7 Tips for Dining Out With Toddlers

Parents Editors, Brett Hill
·8 min read

Yes, you can eat out with your toddler. This advice will help you handle whatever drama your little one dishes out.

Recently, my extended family shared a meal at a boisterous Italian restaurant. Before our appetizers had arrived, my then 18-month-old nephew had spilled soda, played 12 games of "guess which hand the sugar packet's in," gone on a walking tour of the dining room, dropped two forks, and tried to take off his shirt while in his high chair.

As we were leaving, I overheard a couple seated nearby remark, "He's adorable, but I'm glad we're past that stage." As anyone with a 1- or 2-year-old knows, taking a toddler to a restaurant is no day at the beach (which, by the way, is no day at the beach, either). It requires patience, planning, and a healthy sense of humor.

That said, if you follow some guidelines, you can successfully eat at a restaurant with your little love Learn more about how to eat out with a toddler.

Related: 14 Temper Tantrum Tricks from Real Parents

How to Eat at a Restaurant With a Toddler

When you take a toddler out to eat, you're including a guest who finds it difficult to sit still, is prone to tantrums, and probably has a limited interest in new cuisine, says Jenn Berman, PsyD, author of SuperBaby: 12 Ways to Give Your Child a Head Start in the First 3 Years. Still, dining out is a great way to encourage flexibility, patience, and manners. Plus, eating a fun meal together as a family has benefits like promoting bonding, healthy eating habits, and positive communication skills.

"The first sojourns to a restaurant are about getting used to eating somewhere other than the kitchen table and eating food that's not prepared by Mommy or Daddy," adds etiquette expert Cindy Post, author of The Gift of Good Manners. But if you adjust your expectations and plan ahead, you can increase the odds of having a positive experience.

Ready to survey the restaurant scene with your toddler? Try these tips.

Related: 7 Science-Backed Benefits of Eating Together as a Family

Choose the Right Establishment

You don't have to limit yourself to fast food but do pick a family-friendly place. "If you go to a restaurant that's too fancy, you're just setting your child up to fail," says Dr. Berman. "You'll be embarrassed and angry if your kid is disruptive when really it's not [their] fault."

Here are a few things to look for when choosing a place to eat out with a toddler:

If you choose a spot that plays loud music, make sure it's not so loud that it is difficult to talk to your child—or so loud that your child becomes overwhelmed.

Related: The Most Family-Friendly Cities of 2023—Did Yours Make the List?

Never Take a Tired Toddler Out

Talk about a recipe for disaster! When you make your reservation, plan around your child's regular sleep schedule. If your child typically naps at noon, don't schedule lunch at that time. Instead, plan around the nap and have brunch, a late lunch, or an early dinner. And definitely don't keep them up much later than normal.

"This is about your child's needs, not yours," says Dr. Berman, who recently staged a restaurant intervention with a mom whose 18-month-old was flinging silverware across the table. "This woman was at her wits' end. She was yelling, 'No! Do not do that!' as she grabbed her son's wrist and face. Eventually, I felt compelled to help out," she explains.

"I bent down so the other diners couldn't hear me, and said, 'You seem to be having a hard time. I'm a mom too and also a therapist. Can I help?' Then we talked about how yelling wasn't helping the situation and what she could do to prevent these kinds of situations in the future. The woman actually seemed relieved."

As they talked, Dr. Berman found out that it was an hour and a half past the kid's usual bedtime. No wonder he was out of control.

Related: Toddler Sleep Guidelines You Need to Know

Bring a Bag of Tricks

When my own son was a toddler, and we were getting ready for a restaurant meal, my husband always joked, "Do you have your bag of tricks?" But it was no laughing matter—it worked! As for electronic devices like your smartphone, "I know this won't win me any friends, but I'm not a fan of giving them to a child in a restaurant," says Dr. Berman. "It means she's missing out on the experience of interacting with people, which is part of what dining out is about."

Here are some ideas for packing your own bag of tricks:

  • A favorite comfort toy like a stuffy that can help keep your child calm.

  • Board books

  • Finger puppets

  • A set of pretend keys

  • A busy board (you can buy portable, soft busy boards for travel)

Just make sure the items you choose don't make noise and are soft enough that they won't break, damage anything, or make noise if they are dropped (or thrown). Many restaurants offer crayons and paper placemats to color on or small wooden games for kids to stay entertained while they wait for their food. Ask your server what their establishment offers.



Quick Tip

To keep your bag of tricks novel and exciting for your child, only let them play with it when you're eating out or in public places where you need your child to be quietly distracted. Switch out toys every few outings to keep it interesting, especially if you're out a lot and your child is getting used to the toys.



Related: How to Deal With the 'Terrible Twos'

Avoid Long Wait Times

"Twenty minutes in a high chair is about all you can reasonably expect from a toddler," Post warns. But more active kids may not even last that long. After that, you will probably have to take your kid for a walk before they can sit quietly again.

"It takes impulse control to sit still," says Dr. Berman. "Little bodies need to move. Fortunately, taking a quick jaunt outside is like pressing the 'refresh' button."

Many restaurants offer pre-ordering as an option for folks who are pressed for time. If the place you're going to does not have pre-order options, you can always call and ask if it is a particularly busy time and what the current wait time for food is.

Related: Is Bringing Food for Your Kids to Restaurants Ingenious or Impolite?

Order as Soon as You Can

If you want time to actually eat your meal before a meltdown, place your order as quickly as possible. Assuming you can't pre-order your meal, it's a brilliant idea to look at the menu ahead of time and be ready to order as soon as you meet your server.

You might think it's helpful to order your kid's meal first, but that tactic can backfire in the likely scenario that they finish eating before your food even arrives—and then they'll need something to occupy them while you eat.

A better plan: Order together (don't be shy about asking the waiter to put a rush on it) and offer your kid some activities to do until the food arrives. If your child is too hungry to wait, ask for some bread, chips, or crackers (or a favorite snack you've brought from home), which should keep them satisfied until their meal comes.

Related: How to Choose the Best High Chair for Your Baby

Respect Other Diners

Even if you're at an inexpensive family restaurant, other customers have the right to enjoy a meal in relative peace. If your child is getting restless or agitated, cart them out of the restaurant to settle down. Sometimes, a quick walk around the block or even a trip to the car can help

If they still become loud and rowdy at the table, apologize to nearby folks as you walk out (you'll be surprised how many will give an empathetic "been there" nod). And don't forget to tip generously if you've left a mess behind.

But don't beat yourself up if you try a family outing and it ends with your shrieking toddler being carted to the parking lot. Kids have to learn how to be in public, and they can only do that with lots of practice—that's why you start out with fast food and family-style restaurants before graduating to fancier settings. Take a deep breath and plan another outing. Your child will eventually be able to handle eating out with ease.

Related: Why Your Toddler Only Acts Out With One Parent

Be Prepared To Leave

Even the most well-planned meal can turn into a complete dining disaster when an unpredictable toddler is involved. If things get really ugly, you may have only one choice: Take your food to go, put your child to sleep in their crib, and then enjoy your meal at home. By making peace with the idea that you might have to bail on eating out, you can relieve a lot of the stress of the moment if it happens.



Key Takeaway

Everything in parenting, including teaching a toddler how to eat in public, takes practice, patience, and empathy—for your child and yourself. By being prepared for the worst and hoping for the best, your tot will be a pro at eating in public in no time.



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