48 Iconic Lines From The Lifestyle And Religion That Is "Gilmore Girls"
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I know that I am not alone when I say Gilmore Girls has a special place in my heart. It's a series that I've come back to over and over again, as its endearing characters, bittersweet life lessons, and hilarious dialogue always serve as comfort.
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Since the show's quick-witted writing is one of the reasons it's so lovable, I'm breaking down the 48 most iconic lines in all of Gilmore Girls history.
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Let's start with Lorelai's legendary coffee-related quips:
1."This is a jumbo-coffee morning. I need coffee in an IV." —Lorelai Gilmore
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2."Everything in my life has something to do with coffee. I believe in a former life I was coffee." —Lorelai Gilmore
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3."Do you like coffee?" "Only with my oxygen." —Lorelai Gilmore
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4."Coffee, please, and a shot of cynicism." —Lorelai Gilmore
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5."I can't stop drinking the coffee. I stop drinking the coffee, I stop doing the standing, walking, and words-putting-into-sentence-doing." —Lorelai Gilmore
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6."If it was physically possible to make love to a hot beverage, this would be the one.” —Lorelai Gilmore
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7."Coffee, coffee, coffee." —Lorelai Gilmore
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"Coffee, coffee, coffee," as in Lorelai really needs her coffee, coffee, coffee.
It's no surprise that the most well-known lines are part of some mother-daughter banter:
8."Oy with the poodles, already." —Lorelai and Rory Gilmore
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9."It's a show?" "It's a lifestyle. It's a religion." —Lorelai and Rory Gilmore
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They coined the motto of Gilmore Girls fans.
Lorelai's wisdom is also iconic:
10."I smell snow." —Lorelai Gilmore
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11."I don’t like Mondays, but unfortunately, they come around eventually." —Lorelai Gilmore
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12."If you're going to throw your life away, he better have a motorcycle!" —Lorelai Gilmore
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13.“I’m afraid that once your heart is involved, it all comes out in moron.” —Lorelai Gilmore
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14."I'm attracted to pie. It doesn't mean I need to date pie." —Lorelai Gilmore
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15."It’s all any of us wants: to find a nice person to hang out with till we drop dead." —Lorelai Gilmore
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16."If eating cake is wrong, I don't want to be right." —Lorelai Gilmore
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17."Give me a burger, onion rings, and a list of people who killed their parents and got away with it. I need some heroes." —Lorelai Gilmore
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18."You've been Gilmored."
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There are also plenty of quotable Rory-isms:
19."Who cares if I'm pretty if I fail my finals." —Rory Gilmore
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20."A little nervous breakdown can work wonders for a girl." —Rory Gilmore
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21."I live in two worlds. One is a world of books." —Rory Gilmore
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22."I love you, you idiot!" —Rory Gilmore
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23."You jump, I jump, Jack." —Rory Gilmore
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In omnia paratus.
24."Jerk, ass, arrogant, inconsiderate, mindless, frat boy, low life, buttface miscreant!" —Rory Gilmore
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"I'm sorry, 'buttface miscreant'?" —Logan Huntzberger
And Kirk-isms, too...
25."I want to get the healthy glow of someone who goes consistently to the gym without actually having to go, of course." —Kirk Gleason
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26."I'm so damn lonely, not even Animal Planet does it for me anymore." —Kirk Gleason
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27."I had an imaginary girlfriend for a while when I was young, but she left me." —Kirk Gleason
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Other Stars Hollow residents are also infamous:
28."People are particularly stupid today. I can't talk anymore." —Michel Gerard
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29."There's a phone call for you, and if I'm to fetch you like a dog, I'd like a cookie and a raise." —Michel Gerard
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30."It's so satisfying to watch people exercise while you eat junk food." —Lane Kim
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31."I thought there was a better chance of all four of the Beatles getting back together than you two ever calming down long enough to get engaged." —Taylor Doose
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32."Gnome kicking says a lot about a man's character." —Babette Dell
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33."Ladies and gentlemen, I am in escrow!" —T.J.
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34."Does anyone here understand that a man has a right not to have his personal life debated in a public forum? I am not Winona Ryder." —Jackson Belleville
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35."That makes me so mad and so sad. I'm smad!" —Sookie St. James
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36."Cookies for the love and the dean, and the cookies for the love and the dean!" —Sookie St. James
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This one is right up there with Sookie's "Rory's going to Chilton!" song.
The Gilmore girls' love interests have some memorable lines as well:
37."It's big, fat, happy sunshine day for me." —Luke Danes
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38."It's getting a little West Side Story here, Dean, and I've got to warn you, my dancing skills are not up to snuff." —Jess Mariano
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39."People can live for a hundred years without living a minute." —Logan Huntzberger
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40."It's Max Medina. Maaaaax Medina." —Max Medina
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Only from the most adorable voicemail of all time. IYKYK.
41."I just want you to know I'm in. I'm all in." —Luke Danes
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*Sobs into coffee*
Paris Geller is a category all unto her own:
42."I want to live my life so that I'll be able to read an in-depth biography about myself in later years and not puke." —Paris Geller
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43."No men. Just lots and lots of Chinese food." —Paris Geller
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44."Is it raining?" "No, it's National Baptism Day; tie your tubes, idiot." —Paris Geller
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No one was prepared for this comeback.
And last but not least, the savage wit of Emily (and Richard) Gilmore:
45."Well, if you expect that muffin to fly back to the kitchen by itself, you better go get it a cape." —Emily Gilmore
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46."It's not every day I have my girls here for dinner on a day the banks are open." —Emily Gilmore
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47."Only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at lunch!" —Richard Gilmore
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Cue Emily's iconic "Well, then, buy me a boa and drive me to Reno, because I am open for business!"
48."You can use your mother's old golf clubs. They're upstairs gathering dust along with the rest of her potential." —Emily Gilmore
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Emily in regards to Lorelai, of course. SAVAGE.
