64 Hysterical Tweets From March That I'm 99.99% Sure Will Make You Scream-Laugh
Y'all, it's officially the last week of March, and time doesn't even feel real.
covid consequence nobody talks about is every march/april i have an insatiable desire to take 10 mile walks then online shop with government money
— anand (@demon_squid) March 12, 2024
@demon_squid
I spent way too much time on the internet this month, so I've scoured BuzzFeed's viral tweets, fails, and Black Twitter roundups to compile the ultimate list of hilariousness. So let's get into it:
1.
Got my bidet all set up pic.twitter.com/Cqqp2VNVxm
— Ricky Knuckles (@TheRickDoofus) March 21, 2024
@TheRickDoofus
2.
Never again 💔 pic.twitter.com/7z3QrutjyQ
— D I M A (@Lush_Beauty1) March 18, 2024
@Lush_Beauty1
3.
was swiping on tinder and some girl behind me said “swipe he’s cute” pic.twitter.com/9KdtogPyrk
— ❒ (@RlCKYRAGE) March 23, 2024
i-D Magazine / @RICKYRAGE / Via tenor.com
4.
a piece of my car fell off while i was parking… pic.twitter.com/ReQ2MRUtQG
— not j*ss (@itsnotjess123) March 25, 2024
@itsnotjess123
5.
Really good bit i came across at a restaurant yesterday pic.twitter.com/qdFwqb1SNi
— cam (@largemotorcycle) March 5, 2024
@largemotorcycle
6.
I GOT THE FUNNIEST GLITCH ON PEACOCK LMAO pic.twitter.com/WLKCTa0Cs5
— Ethan (any pronoun) (@EthanOfArgoCity) March 5, 2024
@EthanOfArgoCity
7.
This made my day. Lol pic.twitter.com/mdGS8Ni0cK
— Juice (@DjWalt_) March 22, 2024
@DjWalt_
8.
cover letter's looking good! pic.twitter.com/iawBbxSkqC
— gabe, allegedly (@untiloasis) March 10, 2024
@untiloasis
9.
rent isn’t free, putting him to work pic.twitter.com/kO8cmbIDZW
— Punch Cat (@PunchingCat) March 12, 2024
@PunchingCat
10.
Took my kid to a play place and he sees a former classmate who he has had a crush on for ages. I told him to play it cool. Just overheard him say “I remember your breath. It always smells like goldfish crackers” bro has negative rizz
— Teddie (@Teddie2pointO) March 21, 2024
@Teddie2pointO
11.
I was fighting for my life🤣💀 pic.twitter.com/UpNyhVTHMO
— MULA🍒 (@realbbymula) March 21, 2024
@realbbymula
12.
should i airdrop this to the person in front of me on my flight pic.twitter.com/2IKPn91dFB
— Isabel Steckel (@IsabelSteckel) March 13, 2024
@IsabelSteckel
13.
I was taking a rideshare today and thought the driver said something to me but he was like “no no I was talking to Patricio” and then plopped Patricio down on the dashboard pic.twitter.com/2MUvPYC9YZ
— Eugene V. D.E.B.S. (2004) (@sarahwaters420) March 22, 2024
@sarahwaters420
14.
she’s serving https://t.co/jwIxI6ACDc
— leigh (@daughter_ion) March 12, 2024
@Very__Regular / @daughter_ion
15.
I’m crying cause you know the paper towel there cause it already happened before https://t.co/Q5urlY4cPu
— Pushing the Gay Agenda (@Monalise_ah) March 14, 2024
@Monalise_Ah / @scorpioeyes101
16.
This weather is so inconsistent, it's giving men.
— Noor ✭ (@Noorthevirgo) March 23, 2024
@Noorthevirgo
17.
Taking the drawls off the ice cream is unhinged. https://t.co/wZJfp8k6XY
— FOST (@GeorgeFoster72) March 14, 2024
@amourxjasss / @GeorgeFoster72
18.
Me putting sheets on my bed pic.twitter.com/kWe2TWZv8v
— ✰ (@blkdior) February 27, 2024
Parkwood Entertainment / @blkdior
19.
crazy choice for a name pic.twitter.com/Voc37N72U5
— kira 👾 (@kirawontmiss) March 11, 2024
@kirawontmiss
20.
I see a drunk ostrich. What dat mean? https://t.co/xeSwEbNnwp
— Hercules (@kNo_Mercy) March 14, 2024
@pmcafrica / @k_noMercy
21.
Can’t believe this is the last time I get to watch this https://t.co/1zpFjjdZch pic.twitter.com/Hu7egR4ZoA
— Jay Zim (@jay_zimmer) March 14, 2024
@jay_zimmer / @CBSNews
22.
