6 Things To Do When Your BFF Has a Baby
Wondering how to help a friend who just had a baby? Here's exactly what they need from you right now.
In the beginning, when you found out that your best friend was having a baby, you vowed to be the most supportive friend ever. Then, for nine exciting months, you pampered them with love by helping with everything from researching off-the-wall morning sickness remedies and debating the meaning of baby names to strolling the car-seat aisle with them. You might have even planned the perfect baby shower. But now that your BFF's little sweetpea has arrived, you might be thinking: now what?
The truth is, your friend needs your support and friendship now more than ever. The following ideas will make your bestie feel special—and take a little stress off their wonderful, emotion-filled time.
Set up a Meal Train
Sure, food seems obvious, and a lasagna may not seem very thrilling, but trust us, between breastfeeding, sleepless nights, and endless diaper changes, the chance of your friend making a cameo in the kitchen is as likely as them throwing a dinner party for the whole neighborhood. In other words, it's not happening. But you can get creative with it.
Home-cooked meals from local friends and family are lovely (and appreciated!). Still, a steady stream of visitors can be overwhelming—yes, even when they come bearing cheesy casseroles—so consider setting up a Meal Train. The service coordinates specific days for people to drop off a hot dinner so your friend doesn't get dumped with four pasta dishes on the same day. It also lets you loop in faraway loved ones so they can sign up to send a meal via delivery.
And don't limit it to dinner. Coordinate with everyone involved to help surprise your friend with hearty breakfasts or a basket full of their favorite snacks.
Related: 8 Things I Wish Had Been in My New Parent Care Package
Create a Guilt-Free Zone
Between all the texts, calls, and emails blowing up your best friend's phone, they're likely feeling super loved—and stressed about getting back to everyone. Remember, most of the time, your friend is operating one-handed now. So one of the kindest things you can do is give them permission to drop off the grid.
Let your friend know that you're absolutely there if they need you, but otherwise, you'll give them time to relish in that new infant bubble without worrying about having to respond to every little ding that lights up their phone.
Instead, next time you send a text, instead of asking, "How are you?" offer up help, for example, "I'm at the grocery store; do you need anything?"
Show Up With Something Fancy
Your best friend is now living in the land of spit-up-covered shirts and stretchy leggings (which they may have worn for the past two days), and as much as cute onesies and precious baby items make your friend squeal with delight, show up with something special for them instead.
They'll be over the moon to be spoiled just a little bit. Consider picking out gifts that are either practical or baby-related (but definitely for your friend and not the baby!). Here are a few ideas:
Pay for a cleaning service to help take some stress off.
Gift cards to local restaurants, their fav coffee place, or even the grocery store!).
Splurge on a mani-pedi or a massage.
Create a fun gift basket with your friend's favs, like audiobooks, tea, and snacks.
Call Dibs on the Baby
After the first week or two, the stream of visitors usually winds down, and your friend is surviving in Baby Land solo. Set up a time to visit mid-week and offer a little one-on-one time with the bambino so your friend can take a steaming hot shower actually and blow dry their hair—or even catch a few zzzs. Or suggest your friend take a yoga class, run some errands, or just get outside for a little bit while you bunker in with the itty bitty.
Related: New Parent Emotions: A Cry in the Dark
Take a Chore off Their Hands
Your friend's hands are full, literally. If your best friend—and your social circle—is open to it, rally some folks to take something off your BFF's plate. A few simple, practical ideas that can help your friend might include:
Offer to walk their dog or tend to other pets of your friends has them.
Pick up groceries—or any other curb-side pick-up errand that can help.
Offer to do a few loads of laundry, wash the floors, or tidy up a bit.
If your friend has yard work like mowing, shoveling, or other manual things, offer to pick up the slack.
Plan a Bestie Day—for the Future
For the first couple of months, your bestie isn't going to want the pressure of having to look presentable for being in public, but plan a special day just for the two of you that doesn't involve the baby, even if it's as simple as wandering through Target while sipping coffee or sitting back and eating popcorn and catching a movie. Better yet, ask your friend what they most wish they could do, and then try and make that happen.
Trust us; your friend will be grateful to have something to look forward to on the calendar that doesn't involve a wiggly little one.
The Bottom Line
Your best friend's life has just changed in a huge way and they might be dealing with lots of emotions and adjustments to parenthood. Be the loving, supportive, compassionate friend you are and remember that helping your friend—and making them feel special—doesn't have to be expensive or elaborate.
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