5 Things Your Server Definitely Doesn't Want to Hear About
They really don't need to know about your rash, your politics, or how you feel about their tattoos.
Kobus Louw / Getty Images
Your server and bartender hear everything you say. Hushed tones and subtle whispers don’t stand a chance up against the honed hearing of a seasoned restaurant server. Doctors and nurses need stethoscopes, but servers don’t need anything. They are trained to hear the clanking of a fork falling to the floor on the other side of the restaurant and then determining if that fork belonged to their customer or not. Customers should keep this in mind unless they are all right with their server knowing intimate details about their lives — but there are a few things they definitely do not want to hear you speak about.
Your disdain for tipping
When a server overhears their customer saying they don’t believe in tipping, it can really affect that server’s desire to serve. (Besides, tipping isn’t something one can choose to believe in or not since it does actually exist.) Likewise, complaining under your breath about the service doesn’t help things either. If you’re unhappy with something or if you don’t plan on leaving a tip, have the courage to say it out loud even though your server probably already heard you anyway.
Related: Your Server Knows When You’re Lying
Medical situations
No server wants to hear about your recent colonoscopy or the mysterious rash on your back that won’t go away no matter how much argan oil is applied to it. While the miracle of childbirth is an astonishing feat, the specifics of it can be shocking to someone not prepared for the details. It’s dinner, not a medical consultation. That’s not to say these can’t be topics of conversation while dining in a restaurant, but maybe bring it down a few decibels when the server is delivering a plate of pasta.
Politics
Sure, you can discuss your political views all you want, but remember not everyone hearing you shares the same viewpoint. Servers are human beings with emotions and thoughts, so they can’t help but make a decision about you based on your political views when they hear them. If you and your server are on opposite ends of the political spectrum, a less than professional server might be tempted to make you wait a little bit longer for your french fries.
Related: Please Stop Stealing Stuff from Restaurants
Family drama
Although the restaurant may strive to make you feel right at home, it isn’t your personal dining room. Arguing with parents or fighting with a spouse makes it difficult for the server to know when to ask if a refill is needed. I mean, when is the right time for the dessert menu to be presented: before or after divorce papers have been filed? Belittling or verbally abusing your kids is another surefire way to make your server less than enthused to take care of you.
Your server
Saying distasteful things about the appearance of the person who is serving your food is downright rude. If you feel like the presence of tattoos or piercings on their body somehow inhibits their ability to carry plates and take orders, there’s no need to say it out loud. Think it and then file it away into a deep crevice of your brain between the frontal and temporal lobes and let it fade away. Allowing it a voice is not going to improve the level of service and it will probably make it worse.
Related: Serving Up Pride: Working In Restaurants Freed Me to Live the Life I Choose
It’s your dining experience and you should be able to do what you want. If letting words roll off your tongue with no concern of the consequences of how they affect others is your vibe, feel free. But dining out is a symbiotic experience and one person’s behavior influences someone else’s. Why not try to make it as enjoyable as possible for everyone? You can pretend that your server didn’t hear what you said about the boil on your backside, but they did. And they’re grossed out by it.
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