50 Poor, Poor Souls Who Just Had A Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way Worse Month Than You
If you just had the absolute worst month, just remember...
1.The person whose car just got a stake through the heart:
2.The person who probably should have taken those muffins out a few seconds earlier:
3.The person whose TV was no match for their Winter Candy Apple–scented candle:
4.The person who gambled and lost:
5.The person who's about to make three new friends:
6.The person who might wanna grab some paper towels:
7.The person who will never, ever forget what this bird did to them:
8.The person who has a slight leak in their home:
9.The person who just got a brand-new 65-inch Flysung OLED:
10.The person who might want to get the heat turned on:
11.The person who had the unthinkable happen to them:
12.The person whose musical taste spans the coasts:
13.The person who had the worst kind of surprise:
14.The person whose drinks shall never be warm again:
15.The person who will never sit down again without looking for a sweet piece of delicious fruit:
16.The person whose mirror is absolutely perfectly placed:
17.The person who'd better be driving a bulldozer:
18.The person who knows that nothing but despair lies beyond this door:
19.The person who left the noddles in juuuuust a tad too long:
20.The person whose strand of hair is now ready to enter the afterlife:
21.The person who experienced a true soy sauce disaster:
22.The person whose sandwich is, quite simply, an affront to God:
23.The person who was betrayed by the deodorant they loved the most:
24.The person whose lamp is evidently possessed:
25.The person whose wrist shall never be itched:
Sad state of affairs.
26.The person who just made an enemy for life:
27.The person who created a casual death beam in their car:
28.The person who took a wrong turn. A very, very wrong turn:
29.The person whose soup just got a whole lot more cronchy after a glass broke:
30.The person whose cake met an untimely end:
31.The person whose house got the Nosferatu stake-through-the-heart treatment:
32.The person whose cash savings are now experiencing exponential growth (of mold):
33.The person who played way too fast and loose with precious goods:
34.The person whose dad definitely got that little spot out for them:
35.The person who was kind enough to give the gift of dental care to a friendly roach:
36.The person who experienced true devastation:
I'm so sorry.
37.The person who should have brought a pair of Wayfarers onto that plane:
38.The person whose child's bite is honestly impressive:
39.The person who found out a fun fact about themself today:
40.The person whose coat got a hot, new coat of paint:
41.The person who'd better start telling people Jackson Pollock used to live in their building:
42.The person with perhaps the world's heaviest candle:
43.The person whose dinner is, quite frankly, all screwed up:
44.The person whose chocolate breakfast will now fortunately ward off any and all vampires:
45.The person whose clothes shall go unwashed:
46.The person who needs to never, ever try to make bread again:
47.The person whose melon was harboring a terrible, terrible secret:
48.The person who experienced this shattering reality:
49.The person who has to play limbo with some fallen power lines every time they leave their house:
50.And the person who must leave their house and never return upon finding this:
Run.
