35 Signs He's Absolutely 'The One' for You, According to Relationship Experts
When you first meet someone, it may be easy to tell if they’d be fun to date: they’re charming, adventurous and kind. But even though you may have strong feelings for them, that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re "the one" you should spend the rest of your life with. Figuring that out is a bit trickier and not something you’ll always know right away. In fact, it may take months or years of going through different scenarios together for you to realize if he’s the person you should marry or not. So, what are the signs he's "the one"?
Along the way, you can certainly keep an eye out for signs that your relationship is heading in the right direction that’ll help you determine if he’s the perfect man for you. And while everyone has their own checklist of what they want in a husband, there are several traits and characteristics that almost everyone can agree make a man great husband material. To help you pinpoint what common signs you should look out for, we spoke with three different relationship experts: Alicia Muñoz, author of No More Fighting, A Year of Us and The Couples Quiz Book, Monica Berg, author of Rethink Love and Alyssa Dineen, author of The Art of Online Dating.
Use this list of 35 signs he’s the one to see what traits these experts said are important to have in a husband. If your man checks these boxes (or most of them), you’ll be glad to know you have a keeper on your hands and saying “I do” may be just around the corner for you.
35 Signs He's "The One"
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1. He’s kind
This one may seem like a no-brainer, but if you find a guy who is generally sweet, don’t take that for granted. Kindness is an amazing quality in a partner and future spouse. In fact, Monica tells us in the long haul, kindness may turn out to be one of the characteristics you appreciate the most in someone you marry because when you go through tough times, their kindness will see you through.
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2. He’s not afraid to say he’s sorry
If your man is someone who always circles back and apologizes after you two have a fight, it’s a good sign, says Alicia. “When someone does this, it shows that they’re self-reflective, curious and willing to take responsibility for their own missteps,” she explains. Doing this is a key sign that he’s ready for a long-term relationship.
3. You love them for what’s on the inside
Have you ever heard the saying “It’s on the inside that counts”? Well, it’s true. If you find yourself attracted to someone because of the way they act and carry themselves instead of just their looks, it’s a good sign. “What's important is that you share a compatible spirituality and moral code and place value on the same things in life because this ensures that you can grow together and navigate together through life's inevitable challenges,” says Monica.
4. You feel really good about yourself when you’re around him
You don’t want to be with someone who you feel like you can’t be 100% yourself around—that would be exhausting. Monica says you want to be able to show your future husband all of your sides: the good, the bad and the messy. Otherwise, he’ll never know the real you.
5. He supports your dreams
Finding someone who is your biggest cheerleader is a major plus. You want your forever partner to be someone who roots for you, appreciates you and supports all of your dreams, even if that means he has to make a sacrifice or two.
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6. He wants to spend time with you
When someone cares for you, they will move mountains to be with you. From bringing you coffee in the morning so you can both have a quick moment before you head to work together, to texting you sweet messages in the middle of the day, nothing will stop a man who is in love from finding ways to show you he cares about you. If your partner takes time out of his busy schedule to do any of those things, it means you’re a priority to him.
7. He tells you everything
If your man is someone who shares secrets with you and opens up to you when he’s feeling sad or having a hard day at work, that lets you know that he feels safe with you. He has no walls up and wants you to know everything about him, which makes him a great husband-to-be.
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8. You are friends first
Being friends with your partner before you start dating can provide so many benefits. It helps you have a strong foundation that will come in handy over the years. “Friendship fuels the flame of love because it offers the best protection against feeling adversarial toward your spouse despite inevitable disagreements,” Monica tells us.
9. Conversation flows naturally
When you’re with your soul mate, you’ll feel like you’ve known them forever. From your first date, onward, your conversations with them will never seem awkward. You’ll just get each other and be able to talk about anything and everything.
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10. He’s all about compromising
Alicia says finding a partner who is willing to meet in the middle when you two disagree on something is major. A guy who does just that realizes that being flexible and making decisions together is important.
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11. He makes you laugh
Having a sense of humor in your relationship is super important. “This can really make or break a relationship—especially if you can laugh at yourselves,” Alyssa reveals.
12. You have fun together
Being with someone who helps you let loose and helps you embrace your inner child every now and then is essential for having a lasting relationship. “Happy relationships rely far more on how much fun you have as a couple rather than successful conflict resolution,” Monica tells us.
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13. Things aren’t complicated
When you’re with the right person, things won’t be challenging. Your life will just feel better with them in it and you won’t be able to imagine life without them by your side. There will be a peace you feel when you’re together that will make you feel at ease.
14. He remembers things
Having a partner who pays attention to the little things means he really cares. “If you are often surprised by questions he asks you that indicate he was listening to something important you told him a week or two ago, he’s a keeper,’ says Alicia. It lets you know that he cares about things you care about.
15. You both put effort into the relationship
There’s nothing worse than being in a one-sided relationship where you feel like the other person doesn’t care as much about it as you do. So if your partner is just as invested as you as you are in him and he constantly puts effort into making your relationship the best it can be, take that as a sign that he’ll do the same when it comes to marriage.