Could’ve bought some land https://t.co/rytUDaWwMO
— Deshaun Malik 🏴☠️ (@11Deshaun) March 25, 2024
@HungryAIApp / @11Deshaun
23.
thought this was a unique shaped rug https://t.co/FJ9JvmTicm
— 𝚙𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚎𝚜 𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚎𝚗 ♓︎ (@kylaaaa__) March 16, 2024
@r0ttensilver / @kylaaaa__
24.
date: so… you just adopted 3 chipmunks as your children?dave seville: no, no that’d be crazy. I’m also their band manager
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) March 20, 2024
@TheAndrewNadeau
25.
she deleted her bf highlight pic.twitter.com/EisEQwXBH6
— gasso (@noirgasso) March 3, 2024
Dreamworks / @noirgasso
26.
my fish died today after 20+ years(my uncle bought her when he was a teen idk how old she is) im at class rn but I didn't expect my mom to bury her, like, she can be cooked, but yeah rip my fish pic.twitter.com/OuVbzbktAz
— mobrinono(❁´◡`❁)HOEDERER COME HOME PLZ (@mobrinono) March 15, 2024
@mobrinono
27.
The way this duck shakes they head sends me every time like oh whatever they saying is tea pic.twitter.com/nnYf0ikaXX
— not paul (atreides) (@paulswhtn) March 24, 2024
@paulswhtn
28.
he told me that it's over, dumb decision pic.twitter.com/HjyVuOfUTZ
— ellie (@liampainnnn) March 24, 2024
@liampainnnn
29.
the best part about being in a ton of 2023 pregnancy/baby groups is getting to see all the absolutely wretched names parents are coming up with these days. here are some highlights i’ve collected pic.twitter.com/UNMUHeAmKB
— henny gesserit (@heyyitsdidi) March 20, 2024
@heyyitsdidi
30.
when I was 12 or so my babysitter would always talk about this girl she used to babysit—how cool she was, how much she missed her—and it made me hate this girl out of pure childish jealously bc I wanted my babysitter to think *I* was cool. the other girl was Emma Stone however
— Becca (@bexual_healing) March 11, 2024
@bexual_healing
31.
LMFAOOOO pic.twitter.com/u4K3gDib58
— kira 👾 (@kirawontmiss) March 15, 2024
@kirawontmiss
32.
Y’all my daughter gave my very strict guidelines on how I can show up to school on her birthday. PLEASE HELP ME !!!!! pic.twitter.com/QXA6tNu23r
— and curl the wig (@pollygotsole) March 14, 2024
@pollygotsole
33.
bread lowkey gets moldy too fast... i have a life
— new jersey updates (@doubtpointv2) March 17, 2024
@doubtpointv2
34.
I knew Katie Britt sounded familiar…just needed the internet to add the Sarah McLachlan song from the ASPCA commercial over her 🤣💀…@JustVent6 🎯 pic.twitter.com/kYHVaL7mFb
— Wu Tang is for the Children (@WUTangKids) March 8, 2024
FOX NEWS / @WUTangKids
35.
March must got melatonin in it because I been sleepy everyday 🤣
— 𝐇☆𝐓𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋🐅 (@mainbitchclique) March 14, 2024
@mainbitchclique
36.
i am addicted to saying "wow its soo nice out" when its so nice out
— lauren (@Very__Regular) March 13, 2024
@Very__Regular
37.
Second attempt at making a protein shake tf I do wrong 🤔😭😭 pic.twitter.com/idT4KqiBJu
— 𝐇★𝐓𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋🦂 (@mainbitchclique) March 26, 2024
@mainbitchclique
38.
the most american photo doesn’t exi- pic.twitter.com/r5O0BLXzGi
— Adam (@adamgreattweet) March 16, 2024
@adamgreattweet
39.
when i first broke my leg as a kid my mom tucked me in that night with shrek 2 playing. but she forgot i couldn’t move and put the remote just BARELY out of my reach. i woke up and had to listen to THIS FUCKING MENU FOR HOURS WHILE SOBBING LMFAO 😭 pic.twitter.com/1XuRXWS0wT
— bre 🐝 (@aantlerqueen) March 16, 2024
@aantlerqueen / Dreamworks
40.
I loved Saint Patrick's day in Boston it was like if everyone got a concussion during the purge. One year I lost my keys in a pub and a guy gave me one of his keys to make me feel better
— raina (@quakerraina) March 17, 2024
@quakerraina
41.
i casually mentioned to my wife how ive started smiling with my eyes at work to signal no-threat and increase a sense of camaraderie and she's like "what what do you mean smile with your eyes" and i showed her and she told me to never make that face again
— recluse; (@cosine_distance) March 12, 2024
@cosine_distance
42.
