65 Jolly Christmas Jokes to Keep the Whole Family Laughing All Season Long

·5 min read
65 Jolly Christmas Jokes to Keep the Whole Family Laughing All Season Long

The holiday season brings tons of cheer and fun — along with its fair share of stress (think: baking dozens of Christmas cookies, transforming your house into a winter wonderland, finding gifts for everyone on your list and mailing your Christmas cards in time). But when you need to get into the holly, jolly spirit, take a look at these Christmas jokes for a good chuckle. While you can always keep the laughs to yourself, you might as well share them with the people you love most because it's the season of giving, after all: Pick a few corny jokes to include in your family’s holiday cards (laughter is the way to the heart) or save some to use as icebreakers for your in-person gathering on December 25.

All of these jokes are appropriate enough for kids and adults, guaranteeing solid belly laughs all around. Find everything from hilarious puns to knock-knock jokes, all of which celebrate the best parts of the season: Santa Claus, reindeer, gingerbread men and other festive favorites. And if you're looking for even more ways to spread holiday cheer, be sure to check out our best Christmas games and family-friendly crafts!

Punny Christmas Jokes

  • Why do reindeer like Beyoncé so much? She sleighs.

  • What reindeer game do reindeer play at sleepovers? Truth or deer.

  • What did Santa say when he stepped into a big puddle? It must have reindeer.

  • What does Rudolph want for Christmas? A Pony sleigh station.

  • What is Santa's dogs name? Santa Paws!

  • Where do Santa's reindeer stop for coffee? Star-bucks!

  • What’s every elf’s favorite type of music? Wrap!

  • What’s the absolute best Christmas present? A broken drum — you can’t beat it!

  • What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-it is.

  • What do Santa's elves learn in school? The elf-abet.

  • What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.

  • What do grapes sing at Christmas? 'Tis the season to be jelly.

  • What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has noel.

  • What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet!

  • What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Ice Crispies.

  • Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey—he’s always stuffed.

Photo credit: Tom Merton - Getty Images
Photo credit: Tom Merton - Getty Images

Santa Claus Jokes

  • What's red and white and falls down chimneys? Santa Klutz!

  • How can Santa deliver presents during a thunderstorm? His sleigh is flown by raindeer.

  • What's Santa Claus's favorite type of potato chip? Crisp Pringles!

  • What is Santa’s primary language? North Polish.

  • Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him!

  • What is Santa's favorite kind of candy? Jolly ranchers.

  • How do the elves clean Santa's sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer.

  • How do you know when Santa’s around? You can always sense his presents.

  • What was Santa's favorite subject in school? Chemis-tree!

  • Why does Santa always enter through the chimney? Because it soots him.

  • How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house!

  • What do you call a broke Santa Claus? Saint-nickel-less.

  • What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? Santa walking backwards!

  • What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker.

  • Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.

  • What’s Santa’s favorite fruit? (Sugar)plums.

  • Who’s Santa’s favorite singer? Elfish Presley.

Photo credit: dszc - Getty Images
Photo credit: dszc - Getty Images

Christmas Tree Jokes

  • Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal!

  • What did Luke Skywalker say after he planted a Christmas tree farm? May the forest be with you!

  • How did the two rival Christmas trees get along? They signed a peace tree-ty!

  • How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out? They spruce up!

  • What was the Christmas tree’s favorite shape? A treeangle!

  • What is a Christmas tree's favorite candy? Orna-mints!

  • Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present's beneath them.

  • What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree? Christmas chopping!

  • Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? They have too many needles.

  • What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-it is.

  • Who is a Christmas tree's favorite singer? Spruce Springsteen.

  • What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? Nice gnawing you!

  • What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad?A pineapple!

  • What did one Christmas tree say to another? Lighten up!

  • What month does a Christmas tree hate the most? Sep-timber!

Photo credit: CoffeeAndMilk - Getty Images
Photo credit: CoffeeAndMilk - Getty Images

Christmas Knock-Knock Jokes

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Mary. Mary who? Mary Christmas!

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Chris. Chris who? Christmas is here!

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive Christmastime, don’t you?

  • Knock, knock Who’s there? Honda. Honda who? Honda first day of Christmas my true love sent to me…

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Dexter. Dexter who? Dexter halls with boughs of holly…

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Santa. Santa who? Santa Christmas card to you, did you get it?

  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Elf. Elf who? Elf me wrap this present for Santa!

  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Holly. Holly who? Holly-days are here again!

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Interrupting Santa. Inter– Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Anna. Anna who? Anna partridge in a pear tree.

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Avery. Avery who? Avery merry Christmas to you!

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow time to waste. It’s almost Christmas!

  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Coal. Coal who? Coal me if you hear Santa coming.

  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Donut. Donut who? Donut open til Christmas!

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for Christmas cookies!

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Gladys. Gladys who? Gladys Christmas!

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ho Ho. Ho Ho who? Your Santa impression needs a little work!

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