91 Painfully Corny Jokes That Are So Bad They're Actually Good
We asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the corniest joke they've ever heard (and then threw in a few more from Reddit for good measure). Here are the hilarious results.
1.What do you call it when Batman skips church?
—Uyen-Phuong Nguyen (Facebook)
2.Why do scuba divers always fall backward out of the boat?
3.Why don't they play poker in the jungle?
—Chris Osborne (Facebook)
4.I saved up money for months to buy a limited-edition thesaurus. But when I opened it, all the pages were blank!
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
5.How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
6.Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
So that when they return to port, then can Scandinavian.
7.Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?
8.Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
9.Why do golfers wear two pairs of shorts?
10.What do you call the Children of the Corn's father?
—Rob McNeely (Facebook)
11.Why did the bicycle fall over?
12.What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
13.What did 0 say to 8? "Nice belt."
14.What do you call bees that produce milk?
15.And why was the frog at the bus station?
16.How does a squid go into battle?
17.A slice of apple pie costs $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
18.Why was the mermaid wearing seashells?
19.How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
20.How did the hipster burn his tongue?
21.What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
22.Why was the tomato embarrassed?
23.What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
Boo jeans.
And if those are dirty, they just wear a paranormal trousers.
24.Why did the picture go to jail?
25.What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
26.What did the drummer name her twin daughters?
27.How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
28.Justice is a dish best served cold. Because if it was served warm, it would be justwater.
29.What do you call a group of singing sheep?
30.What did the ocean say to the shore?
31.Why did the scarecrow get a raise?
32.6:30 is hands down the best time of day.
33.Why can't you use "beef" as a password?
34.What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
35.Why do elephants hide in cherry trees?
36.What do you call fake spaghetti?
37.Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
—Jennifer Venneri (Facebook)
38.What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her?
39.What do you call Irish furniture?
40.What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay?
41.What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
42.Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C.
43.What do you call birds that stick together?
44.Did you hear about the cheese factory in France that exploded?
All that was left was de Brie.
45.What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
46.What do you do when you see a space man?
47.Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?
48.What do you call an alligator in a vest?
—Nikita Khripunov (Facebook)
49.What do you call a sleeping dinosaur??
50.Why did Adele cross the road?
51.What do you call a singing computer?
52.I went to a wedding where two satellite dishes got married.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was AMAZING.
53.What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?
54.What's green, fuzzy, and could kill you if it fell out of a tree?
55.What do sea monsters eat?
56.What do you do if you see a fireman?
Put it out, man.
—7in7
57.Why did the old lady fall into the well?
58.What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race?
59.Who's bigger: Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby?
60.What do we want? Low-flying airplanes! When do we want them? NeeeeeOOOooowwwww!
61.What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
62.What do you call a factory that sells good products?
63.I remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket.
64.Why did the mushroom go to the party?
65.What's red and smells like blue paint?
66.Why aren't koalas considered bears?
67.What did one hat say to the other hat?
68.Why do mice have such small balls?
69.How do you think the unthinkable?
70.Why do melons have big weddings?
71.What do you call a group of unorganized cats?
—Pete Robles (Facebook)
72.What do you call a fish with no eyes?
73.Why did the stoplight turn red?
Because it was embarrassed to be changing in the middle of the street!
74.Where did George Washington keep his armies?
75.What's the best time to go to the dentist?
76.Why do fish live in salt water?
Because if they lived in pepper water, they would sneeze.
77.Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
78.The doctor's chart said my blood was type-A, but that was a type-O.
79.What's white and can't climb trees?
80.A guy strikes up a conversation with a lumberjack that he meets in a bar.
"How many trees do you think you've chopped down?" the guy asks.
"Exactly 2,742," the lumberjack replies.
"How do you know?"
"Because every time I chop one down, I keep a log."
81.What did the duck say to the bartender?
82.Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke?
Joke, joke, joooooooooooooke.
83.What happened when the red ship crashed into the blue ship?
84.Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
85.What's a pepper that won't leave you alone?
86.When is a door not a door?
87.What did one plate say to the other plate?
88.I met some chess players in a hotel lobby. They kept bragging about how good they were.
It was chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
89.I was eating at a restaurant when the waiter came to my table and said, "I see your glass is empty, would you like another one?"
I said, "Why would I want two empty glasses?"
90.How do you make a tissue dance?
91.What has four wheels and flies?
This article contains content from Kayla Yandoli, Spencer Althouse, Andrew Ziegler, and Andy Golder. It was compiled by Laura Frustaci.
