50 People Who Immediately Regretted Pretty Much Everything In Their Life That Led To This Moment
My friend, if you just had yourself an absolutely awful month where nothing seemed to go your way, just remember...
1.The person who had the unthinkable happen to them:
2.The person who might just want to turn on the heat:
3.The person who is going to have to play the worst game of bobbing for apples the world has ever seen:
4.The person who learned one of life's most important lessons the hard way:
5.The person who is going to see white paint in their nightmares for the rest of their life:
6.The person who's driving a brand new Beans-san Altima:
7.The person who swears there's a pie in there somewhere:
8.The person whose pizza went absolutely nuclear on them:
9.The person who will be forever trapped on their roof:
10.The person who got the Michael Scott special at their hotel:
11.The poor, poor soul who has but one single bean to their name:
12.The person whose neighbors never let the party die:
13.The person who apparently cooked their dang sweet potato in the fires of Mount Doom:
14.The person who screwed up dessert in a profoundly chaotic way:
15.The person whose dress choice will have everyone absolutely buzzing with excitement:
16.The person who paid buco dolores to always be reminded of their bad haircut:
17.The person whose package looks like it's about to be the second person killed in a horror movie:
18.The person whose lamp is giving them angina:
19.The person who is going to be very upset when they land:
20.The person whose bananas went skydiving:
21.Ol' Green Foot:
22.The person who learned that the best mornings start with a huge mess to clean up:
23.The person who lost the cookie lottery:
24.The person whose gums I am currently praying for:
25.The person who had this absolutely classic blunder we've all experienced happen to them:
26.The person whose hands quite possibly might be allergic to cold:
27.The person whose washing machine is up to some shady stuff behind closed doors:
28.The person whose glasses are absolutely cooked:
29.The person who found a lil' friend in their completely eaten salad:
30.The person who will never be comfortable pumpin' ever again:
31.The person whose bacon is approximately 97.85% fat:
32.The person whose protein shake erupted with absolutely incredible force:
33.The person who's going to have to go on a dang expedition to get their package back:
The note reads, "I accidentally threw your parcel on top of the roof. Use maybe a broom to get it down." NOT GREAT, FOLKS!
34.The person whose corn dogs are more burned than that which resides in Hades itself, folks:
35.This poor, gastrointestinally distressed soul:
36.The person whose big moment was a pyrrhic victory akin to that of the dang Battle of Asculum:
Seriously, folks!
37.The person who learned how to create a whole buncha goop in a short time:
38.The person whose cake would've been a smash hit two years ago:
39.The person who committed the cardinal sin of quilt knitting:
40.The person who just so happened to buy the world's strongest melon:
41.The person who got hot seats in the American Express Jail Lounge:
42.The person who got the deal of a lifetime:
43.The person who created an entirely new ecosystem in their fridge in a week:
44.The person whose bottom I am currently saying a prayer for:
In God's name we pray for your little behind, amen.
45.The person who found a pipeline to the old Eagle Butte Mine at the bottom of their coffee:
46.The person whose laptop looks like it got spiked by Kerri Walsh Jennings and Misty May-Treanor! Seriously, folks!
I'm serious!
47.The Green Man:
48.The person who will never, ever be able to look at balloons in the same way:
49.The person who will never get that hour of their life back:
50.The person whose stairs look like a dang Jackson Pollock painting:
And the person whose apple is quite literally rotten to the core:
AHHHHH!
