4 Tips For Teaching Your Kids to Travel Like Mini Marie Kondo-ites

Two years ago, I split up with my husband and my whole life changed. What a trip. Some nights you can find me making out with a hot bartender; some nights I’m sprawled on the couch, full Bridget Jones, bawling “why me” in a sweatsuit. For the most part, it’s pretty good. The thing is, I have two kids, and although I’m okay with the “mothering” part of the single mother thing, the mundane household stuff can totally take me down. Killing bugs, fixing the fridge, tinkering with the cable box? Not. My. Thing. Honestly, I probably stayed with my ex two years longer than I should have, just because the idea of having to learn how to strap the carseat into the car seriously seemed Sisyphean.

So when I received an invite to Belmond La Samanna—private beach resort and spa in St. Martin—my first thought was: um, no. Should’ve been an easy yes, I know. I live in Brooklyn and the winter had been a frigid tundra of hell. Like one of the coldest on record. Whipping winds, sub-zero temps, black sky mornings…there is only so much Prozac and lightbox gazing and listening to the Moana soundtrack on Saturdays watching the sun set at 4 p.m. with two children under the age of six screaming out “Your sister is NOT a horse!” before you gotta get the eff out of dodge. Sometimes, as they say, the only cure is sunshine.

But the thought of getting here to there was enough to send me over the edge. Me + Air Travel + 2 Little Kids = No Thank You. I’m such a bad traveler that once, when my younger daughter when six weeks old, I generated a national news scandal on a JetBlue flight when I refused to pump breast milk in the bathroom (by the time I landed in San Fran it was all over ABC); once my older daughter ripped my threadbare peasant shirt down the middle while nursing, rendering me topless and forced to sit through a three hour flight in only a nursing bra. So you can see my hesitation.

But most importantly: I’ve just never learned to pack properly. Anything required to get from point A to B? That was Daddy’s duty. He’s the type of methodical, linear thinker who actually takes the time to plan and fold and press all the air out of plastic bags. Me? I’m like: I’ll just wait till the last minute and throw it in a big pile and pray for the best. My poor kids. Mom is useless in this department. Time to call on the professionals.

Enter Laura Cattano, an Organizational Designer whose goal is to help her clients streamline their belongings in order to create well-organized, high vibrational lives. I explained my dilemma: Single Mom Slash Slob has to hightail it to paradise with her wee ones, but has no idea how. She was unfazed. “My clients often tell me how their parents did everything for them when they were kids,” Cattano says. “Cleaned their room, set their schedule, packed their school bag or weekend bags. They had a false sense that they were doing their kids a favor but what they were really expressing to the child is that they cannot do it for themselves—which for the most part is pure nonsense.” Yeah, sister. Here are her five tips for teaching single mom and kinder how to jet set like mini Marie Kondo-ites.

1. Have Your Kids Pick Out Their Own Luggage

Normally I throw my daughters’ clothes in with mine—in a black, polyester suitcase my dad got for me when I moved to New York in 2001. It has a broken zipper and is inexplicably covered in dog fur (I don’t own a dog). Away luggage to the rescue! I allowed my daughters to choose their own (think mini, pink, and princess-y), which made them super psyched about the prospect of packing for the trip well in advance of the actual departure date. We also ordered a bunch of pink Insider Mesh Packing Cubes so that they could fold and arrange their clothes and toiletries in separate silos inside the actual suitcase. “The whole goal,” says Cattano, “is to give your children a feeling of autonomy, control, and ownership which they will take with them the rest of their lives.” She sat with my daughters for three hours and showed them how to press, pack, and fold to their hearts’ content. My little monsters were rapt.

2. Prep Carry-On Bags Way In Advance

Traveling with babies is one thing: it’s just a mess of dirty diapers and pacifiers and prayers. Traveling with two cogent children who require constant entertainment and food and water and potty breaks is another. Plus, my older daughter suffers from severe motion sickness (I’ve been barfed on more times than I can count). “All organization is anticipating what’s going to happen,” says Cattano.”You don’t want to toss a bunch of stuff in a bag loosey-goosey. You want you and your kids to have every and anything on hand so you don’t have to fuss around in the overhead bins.” In addition to brand new backpacks, Ziploc baggies became our best friend. We created one for my older daughter and labeled it “AIRSICK PREVENTION”: in it went a knob of fresh ginger, travel-sized Herbivore rose mist and SW Basics Peppermint Mist, Wet Wipes, tissue, and gum—all the things she needs to sniff and spray and chew preventatively when she feels a wave of nausea. Other labeled bags included: SNACKS (crackers, fruit roll-ups, seaweed, string cheese), CHANGE OF CLOTHES, IPAD, COLORING BOOKS + CRAYONS, and one stuffed animal. (Fine, the stuffed animal didn’t go in a baggie.) Update: We arrived in warm weather well-fed, well-rested, well-entertained and, most importantly: puke-free! “The truth is,” says Cattano, “anything we do for the children ends up being good for everyone.” Amen to that.

3. Unpack As Soon As You Arrive

“Do a full unpack as soon as you get to the hotel so you know where everything is and can make the most of your time away,” says Cattano. “I like to use what the hotel has in the room to help me stay organized. If they have a tray holding the coffee station, use it on the bathroom counter to corral beauty products and toiletries. Use the water glass to hold makeup or tubes of beauty products or toothbrushes. And once something is soiled and will not be worn again, put it back in the empty suitcase.” Basically, teach your kids to take the time to put everything in its place and keep it there. Last time I went to my parents’ house, my mom had to take me aside and say: “you know, there is a closet and a bureau with drawers in the guest bedroom.” Translation: No need to make my house look like the love child of Bloomingdales and a landfill exactly like you did when you were sixteen. Memo received.

4. Practice Simplicity Parenting

Note to parents: Hide iPads and phones upon arrival! Even if you’re not staying at a property as lush and luxe as Belmond La Samanna (think tropical gardens; white sand beaches; rooms painted in pastel blues, greens, pinks, and peaches; the bluest sea you’ve ever seen), get outside STAT! “Use vacation time for the family to take a break from technology,” says Cattano. “Play fun outdoor activities during the day and cards, charades, or Pictionary in the evening.” At Belmond, we spent the mornings building sand castles in the surf, the afternoon hunting for iguanas and playing Scrabble, and the evenings turning cartwheels in the white sands at sunset. (Okay, there were a few instances in which we reclined in our high-thread beds watching Scooby Doo after a dip in the pool. But you get where I’m going with this.) “Modern life is so fact-paced, over-scheduled, and stressed with too much connectivity,” says Cattano. “Vacations should be about slowing down, enjoying the moment and having actual face-to-face time with each other, creating family memories. But the key is YOU have to take the break as well.”

Originally Appeared on Vogue