Me watching Jejovah Witness leave after pretending no one was home pic.twitter.com/C9dLWtlJTI
— the guy with the green hair (@AlexJayeSINGER) March 13, 2024
Hulu / @AlexJayeSINGER
43.
My last name starts with a W and today one of my third graders said “the w is falling off your name” and I said “what name” and he said “up there” and I said “that’s the word welcome” and he said wearily “you KNOW I can’t read” pic.twitter.com/XlE2lmxKvE
— maddie’s car got stolen (@damnitmadeline) March 5, 2024
@damnitmadeline
44.
He's bald 💀 pic.twitter.com/pjnFWOycBu
— No Context Cats (@nocontextscats) March 11, 2024
@nocontextscats
45.
i told my mom to text me saying i needed to go home so i can show my manager and this was her message 😭 pic.twitter.com/HvXASjMfuM
— kim (@lunakimm) March 11, 2024
@lunakimm
46.
LeBron walks through his front door:Savannah: ohhhh so you a comedian now???pic.twitter.com/PgmclArUzN
— Alexander the Don (@TheDonAlexander) March 9, 2024
ESPN / @TheDonAlexander
47.
When you and the guy you hate from HR are the only ones early to the Zoom call pic.twitter.com/R9WI7XYOAE
— chris evans (@notcapnamerica) March 8, 2024
CNN / @notcapnamerica
48.
mickey mouse what have they done to u https://t.co/r9tZqIZ6i1
— jordan✨ (@Jordanaan) March 10, 2024
@KateJBaer / @Jordanaan
49.
i mean, gorgeous bathroom, but i think theres one very important bit you’re still missing https://t.co/VXm068WfCk
— Lisan adi Gaib (@folieadieux) March 7, 2024
@hannah1989__ / @folieadieux
50.
😭😭😭 https://t.co/cQkwi7moLM pic.twitter.com/PzuzEoyWSS
— Leo 🦋 (@leo_kardashian) March 8, 2024
@leo_kardashian
51.
30 years ago they were really buying houses for the price of a used car and then going to college with gym membership money omg i’m so sick
— Iyosias (@iloveiyosias) March 10, 2024
@iloveiyosias
52.
why would you pay $2000 dollars a month in rent when you could simply live with your parents and the only cost to you would be Daily Emotional Warfare?
— Archbishop Murphy (@JuliusIrvington) March 8, 2024
@JuliusIrvington
53.
my 16 year old sister just sent this to me, the American education system is in shambles pic.twitter.com/WkTVkIxp4C
— Cait🧃 (@CaitCamelia) March 7, 2024
@CaitCamelia
54.
these celebrity partnerships are getting out of hand pic.twitter.com/yelMte53Wt
— Adam (@adamgreattweet) March 5, 2024
@adamgreattweet
55.
Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be in the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.
— Fran (@whingewine) March 5, 2024
@whinegewine
56.
deleting three year old concert videos that i’ve never rewatched once pic.twitter.com/HpLUw3kt2n
— 🗡 (@drivcmycar) March 4, 2024
HBO / @drivcmycar
57.
— popcultureangel (@lohanisgod) March 24, 2024
@lohanisgod
58.
The U.S. House has officially passed the bill to ban Microsoft Teams next please please please
— . (@npc1npc2npc3) March 13, 2024
@npc1npc2npc3
59.
my friend is at a fancy wedding in NYC and I absolutely lost my mind at this shrimp luge. so unsettling pic.twitter.com/1ltuwN0uDp
— god's bathroom floor (@DJSlizzard) March 3, 2024
@DJSlizzard
60.
i guess we'll never know https://t.co/zQ53x60FFs
— new jersey updates (@doubtpointv2) March 2, 2024
@doubtpointv2
61.
Skin gon fall right off the bone https://t.co/EithO1srej
— Evil Snorlax (@KingCharmng) March 2, 2024
@KingCharmng / @celebritytajjj
62.
i’ve adopted the boomer ellipses……very satisfying……i see why they do this……..
— Molly McGhee ✨ (@mollymcghee) March 3, 2024
@mollymcghee
63.
WHO KEEPS BUILDING WEBSITES FOR RESTAURANTS THAT HAVE EVERYTHING BUT THE HOURS AND MENU ???!!!!??? I DON'T CARE THE CHEF ANDY USES MIDWESTERN FLARE
— Wade (in Tarnation) (@watn_tarnation) March 2, 2024
@watn_tarnation
64.
I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for detective” 😭😭
— OFFICIALGRACIE (@OfficialGracie) March 10, 2024
@OfficialGracie
Which tweet made you cackle in March's funny-tweet roundup? Let us know your favorites in the comments below, and we'll see you back here in April!
