The 9 Biggest Mistakes People Make When Getting Engaged
By Madeleine Luckel
Engagement season is upon us. So if you do think that you’ll be proposing, or getting proposed to, over the holidays, it’s time to read up on avoidable mistakes. Below, we break down the nine biggest blunders.
Having It Be a Complete Surprise
Some brides-to-be may want to be shocked by the proposal, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But the question of whether both partners in a relationship actually want to get married at all probably shouldn’t first come up when one party is on bent knee. So discuss the matter beforehand, and establish that both parties are committed to each other for life.
Buying the Wrong Ring
Whether or not your girlfriend will like the ring shouldn’t be left as a surprise, either. After all, it’s a big investment, and she will be wearing it every single day for the rest of her life. So either involve her in the process, or ask for the help of her close family and friends.
Jumping the Gun
Yes, this means you probably shouldn’t get engaged on a whim after only dating for a matter of weeks. It also means calming your nerves before you pop the question. If you have a spectacular proposal planned, don’t let jitters make you blurt out the key line before the choreographed fireworks start to go off.
Forgetting the Ring
An obvious one, but there’s nothing worse, or more easily avoidable, than “will you marry me?” trailing off into a frantic session of patting down and turning out pockets. Check and double check. Just be sure it’s stashed somewhere where your soon-to-be betrothed won’t happen upon it by accident.
Hiding the Ring in a Drink or Food
You’re at a fancy restaurant, and the mood is set. The glass of Champagne—or perfectly confected cake—arrives with the ring inside as a surprise. But why risk chocking? Or just as importantly, why include the awkward moment of fishing out the brand-new rock, only to find it completely sticky and covered in gunk?
One Person Is Underdressed
You’ll regret underdressing for your own engagement as soon as you see the pictures. But this is a bigger caveat for men planning a surprise proposal. When your girlfriend rolls out of the house that day in sweatpants, consider somehow tricking her into changing. Or if you can’t pull that off, pack a bag with an extra outfit you know she loves in case she wants to quickly change before the celebratory dinner you have planned.
Not Making It Special Enough
You will both undoubtedly be asked time and time again—how did it happen? You may quickly regret it if your proposal is a complete non-story. Of course, an impromptu proposal on a lazy Saturday morning can be every bit as special as a grand affair, but know what your significant other is hoping for before you pop the question.
Proposing in a Crowd of Strangers
It’s really nice that you went to all that trouble to plan a parade, or lead your unsuspecting future bride to the top of the Empire State Building. But think twice about whether the two of you really want to be surrounded by strangers for one of the most intimate moments of your life. And another word to the wise: That flash-mob proposal trend has long-since died.
Going Overboard With Social Media Documentation
This is a big one. Your engagement shouldn’t be orchestrated around optimizing the likes of your subsequent social media post (and if it is, maybe you’re not getting engaged for the right reasons). Spend some time with just your betrothed before announcing your news to everyone in your collective social networks.
This story originally appeared on Vogue.
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