5 Types of Narcissists and How to Identify Them
- Oops!Something went wrong.Please try again later.
"Hearst Magazines and Yahoo may earn commission or revenue on some items through these links."
We interact with all kinds of people on a daily basis, but admittedly, some are much more pleasant to deal with than others. Often, folks are just having a rough day and take it out on others. However, in some cases, people regularly act in a hurtful, narcissistic manner and don’t realize how their behavior affects others around them.
Narcissism exists on a spectrum, but research shows that anywhere from 0.5 to 5% of the U.S. population has the diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Among everyone else, people may have varying levels of narcissism as a personality trait. (In this article, "narcissism" refers to people with high levels of this trait unless we use the term "NPD.")
How do you know if you’ve encountered a narcissist? Unless you’re a mental health professional, it’s difficult to know for sure. So we reached out to a few psychologists who conduct research on narcissism and work with clients who have NPD to explain the signs of narcissism, the different types of narcissism and the best way to protect your own well-being if someone you know presents with narcissistic tendencies.
What is narcissism?
“Narcissism is a personality style that is characterized by patterns including variable empathy, entitlement, grandiosity, validation- and admiration-seeking, envy of others, egocentricity, low capacity for mutual and reciprocal relationships and a deep sense of insecurity that underlies all of this,” says Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., a psychologist and author of several books including “Don’t You Know Who I Am?” How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility. “It is on a continuum and can range from milder narcissism that may be experienced as self-involvement, selfishness, vanity and immaturity all the way to more severe levels that may be experienced as exploitative, coercive and aggressive.”
For a person to qualify for an official diagnosis of NPD, one must exhibit at least five of these traits, according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM–5):
Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements, expects to be recognized as superior without actually completing the achievements)
Is preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, brilliance, beauty or perfect love
Believes that they are “special” and can only be understood by or should only associate with other special people (or institutions)
Requires excessive admiration
Has a sense of entitlement, such as an unreasonable expectation of favorable treatment or compliance with his or her expectations)
Is exploitative and takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends
Lacks empathy and is unwilling to identify with the needs of others
Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of them
Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors and attitudes
Different types of narcissists
The two primary types of narcissism manifest in different ways:
Grandiose (overt) narcissism: What most of us think of as narcissism is a specific type called grandiose narcissism. People who exhibit traits of grandiose narcissism generally fit the criteria listed above because of beliefs that are ingrained in their mind. “Somebody who’s a grandiose narcissist, they will legitimately believe that they’re better than you in their mind — inherently better,” says Pascal Wallisch, Ph.D., a clinical associate professor of psychology and data science at New York University. “And obviously if they’re so perfect, they cannot really accept the blame. It must have been you. In our research, that type is closely tied to psychopathy. They are inherently feeling great about themselves.
Vulnerable (covert) narcissism: While not talked about as much, vulnerable narcissism is actually more common than grandiose narcissism, according to research Wallisch has worked on. “The person is more anxious, angry, sullen, resentful, victimized, perceives that other people are against them and may also be hostile, sad and have difficulties functioning well,” says Durvasula. “These folks are often quite angry at the world and have deep-seated fears of failure as well as shame.” Vulnerable narcissism stems from strong feelings of insecurity in a person, which may develop after early childhood experiences lead them to feel inadequate. “They reject the blame and take the credit because they literally cannot stand it,” says Wallisch. “They feel like there’s a hole in their soul and they need the credit to patch that up and they cannot accept the blame because they’re already drowning. The tragedy is that after a while, this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and other people start to genuinely reset them, which makes them do this even more.”
Beyond those two more well-studied types of narcissism, there are additional informal categories of narcissism like these:
[accordion id='2b1933b8-079f-45ca-9b7f-ad10a9fb0524'][/accordion]
Diagnosis
A formal diagnosis requires an evaluation by a licensed mental health practitioner. “In order to "diagnose" a personality disorder, not only does a professional need to determine that there is a sufficient number of these patterns that are persistent over time, but also that these patterns are resulting in clinically meaningful social and occupational impairment and/or distress to the person with the patterns,” says Durvasula. “The evaluating therapist would also be looking for the person’s capacity for consistent empathy, intimacy and closeness; the degree to which they are capable of setting realistic goals in a way that is self-motivated; and have a well-formed identity and capacity for regulation.” Keep in mind that just because someone has narcissistic tendencies, they may not fully fit the criteria for a diagnosis of NPD. On top of that, because a person with NPD may not see their behavioral patterns as problems, they may not reach out to a mental health professional to be evaluated.
Treatment
Unfortunately, because of its inherent complexities, narcissism is not easily treated and studies have shown mixed results for a variety of treatment approaches. “The research that shows decent outcomes with narcissistic clients is usually done with the vulnerable narcissistic folks who often have other struggles like anxiety or depression and general distress that get them into therapy and then it requires long-term, consistent therapy,” says Durvasula. “Most people do not have access to this or couldn’t afford it.”
Many people with narcissism also don’t attempt therapy to begin with and if they do, they don’t stick with it. For example, if someone has an extreme sense of self-entitlement and self-importance and lacks empathy, they probably don’t think there’s anything amiss that therapy can help with. “Narcissistic people often don’t show up to therapy unless something is going wrong in their lives and then want to fix the problem instead of addressing their issues,” says Durvasula. “It is very resistant to change, but there are some therapies out there like schema therapy or transference focused therapies that have shown some evidence.” Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is also used.
For help with mental health issues, contact the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Helpline at 800-950-6264 or text "HelpLine" to 62640.
“The classic treatment is that you challenge the narcissist in their assertions,” says Wallisch, “but if you think about it, if they’re feeling insecure — which is what our research shows — that’s not going to resonate. Acceptance might be a better approach. However, it’s very tricky because if you accept it, how do you then communicate that they are still wrong about this? How do you accept somebody if you need them to stop what they’re doing? This will take a lot of skill. Right now the prognosis is not good, but I’m not going to say it can’t be done. It’s just hard.” Treatment success also depends on how long a person has been exhibiting narcissistic behaviors as well as their trust in the mental health professional they’re working with, according to Wallisch. He hopes that additional studies will eventually shed more light on effective treatment solutions.
How to deal with a narcissist
There isn't a magic fix that will cure someone of all narcissistic tendencies, but these strategies can help you protect yourself. In an acute crisis or an emergency, don’t hesitate to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 or text "START" to 88788.
[accordion id='660af2d0-5fd6-4287-b8d9-c797e55add51'][/accordion]
The bottom line: If someone you’re close with seems to have narcissistic tendencies, try not to take it personally, advises Wallisch, because the person is likely treating other people the same way they’re treating you. Unfortunately, these negative behaviors have deep-seated roots and are very difficult to change. “These are deeply insecure folks who have little self-reflective capacity who often do not take note of how they are hurting people,” says Durvasula. “If you are sticking it out in a relationship on the hope they will change, it may be a long ride or may never happen.”
You Might Also Like
