9 Tips to Help Kids Overcome Their Fear of Doctors

Is your child afraid of going to the doctor? We have ways you can help toddlers deal with visits to the pediatrician.

Medically reviewed by Lyndsey Garbi, MD

Few children love going to the doctor, but some kids are downright petrified. It's no surprise, considering that most young kids don't like being handled by an unfamiliar person or being in a new or intimidating environment, let alone the fact that there's a chance they might get shots.

Research shows that kids often feel helpless and uncertain or scared about what is going to happen to them in medical settings. But there are ways to help children feel more secure and less afraid of going to the doctor. Here are tips on how to help your little one feel safer and calmer during their next visit to the pediatrician.

Related: 8 Important Questions to Ask Your Pediatrician

Accompany Your Child

Do your best to be with your child for their doctor's visit, particularly if your child is afraid. While some parents need to have a babysitter, grandparent, or other care provider take kids to their doctor appointments, try to at least make the first visit or two, says Ari Brown, MD, a pediatrician in Austin, Texas, Parents advisor, and author of the Baby 411 book series.

"If a child sees that a mother or father is comfortable in the new locale and that the parent trusts the doctor, then the child will feel more secure," explains Dr. Brown.

Related: 7 'Scary' Baby Symptoms That Are Perfectly Normal

Practice at Home

Before you head to a doctor's appointment, familiarize your toddler with the tools your pediatrician uses by playing with a toy doctor kit. Put a toy stethoscope around your ears and pretend you’re listening to a stuffed animal breathe, or have your child practice opening their mouth and saying “aah.” Let your child pretend to be the doctor, too.

Using language your toddler can understand will help them be more comfortable and cooperative. For example, “We’re checking for boo-boos,” but say the correct names of medical devices and body parts so the terms don’t sound alarming if they hear the doctor or nurse use them at the checkup.

You can also familiarize your child with the process by reading a book about going to the doctor; try Corduroy Goes to the Doctor or Doc McStuffins Doctor Bag.

Related: 9 Things a Pediatrician Wished You'd Stop Doing

Try a Positive Spin on Going to the Doctors

Avoid giving your child too much warning about an upcoming appointment since this may lead to unnecessary worry or anxiety. Instead, wait until the morning of the visit—or even when you’re driving to the office—to tell them where you’re going.

Try to sound upbeat: “I’m excited to see your doctor. They take care of you and help you stay healthy and strong.” If your toddler wants to know whether they’ll get a shot, answer truthfully since lying is a surefire way to lose their trust. If your child is due for a vaccine, explain that they’ll feel a little poke in their arm, but point out that it will only hurt for a few seconds.

Tell your little one they can squeeze your hand the whole time and emphasize that the shot will give them “superpowers” against sickness. After the hard part is over, chat about the pleasant aspects of the visit, like getting stickers or a small toy when it’s done or what you’ll do afterward, such as go to the playground.

Related: Here's Why Childhood Vaccines Are Safe

Time Your Child's Doctor Visit Right

Avoid scheduling a doctor’s appointment that conflicts with your toddler’s meals or nap time, as they’ll probably behave better if they're fed and well-rested.

Since you never know how long you’ll have to wait to be seen, bring healthy snacks, small toys, coloring pages or books, your child’s lovey, and anything else you think will keep them occupied (and steer them away from the germ-covered waiting room toys).

Try asking your child which fish in the tank is their favorite or what they like about the framed pictures on the wall. Getting thinking about something else may help keep them happy and distracted.

Related: Tips for Traveling With Toddlers

Stay Close to Your Child

A toddler may feel vulnerable or scared if they're lying down on the table while the pediatrician towers over them. So, keep close to them. Even just touching your toddler's arm or holding their hand can help them feel safe.

Letting your child sit on your lap can also help make them feel safe and protected. Doctors and nurses generally have no problem checking vitals and doing most of an exam while a kid is cuddled up with a caregiver.

Related: Consent Counts, Even at the Doctor's Office

Give Your Toddler Choices

Let your child have some control by giving them options. Ask which chair they’d like to sit in or which arm they’d like to have their blood pressure taken on. You might even see if the doctor is willing to demonstrate a procedure on your child’s stuffed animal first so that they can see exactly what will happen.

During vaccinations, try engaging your child’s senses. Studies suggest that sucking on something sweet (like a lollipop or a pacifier dipped in sugar water), hearing a favorite song, or looking at interesting objects (like bubbles or a sparkly wand) can divert their attention, potentially reducing stress and pain.

Another tactic to keep your child calm is to pretend your fingers are candles, ask your child to breathe in with you, and then blow out the candles one by one. This technique can relax them, reduce their heart rate, and create a positive association for next time.

Related: Well-Baby Visits for Your Baby

Bring a Favorite Stuffed Animal or Toy

A pacifier or blanket can help calm your child, but a beloved stuffed animal or doll might go the extra mile in allowing the doctor to do a brief "practice examination."

Your child will see that nothing bad happens, so they'll probably be fine too. If they have older siblings who are not afraid of the doctor, consider asking if they would mind being examined first. Seeing a sibling go first will reduce the fear and encourage them to be brave.

Related: Weighted Stuffed Animals Are Trending

Offer Something to Look Forward To

How you respond after each doctor's visit can help create a more pleasant experience next time. When you leave the doctor's office, shower your child with hugs, kisses, and praises such as, "You did such a good job; I can't wait to tell Grandma or Daddy how brave you were," suggests Dr. Shifrin.

Another approach is to take your child to see a movie or to the playground after the visit. Just don't make the special treat a condition of good behavior. If your child can't control their anxiety, they'll feel bad for losing out or disappointing you. Also, point out any pleasant things that happened during the visit (maybe the doctor gave your kid a sticker or cookie) and repeat how proud everyone will be of them.

Related: When To Worry About Your Child's Anxiety

Trust Your Child's Instincts When It Comes To Feeling Afraid

When choosing a pediatrician, personality is as important as knowledge and expertise. Some kids will be afraid of any physician, but if your child seems truly scared of their specific doctor, not just the overall experience, ask your child to explain why. If you're concerned, consider talking to the office manager and other parents who may have the same doctor.

If your child's fears are grounded or they just don't seem to click with this particular doctor, feel free to look for a new one. Don't forget to ask other parents for their trusted recommendations.

Related: 10 Tips to Survive Your Child's Hospital Stay

Key Takeaways

Whether it's for a well-child visit or due to illness, taking your child to the pediatrician can be a stressful experience. It's very common for young children to be afraid of going to the doctor. However, there are numerous strategies, such as explaining expectations and what will happen ahead of time, that can help make the experience more pleasant for both of you.

Sources: Carrie Spindel Bashoff, Psy.D., a psychologist in West Orange, New Jersey; Kate Eshleman, Psy.D., a pediatric psychologist at Cleveland Clinic; Lisa Beltran, a certified child-life specialist at San Diego State University; Dina Roth Port, the author of Previvors: Facing the Breast Cancer Gene and Making Life-Changing Decisions

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