10 Intimate Positions That'll Bring You Closer Together
Exploring intimate sex positions can be a great way to reconnect with your partner, or cement a growing bond in a new romance. Some couples are happy with the occasional mutually-satisfying quickie, or a regularly-scheduled weekend session that relies on the same ol' reliable positions to get the job done (the "job" means an orgasm, in case that wasn't clear.) Others may rely on their trusty vibrators or an exciting toy every time.
Like all types of consensual sex, a routine that works is A-OK, and there's nothing wrong with sticking to the trusted missionary position, which can also be intimate. Yet research has shown time and again that trying new things together—both in and out of bed—helps keep the spark alive. So why not change up your positions once in awhile?
"If you try something new and it’s a flop, that can be positive, too," says August McLaughlin, author of GirlBoner: The Good Girl’s Guide to Sexual Empowerment. "Laugh together when things get wonky. The vulnerability, goofiness, and even messiness of sex can bolster intimacy, if we let them." And as any tantric sex expert will tell you, the big "O" doesn't have to be the goal; having fun is.
Light a few candles, set those phones to do-not-disturb, and prepare to rediscover each other with these expert-recommended best sex positions to try for intimacy and romance.
Seated Wrap-Around, aka the Seated Hug
Also known as the Lotus Blossom (as it's called in the ancient Indian sex guide the Kama Sutra), the Seated Wrap-Around requires you and your partner to embrace each other—ideal for romantically gazing into each other's eyes.
"You can also try this position without penetration or even aiming for orgasm," McLaughlin says. "Making out is highly underrated, and an incredible way to heighten connection and arousal. So if you do end up moving toward orgasm, it’ll be more pleasurable."
How to do it: One partner straddles the other partner while you both sit cross-legged. The top partner wraps their legs around the bottom partner as you face each other and embrace. The bottom partner enters the top partner vaginally with a toy or penis.
The Laptop
"There’s nothing more intimate than face-to-face, slow, deep penetration sex, and this position is one of my favorites," says Jennifer Baritchi, co-author of The Big Black Book of Sex Positions: Take Your Sex Life From Boring To Mind-Blowing in a Few More Than 69 Moves
How to do it: This one involves a bit of flexibility. The partner penetrating with their penis or toy sits in a (sturdy!) chair with his or her feet flat on the floor, while the other partner sits on their lap, facing them. Rest the backs of your knees on your partner’s shoulders, and your calves and feet on or over the back of a chair.
"You can grasp your partner's neck to help maintain your balance, but he or she should hold your lower back for support," Baritchi advises. "If you need to feel more stable, a slight variation would be to sit on a countertop or table and lean back onto your hands."
Classic Chair Sex Position
If The Laptop feels beyond the limits of you or your partner's coordination, no need to tempt a trip to urgent care for X-rays. Chair sex is a fun way to experience new sensations, even without mild acrobatics.
How to do it: One partner sits in the chair with his or her feet on the floor. The other partner straddles them, lowering themselves onto the penis or toy (the straddler can place both hands on their partner's shoulders to keep steady as they get situated). Then, holding onto their shoulders, neck, the chair, or nothing at all, move around to find what feels best.
Forward-Facing Cowgirl
This is a basic woman-on-top position—as opposed to backwards cowgirl, where the female sex partner faces away from her partner during penetration.
"This position offers a lot of variety, and the woman has more control over rhythm, vigor, and depth of penetration," explains Moushumi Ghose, therapist and author of Classic Sex Positions Reinvented: Your Favorite Sex Positions - 100 Wild and Erotic Ways. "These positions also emphasize a woman’s pleasure, as they suggest that she knows how to please herself and is happy to take the reins, 'riding' her partner as a cowgirl rides a bucking horse or bull." Yee-haw, indeed. Ghose adds that this is a good position for pregnancy sex, as well.
How to do it: The penetrating partner lies on their back, sits up on the edge of the bed, or leans back against a wall or headboard. The other partner rises up on her knees and either flings a leg across their partner's hips, or straddles them at the feet and inches up their body with one knee on each side. She then guides her partner's penis or strap-on into her and initiates the movement. "From this position, a woman can easily slide down between their partner's legs and give them some oral pleasure, or move her hips up over their face to enjoy some cunnilingus," Ghose says.
Sideways 69, a.k.a. Spooning 69
"Sideways 69 allows you to give and receive oral play while you’re positioned on your sides," says McLaughlin. "You can enjoy the closeness of spooning and the fun of mouth-to-genital play at the same time."
How to do it: Lie down on a soft surface, facing each other in opposite directions and aligning your bodies so each partner's mouth can reach the others' genitals. Then, you...you know, go to town. Happy spooning.
Breakfast Spoons
The spooning position isn't just for morning sex. But there is something romantic about turning a cuddle into some bed-rocking action before you've fully woken up.
How to do it: While lying down, one partner curls up to fit their body along the other's back side. The penetrating partner enters from behind, while the other partner should feel free to experiment with lifting or moving their outside leg to find the best angle. Making love from behind allows the penetrating partner to kiss their lover's neck, hold hands, or even provide clitoral stimulation with their hand or a toy.
Coital Alignment Technique (CAT)
Don't let the clinical name turn you off: McLaughlin emphasizes that "this position is wonderful for clitoral stimulation, which makes orgasms more likely for anyone with a vulva." Since it requires one person to put their full weight on the other's body, McLaughlin compares the stress-allaying feeling it can give to that of a weighted blanket.
How to do it: Start out in standard "missionary position," with the person with a penis or strap-on on top. That person will evenly distribute their weight over the bottom partner’s body and relax their muscles. Staying in close contact, the person on top should slide upwards, while their chin rests on the bottom’s shoulder. Tip: Keep your pelvises aligned (thus, the technical name), so the base of the penis or strap-on stimulates the other partner’s clitoris.
The Hound
Despite the name, this position has absolutely nothing to do with Game of Thrones—and, according to Ghose, it's probably the most intimate spin on "doggy-style."
"This position is great—from slow, deep thrusting and quick, shallow thrusts," Ghose advises. "Start slow, and then go faster. Alternate between deep and shallow. In this variation, there is more skin-to-skin contact, and breasts, nipples, clitoris, and anus are all within easy reach. One partner can nibble the other's ears, kiss their neck, or breathe dirty-sweet phrases down their back."
How to do it: Both partners are on their knees. The penetrating partner is on the outside, curling their body around the other person, entering from behind. The other partner rests on their forearms, and can swivel their hips to find the most comfortable, pleasurable angle of penetration.
Face-to-Face Sex Standing Up
"Face-to-face standing sex is great for intimacy and kissing," Ghose says, "though the one thing that's missing from many upright positions is the aspect of stability, which comes from a bed or flat surface."
How to do it: Both partners stand face to face; it might be helpful if the partner being penetrated is standing with their back against a wall with their legs apart. The penetrating partner stands between the other's legs, lifts one, and then enters. (Using a personal lubricant can make the mechanics of this position a little easier). The partner being penetrated can also bend their knee, placing their foot behind them on the wall for more support and traction during thrusting.
Especially athletic? You can lift both feet and place them on the wall. Ghose also suggests finding something to hold onto, such as a doorknob, railing, furniture, or even a doorway. "The closer the two are in height, the easier standing positions will be," she adds.
Face-to-Face Masturbation
"Little feels more romantic than locking eyes with a partner, especially when you’re pleasuring yourselves," says McLaughlin. "As a bonus, mutual masturbation allows you to show each other how you love being touched."
How to do it: Stand or lie down facing each other, then look into each other’s eyes as you each move your hands over your own body, focusing on your most erogenous parts.
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