6 Ways You’re (Accidentally) Annoying Your Spouse

·2 min read

You and your partner are two peas in a pod, and he’s the last person you want to upset. But nobody’s perfect (right?), and being together forever comes with its…quirks. Here, six ways you might be annoying your spouse by accident.

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1. You clean up…after they’ve cleaned up

They didn’t load the dishwasher the *right* way, so you’ll just re-do the job, no biggie…except that your spouse now feels like you don’t appreciate his help—yikes. One way to deal? Identify the non-negotiables (like oatmeal crusted on bowls, or socks on the bathroom floor) together, and let the little things go. (You can survive a night with hand towels draped the "wrong" way.)

2. You’re glued to your phone

We know you’re riding the Instagram-hearts high, but your constant phubbing (aka phone snubbing) is not only making you seem less present, it’s making your S.O. feel unheard, unseen and unimportant. Fight the urge to check that notification, or block off a designated “no phone” time when neither of you can be on your devices. Sure it’s challenging, but the results (meaningful conversation and emotional connection) are worth it.

3. You’re really good at listening…selectively

One minute, he’s talking about weekend plans, and suddenly you’re spacing out about season 3 of Queer Eye. But being a good listener goes a long way. Instead of making your partner converse with a brick wall, try repeating what he says back to him to stay present.

4. You constantly put yourself down

Whether you’re having a bad day or just looking for a compliment (we’re all guilty), it can be emotionally exhausting for your spouse to become your full-time cheerleader—who, by the way, doesn’t think those stripes make you look wide. Try taking a page out of his book: Show yourself some love by telling him one thing you're proud of each day. And according to psychologists, self-acceptance allows for more intimate, fulfilling relationships.

5. You interrupt when you’re out with friends

While it’s great that you can finish your spouse's sentences, it can be frustrating, or even condescending, when it’s not just the two of you. Give her a turn getting to the punchline first. See, she’s pretty funny, after all!

6. You don’t answer their texts

A no-context “hey” actually means “checking in for signs of life.” Get back to your boo, OK?

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