The 5 Craziest Things That Went Down on 90 Day Fiancé Last Night

From ELLE

We open episode two with Larissa and Colt(ee) in Las Vegas, Nevada. Larissa, still wearing her lace crop top and short- set pajamas; Colt dressed for his shift at Best Buy; and Lil' Debbie, still fantasizing about the different ways she'll kill Larissa by the finale, are all hanging out in the living room before Larissa leaves to talk to the producers about something she can't say in front of her captors.

In her DIY confessional, she reveals that she feels trapped and that Colt(ee) and Lil' Debbie are plotting against her. Ya think? After not saying anything that the audience doesn't already know, she returns to the house, clouded in mystery, only to await her possible deportation trial.

Besides her clothing montage in one of the final scenes in which she looks for "the perfect jail outfit”- a fake Herve Leger dress or bodycon suit-nothing super crazy happened with our favorite Nevadians.

Here's all the batsh*t crazy things that went down with the rest of the cast.

Nicole is trying to makeout with Azan all over Grenada

This might have been the most cringe-worthy moment in this episode. Nicole is planning a Caribbean vacation with the .001 cents in her bank account in hopes Azan will PDA it up on the beach. Azan, who we finally get to see via FaceTime, is still his same slimeball self. It's also revealed he doesn't work, exclusively hangs out with his friends, and has no plans to change anything in his life. The perfect man doesn't ex-.

Happy Thanksgiving, will you pass the taser?

River, Winter, Chantel, and gang might have had the the most uncomfortable Thanksgiving dinner ever, and I've spent Turkey day in a Benihana with complete strangers. Pedro didn't come because the last time he was at the house his sister's weave was pulled out while his mother-in-law screamed "Immigration para tú." The language she was speaking is what Spanish speakers describe as racism. Oh, and he wanted to play video games.

Pedro is definitely up to something, but so are Chantel's parents. Chantel's mom bought, and kept showing off, her new taser named "Sparky." I have bad news for Chantel’s mom: it doesn’t matter how much gold eyeshadow you apply, you still can't go around tasering people. We also got a peek into River's new rap career. If he exclusively raps about his fight with Pedro, he can count on my Soundcloud stream.

We have to cancel all gender reveal parties.

Nothing good comes from a gender reveal party. The California fires were started by an ICE officer shooting off a pinata at a gender reveal party. And now, in far less dire stakes, Andrei is getting dragged by Elizabeth for being controlling and not getting a job. Cancel your gender reveal right now.

What's up with everyone else?

We didn't get that much from Ashley and Jay or Paola and Russ this week. Ashley hates Jay still and Russ and Paola seem happy. Next week in Oklahoma will probably be an eventful affair for the duo.

If you still haven't had your 90 Day Fiance fix, I recommend watching TLC's recap show Pillow Talk where former cast members drag current cast members. Highlights include Annie exclusively referring to the police as the "PoPo". She's a real G.

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