekends.
This article originally appeared on Newark Advocate: 'Cool Mom' thrift score is Abbey's latest fave
