37 Famous Novels, Ranked From "Super Bad Title" To "Freaking Amazing Title"

BuzzFeed
·5 min read

Welcome to a bit of nonsense! Here are 37 classic and famous novels ranked from "that's a bad title for a book" to "that's a very, very good title for a book."

NBC / Via giphy.com

To be clear, I have read some of these books, but I am judging only the titles for all of them.

Oh, and because I think including images of the book covers isn't the most riveting choice, for each book title I have chosen a moment from Friends, New Girl, or The Office that feels like it fits.

Warner Brothers / Via giphy.com

Alright! Let's get into it.

37.The Outsiders (by S. E. Hinton)

On New Girl, Nick says, He calls an oven oves, he calls an airport airp, he went to a party called Bros Before Hoes on the Moon, and the dress code was yacht flair, Winston says, Schmidt has a friend who changed his middle name to one word, Doinit

So wannabe edgy.

Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

36.War and Peace (by Leo Tolstoy)

On New Girl, Cece says to Jess, Did you wash your hair, it looks really clean, and all of the women around gasp, including Jess

Holy crap does it sound boring. "War and Peace" is a bold title though, which I appreciate.

Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

35.Little Women (by Louisa May Alcott)

On Friends, Rachel says, Beth dies, Joey says, Beth dies, is that true, if I keep reading, is Beth gonna die, and then later Joey says, Beth is really, really sick

I know it was huge deal to call the characters women and not girls — and that's still a big deal — but the "little" does not sit well with me.

Warner Brothers

34.Jane Eyre (by Charlotte Brontë)

On New Girl, Jess says, Im gonna call Cece, she knows about this stuff, she lived one summer in Milan with a guy named Crystal Randy

"Jane Eyre" is a cool name, but I want more than that.

Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

33.A Tale of Two Cities (by Charles Dickens)

On The Office, Michael says, Tube City, you owe me and Jim explains that Michael made an elaborate structure for hamsters to live in called Tube City

So melodramatic, oh my god.

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32.The Bell Jar (by Sylvia Plath)

On Friends, there is a potato in a glass covered cake stand in Central Perk in one scene

I respect an artsy title, but it's not for me.

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31.The Great Gatsby (by F. Scott Fitzgerald)

On New Girl, Schmidt says, Schmidt, Schmidt, Schmidt, Nick says, What are you doing, Schmidt says, I'm being a man, I'm Schmidt, Schmidt, Yeah, I'm Schmidt, in case you were wondering what my name is, it's Schmidt, Schmidt, this is Nick, Nick, Schmidt

While it sounds like an entertaining book, it also sounds annoying.

Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

30.Song of Solomon (By Toni Morrison)

On Friends, Joey says, Hey, if Little Joeys dead, then I got no reason to live, you know, Ross says, Joey, OMnipotent, and Joey asks, You are

It's a con that "Song of Solomon" is already a thing, but it's a pro because that makes it intriguing.

Warner Bros.

29.The Age of Innocence (by Edith Wharton)

Jess in a flashback saying, In three years, Im gonna be 25, I cant rent my first car as a virgin, they will know

Quite theatrical, but I don't hate it.

Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

28.Don Quixote (By Miguel de Cervantes)

Schmidt says, I can never write my vows right now, I can barely even spell my own name, S, Jeans, is that right, is jeans not a letter, it feels like a letter to me and then he says, Jeans isn’t a letter, jeans is pants

It's both a lot to take in and telling me nothing.

Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

27.The Shining (By Stephen King)

On New Girl, in reference to a doll holding a hammer on the floor, Jess says, Yeah, he's not fooling anyone, You think just cause he's a snappy dresser the mice don't see the hammer, Mice come from all over the building to laugh at that dummy witch

It's cheesy, but the word "shining" is enjoyable.

Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

26.Anna Karenina (by Leo Tolstoy)

On Friends, Chandler says, Rachel, when you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women, and Rachel says, Uh, no, no, it bothered me when he slept with other women

"Anna Karenina" doesn't tell me anything about the book other than the fact that there's someone with a great name in it.

Warner Bros.

25.The Catcher in the Rye (by J.D. Salinger)

On New Girl, Jess says, First of all, he's a street artist, second of all, he called a scotch on the rocks a sco ro, he has a tattoo that just says Warrior Poet, He tipped the waiter with a sketch of a hip hop mouse

The title evokes an image; the image is confusing.

Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

24.Wuthering Heights (by Emily Brontë)

On Friends, Phoebe sees Monica and Chandler in the window and says, Hey you guys, they start hooking up and Phoebe screams, Rachel asks, What, Phoebe says, Chandler and Monica, Chandler and MONICA, Rachel says, Oh my god, and Phoebe says, My eyes, my eyes

Weird but very memorable.

Warner Bros.

23.The Color Purple (By Alice Walker)

On The Office, Meredith says, I thought you're not supposed to wear white to a wedding, Kelly says, I know, but there was an emergency, and then, in a talking head, she says, I look really good in white

It doesn't tell me much, but it's straight to the point.

NBC

22.Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (by Lewis Carroll)

On New Girl, Winston says, Anythings funny when you put an old man in it, except for the ground

It seems like there's a lot going on in the book.

Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

21.The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (by Mark Twain)

On The Office, Michael says, Abraham Lincoln once said that If youre a racist, I will attack you with the North

It seems like there's a lot going on in the book, but in an organized way.

NBC

20.Frankenstein (Mary Shelley)

On New Girl, Winston says, You've named your testicles, and they're both named Sharon, and Nick says, Yeah, so what

If I didn't know what Frankenstein is, "Frankenstein" would just sound like a last name, but a very funny last name for a book title.

Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

19.Great Expectations (by Charles Dickens)

On Friends, Rachel says, Okay, I will have the side salad, the server says, And what would that be on the side of, and Rachel says, I dont know, why dont you just put it right here next to my water

Dickens, what a confident title, my man!

Warner Bros.

18.To Kill a Mockingbird (by Harper Lee)

On New Girl, Winston asks, Fun Saturday, Dorado says, No, my bird died, Winston says, Well, my mom used to say, when a bird dies, he gets another set of wings in heaven, so, and Dorado says, Well, that bird was going straight to hell

While I'm not down for a title about killing a bird, it raises a lot of questions I want answered.

Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

17.Persuasion (by Jane Austen)

On Friends, Chandler is reading a newspaper and Joey says, Can I see the comics, Chandler says, This is the New York Times, and Joey says, Okay, may I see the comics

It really tells me a vibe.

Warner Brothers

16.Their Eyes Were Watching God (By Zora Neale Hurston)

On The Office, Pam says, Finally, I want to thank God, because God gave me this Dundie, and I feel God in this Chili's tonight

A very cool title, but it's also a lot.

NBC

15.Vanity Fair (by William Makepeace Thackeray)

On The Office, Kelly says, I am one of the few people who looks hot eating a cupcake

"Vanity Fair" is impressed with itself, but it's cool, so, fair.

NBC

14.A Christmas Carol (by Charles Dickens)

On New Girl, Winston says, Whether or not Santas real, its nice to have something to believe in, Jess asks, Did you say whether or not Santas real, Nick says, Santas not real, and Winston says, Shut up, stupid, youre a dummy, and Winston stutters a bunch

While the title makes it seem like the book could be really bad, there's Christmas!

Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

13.Nineteen Eighty-Four (by George Orwell)

On Friends, in an 80s flashback, Ross says, So Im thinking of asking Rachel out tonight, you know, maybe playing her that song we wrote last week, Chandler asks, Emotional Knapsack, Ross says, Yeah, and Chandler says, Right on

As a modern person, it doesn't tell me much about the book, but the '80s!

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12.The Scarlet Letter: A Romance (By Nathaniel Hawthorne)

Coach says, You've never been turned on by gas mileage before, Winton says, Once, Schmidt asks, When was that, Winston says, It was a Thursday, that's all I remember, Schmidt asks, A Thursday, Winston says, Yeah, and Schmidt glares at him

How mysterious and suave.

Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

11.Les Misérables (by Victor Hugo)

Nick says, I will push if I wanna push, and then when he can't get the door open he yells, I hate doooors

What a hilarious title for a book.

Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

10.Go Tell It on the Mountain (by James Baldwin)

On Friends, Joey says, Monday, one day, Tuesday, two day, Wednesday, when, huh, what day, Thursday, the third day

A directive as a book title is the move.

Warner Bros.

9.Invisible Man (by Ralph Ellison)

On The Office, Creed says, Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it, the last person to do this disappeared, his name, Creed Bratton

Superpowers are fun.

NBC

8.The Grapes of Wrath (by John Steinbeck)

Nick says, Would you like a green grape shoved in your, given to your mouth, handed to your mouth

This title is bonkers. What are you talking about, John Steinbeck? Calm down.

Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

7.The Count of Monte Cristo (by Alexandre Dumas)

On New Girl, A child in a school says, A white man broke in today, Schmidt says, A white man, no, well, what did security do about it, the child says, Nothing, and Schmidt yells, Typical

A Count! How dramatique.

Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

6.Pride and Prejudice (by Jane Austen)

Jess says, If I were a gold digger, do you think I'd be interested in you, I would be the worst gold digger in the world

Look, "Pride and Prejudice" is just a really good name for a book.

Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

5.The Lord of the Rings (by J. R. R. Tolkien)

On Friends, Chandler pretends to read, It was Summer, and it was hot, Rachel was there, a lonely gray couch, Oh look, cried Ned, and then the kingdom was his forever, the end

I want to know what's up. Who is the lord of the rings? What rings?

Warner Bros.

4.Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea (By Jules Verne)

On The Office, in a car, Dwight yells, This is the lake, Michael yells, The machine knows, Dwight yells, This is the lake, and Michael yells, Stop yelling at me

The ocean is so scary and cool. Let's get into it.

NBC

3.And Then There Were None (by Agatha Christie)

On The Office, Michael says, Well, well, well, how the turntables

Ooooooooh.

NBC

2.The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (by C.S. Lewis)

Ross asks, What is Monica's biggest pet peeve, Joey says, Animals dressed as humans, and Ross says, That's correct

There's so much here. It's wild. I love it.

Warner Bros.

1.Moby-Dick (Herman Melville)

On New Girl, Jess says, If he's using it right, no one's seeing his penis

I mean, LOL.

Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television