73 Hilarious Online Gems That Had My Crying From Laughter All Month Long
August came as quickly as it went, and somehow, summer is almost over 😞. But before we head into the fall, take a look at some of the funniest tweets from this month:
And follow the accounts that made you laugh so your Twitter timeline will be even better!
1.
nicole kidman saved movie theaters that’s crazy
2.
lifelong friendship is so funny. I once saw you drink four loko out of an ugg boot and now you have a son named Arnold
3.
30+ gays looking at the VMA performer names
4.
good morning america
5.
college is so unserious, why my professor said—mid class—he’s done and about to go take a nap
6.
me making conversation with my friends boyfriend like i didn’t tell her to break up with him last week
7.
hbo max just deleted the night my parents got together
8.
the date was going well till we started talking about what we do for a living. he designs software that launches missiles and got real flustered when i asked where those missiles be going.
9.
Men be like I’m going blonde and it’s just yellow
10.
imagine being a squirter in the 1600s and they call you a witch
11.
*me on the brink of a mental breakdown*can you see my screen
12.
13.
my mom fell and hit her head last night. I texted my dad this morning asking for an update and this is what happened
14.
You should be able to call out of work if you had a really bad dream that ruined your day
15.
You are not a “smol bean” with the “zoomies” you are literally a 28 year old manager at Applebee’s
16.
Everyone I know is in a flop era rn so if you’re doing well literally keep that to yourself
17.
do NOT buy your jennette mccurdy book from shein ‼️
18.
“i wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy” y’all not real haters fr
19.
If these two ever split I’ll lose my mind.
20.
Even my enemies check to see if I’m still suffering https://t.co/IENoaMIiQb
21.
greys anatomy stans will be like “no just watch the first 10 seasons” like be fr
22.
every time an lgbt makes it out of food service an angel is born
23.
When you’re tryna sleep and she’s watching them loud ass TikTok videos
24.
i think each week therapists should pick their most entertaining client and refund the cost of their session
25.
Remembering when my dad learned of the top/bottom thing and said “I thought y’all just took turns” he was so real for that
26.
breakfast 😋
27.
hey you guys try those new vegan chicken tenders
28.
‼️FINALLY‼️
29.
Rebranding into a pick-me, sorry I need to be held!
30.
UNIQUE!
31.
My favorite dessert is peach cobbler because it sounds like a job a victorian orphan would have if he was gay
32.
thinking about when i worked in topshop fitting rooms, and i was SO bored on a dead morning that i got down on floor and pretended i’d fainted so i could get sent home, but nobody came so i had to stand back up and finish my shift
33.
“Should I start a podcast?” Brother we need more nurses
34.
35.
U.S. vaccine rollouts
36.
37.
what am I supposed to say when someone tries to hit on me and I’m in a situationship.. like “no no I am being fooled”
38.
me bullshitting the last hour of work
39.
bro wtf u said u were a “bad boy” so explain why i saw sensodyne in ur bathroom
40.
my brain waiting for me to get in bed so it can start terrorizing me
41.
edward cullen would’ve loved the diva cup
42.
Me staring at my man when he asks me what I wanna eat
43.
i asked my bf what he wished he could change about me and instead of saying something cute like “nothing, you’re perfect” he said “nut allergy”
44.
idk how much fuck it we ball i got left in me
45.
You could give me a job laying down and I would get up and quit
46.
Thinking about when I was 11 my brother told me I was gay if I like Madonna’s music and then I listened to one of her songs (hung up) and started crying because I liked it lmaoooo
47.
thinking about this again
48.
it’s my first day on a new team bc i got promoted and the first thing my new boss said is “wow i didn’t realize you owned clothes based on your instagram”
49.
Me at a donkey funeral
50.
writing a cover letter is so debasing like can i just give the hiring manager a blowjob instead
51.
me talking abt something that happened to me several times as a child my mom:
52.
my boyfriend was like “wow baby look at the full moon” and i replied “actually it’s a waxing gibbous” i can’t stand myself :/
53.
I’m so tired of going to sleep with my bonnet on my head . Then when i wake up, it’s in the living room watching tv.
54.
Never drinking again.
55.
-arriving in hell- me: omg it’s you! i’m a huge fan of your eggs.the devil:
56.
i unironically believe i’ve suffered more than jesus
57.
Too much RuPaul’s Drag Race 💀💀😶🌫️
58.
obsessed with these mommy and me lighters i got for me and my 3 year old 💕
59.
dressing slutty is fun til you gotta stop at the gas station before the function 😭
60.
saying “whose pussy is this?” with the same tone of voice you use when answering the phone
61.
What about being a stay at home mother screams “soft life”. Have you met children???
62.
"Did you cum?" Yeah to my senses... Pass me my crocs
63.
to the girl who shouted “little booties matter” while I was twerking, just know that was my 13th reason
64.
My coworker started crying because her boyfriend broke up with her through a text and my manager said “that’s why we stay off our phones at work” 😂
65.
66.
If the police are here to serve then why are their outfits so ugly
67.
Some of you all need top surgery (lobotomy)
68.
went to report your account but there is no option for "cringe" so i picked terrorism
69.
I tried to run away with her vape…
70.
“hung 4 hung” is funny to me, what’re y’all gonna do, braid em?
71.
72.
If you're 25+ you should not be in therapy. whatever is wrong is not going away
73.
summer isn’t over until september 22. put the pumpkin spice AWAY.
