37 Tweets That I Feel Personally Attacked By Because They Are Too Damn True
Ever scrolled through Twitter and thought, Wow, I have never had a unique thought in my life? Well, same. Look at that, another completely not-unique thought! Anyway, here are a bunch of tweets that have made me feel personally attacked because they are describing me to a tee. And probably you too. WE ARE ALL THE SAME. Okay, enjoy.
1.
that's right
2.
if we ever in a “don’t laugh” situation do NOT look over at me bro
3.
“please see cashier” i’m gonna get in my car & find another gas station is what i’m gonna do
4.ME:
me: *eats something unhealthy*also me: if I drink a lot of water it’ll be ok
5.
why make a 2 minute phone call when I can avoid it and feel anxious about the phone call for another 24 hours instead
6.
you don’t have to ask me twice “can we go home” cause i’ve been ready since we got here
7.
My heart absolutely beating out of my chest as I send the most mildly confrontational message that’s ever been written
8.
i jus be chillin then my ear goes ᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉ
9.
i have come across so many of the same people on dating apps over the years i’ve started to see them as coworkers
10.
just saw somebody my age have their life together, day is ruined
11.
me: ignores someone's texts for 84 years also me: spams them 400 times if they don't reply in 10 seconds
12.
every crew got the silly homie with an air of profound sadness about him
13.
14.
love to make my therapist laugh, which is of course the point
15.
cancelling plans like “so sorry but it was actually a different, less depressed version of me that made those plans w you last week and the me that i am today doesn’t want to go.”
16.
disgusting
17.
for someone with two brain cells i sure do fucking overthink
18.
i am a messy bitch who lives for drama, right up until the second i am implicated in drama, in which case i think everyone should cut it out and stop being mean to me
19.
ok i’ll bite: what are “relaxed shoulders”
20.
I’m at a place in my life where I can finally understand why my mom would act like making one stop between work & home would kill her.
21.
I used to accidentally repeat stories to my friends a lot but now I just say “I think I’ve already told you this” and say it again anyway
22.
tik tok truly paralyzes me like i’ll watch it for 45 minutes in whatever position i was in when i opened it. the stillness of a lizard in danger
23.
Of the five love languages mine is the lesser known sixth one, the constant need for validation and attention
24.
as my mental health deteriorates my lmaos get longer lmaoooooo
25.
*watching great British bake off eating a microwaved burrito*me: pathetic, her tea cakes are dry
26.
Unmuting myself just to say “Bye” in Zoom meetings
27.
i’m tired of pretending to be chill, i am insane
28.
sometimes i get really concerned about things very suddenly like i’ll be chillin then all the sudden be like “o shit where’s my birth certificate”
29.
me forgetting that i exist while i’m driving
30.
Does anyone else pack underwear for a trip like they're planning on shitting themselves twice for every day they're gone?
31.
when the shipping address is the same as the billing address
32.
as a kid: i hope i marry richas an adult: i hope a rich person hits me with their car
33.
me choking on my own saliva for no reason.
34.
sorry I didn’t text u back I was pretending I didn’t see it and I ended up actually forgetting
35.
hot girls google “____ ending explained” after every movie they watch
36.
Sorry I can't hang out I have to itch the mosquito bite on my ankle until I reach bone
37.And finally:
does ur brain ever just go: “donkäe”