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16. You fight—but healthily
Being in a relationship with someone who isn’t afraid to argue with you is actually a good thing. Monica says that in her experience, couples fall into two categories: those who feel passionately enough about their relationship to argue and those who don't because they have given up or given in. So being with someone who fights with you every now and then so you guys can resolve a conflict shows they want to continue to work on your relationship and make it stronger. (Here are some examples of what healthy marriage fights look like).
17. He talks about the future with you
When you meet the person you’re supposed to be with, talking about your future together won’t scare him off. It’ll actually excite him. He’ll be able to daydream about your future plans with you and he’ll even take steps in his professional life to make sure he’s working hard so that he can provide for you in the future.
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18. He won’t judge you
No matter what you’re going through, the right person for you won’t judge you. You’ll feel comfortable opening up to him about embarrassing moments or moments when you weren’t proud of yourself, and he won’t criticize you for it. He’ll be there for you and do anything he can to help you in those situations.
19. He offers to do small errands or tasks for you
“This one may seem silly, but sometimes it’s the smallest thing like randomly offering to grab you a coffee, picking up a prescription or dry cleaning, or doing a household chore that is typically 'yours' every once in a while, is a great sign,” Alyssa shares. Why? It shows you that he’s willing to go out of his way to give you a helping hand.
20. You won’t question his feelings
If the guy you’re dating makes you constantly wonder if he likes you or not, he’s not the right guy for you. Your perfect person will lay his heart on the line and won’t hold his feeling from you. He’ll tell you he loves you verbally and through his actions.
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21. You trust him
In a loving partnership, you’ll both trust each other completely. You won’t have any doubts about each other because he won’t give you any reason to. “When someone says they’ll do something, and then does it, you’ll know you’ve met someone you can rely on,” Alicia reveals.
22. He respects your friends and family
A guy who sees a future with you will value things in your life that are important to you, like your friends and family. If he loves you, he’ll love them too.
23. He speaks well of you
The way someone speaks about you to others is important. “When you’re out with friends or in groups, having a partner who goes out of their way to say nice things about you, even if you were just arguing in the car before you got there, says a lot about them,” Alyssa tells us. This shows that he never wants to make you look bad and that he respects you.
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24. He’s a gentleman
A man who is husband material will show you that he’s a gentleman. He’ll open doors for you, offer to carry your bag, surprise you with flowers, walk you to your door on dates and do other little things that show you he cares for you and wants to make you feel special.
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25. He’ll want to know everything about you
From your first date together to a date night you have years into your relationship, a guy who you should say “I do” to, will always want to learn more about you. He’ll never run out of questions to ask you and always ask you about your day. He’ll want to be the person in your life who knows the most about you and he’ll show you that he wants to grow with you. “Partners see themselves and the relationship as undergoing constant evolution and are conscious about choosing how that evolution unfolds rather than passively letting it happen,” Monica shares.
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26. He doesn’t always tell you what you want to hear
“When someone is willing to share opinions or preferences contrary to ours, it means they’re not putting on a show, being compliant or conflict-avoidant,” Alicia explains. That’s why having a partner who isn’t a people pleaser is a good thing because you know he’s mature enough to tell you when you’re wrong or tell you when he disagrees with you.
27. He stands up for you
A man you feel safe around and always has your back is a guy you’ll want to marry one day. He’ll be someone who will feel like he has to protect you and he’ll always stand up for you.
28. He shows you his vulnerable side
If your partner has cried in front of you and shown you their vulnerable side, that’s a sign that they trust you on a deeper level and feel safe with you. Finding someone who is willing to open up to you in ways that he can’t with others shows you that you’re incredibly special to him and share a bond that nobody else does with him.
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29. He doesn’t try to change you
Your future spouse shouldn’t try to mold you into someone else. Alicia wants you to know that a man who is right for you will see you as you are rather than trying to fit you into the box of who he wants you to be.
30. He’ll drop everything to be with you
If you need something or are in a bind, a man who has husband vibes will make sure he’s there with you. He’ll drop whatever it is that he’s doing to be by your side in a time of need. That’ll show you that you can depend on him when times get tough.
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31. He’s not perfect
Nobody is perfect, but when you’re dating someone who can own up to their flaws, that shows they have incredible maturity and strength. “If you’ve met someone who can take responsibility for their human failings, flaws and imperfections without getting chronically defensive or collapsing into self-criticism, you’ve met a keeper,” Alicia points out.
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32. He’ll want to strengthen your connection
Alicia says the ability—and desire—to stay connected is critical in a long-lasting relationship, but because they take work, not everyone puts in the effort. A man that nourishes your connection by doing things, like squeezing your hand or sending a good morning or goodnight text is a partner who won’t give up on your relationship.
33. He’s willing to talk through conflicts
Being with a partner who can talk through misunderstands is crucial. “Someone who is able to circle back after a sticky or confusing moment and transparently share what was happening on a deeper level is someone who will help your relationship flourish in the long run,” explains Alicia.
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34. You bring out the best in each other
Couples who belong together want to be their best selves for their partner and vice versa. When they are together, they shine their brightest.
35. You don’t need each other
The best relationships are when you don’t need each other to make yourselves happy, but you choose to be with each other. “When you both know who you are, what you want, and what makes you happy, it shows that you and your partner are your own person,” Monica reveals. This takes the pressure away from the other person having to try to complete you and instead, you can both complement each other.
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